


Pure

by Kitchenator



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Issues, First Time writing Smut, Mentions of Rape, bigger reader, long chapters, mentions of depression, not a perfect relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-10 04:19:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 57,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11119782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitchenator/pseuds/Kitchenator
Summary: Determined not to let anyone else get hurt, you throw yourself into the hunting life.  You knew that it wouldn't be easy, but you never thought that certain prejudices would follow you into this life, lucky for you, a certain demon is there to make sure that you know better.





	1. Bigger

You leaned against the bar, watching with some amusement as Sam and Dean duped some guys out of cash in a game of pool. They'd all been drinking, so it was no surprise when words became a little heated, but you didn't worry, Sam and Dean could handle themselves.

You had wound up with the Winchester's after your life suddenly changed dramatically. You used to live quietly near your aunt's place, often babysitting your eight year old cousin. You had moved there for a life change, but close to some family at your parent's request, and you thought things were working out nicely.

That was until you hadn't heard from your aunt in a while and went around to see if they were okay.

Your aunt had answered, her eyes red and bloodshot as she begged for you to leave.

That was when your cousin had walked in behind her, all sharp teeth and wild eyed. Your aunt had pleaded with him to go back to bed, that everything was going to be okay, but he had seemed to be beyond listening.

You'd watched with horror as he had torn into his mother and you stood frozen, unable to move, your scream caught in your throat.

When he was done, he ran to you, tears his eyes, seemingly back to normal. He clung to you to you so tightly and begged for you to help him.

You hadn't known how to react, just letting your hands rest on him.

It hadn't lasted long as you found yourself unconscious, someone having hit you from behind.

As it turned out, you were dragged to a vampire nest, a family, and they had wanted a child, your cousin being the chosen one, and now you were to be the intended next victim, so that they could teach him to control his urges.

Sam and Dean had turned up and saved you.

You had refused to let them kill your cousin, who had hid away when they burst in.

What followed, what you had to do, killed a small part of you.

So, you forced Sam and Dean to take you with them, so something like this didn't happen to anyone else, despite their warning that couldn't save everyone, as well as doubts that you could not handle the life.

You knew where the doubts came from, you'd been getting it all your life from everyone.

Being on the bigger side meant that the world was just that much crueler.

It never slowed you down though, you proved, always, that were more than capable. You were fast and strong, and years of sports meant that you had amazing reflexes, all skills that you now threw into hunting.

Sam and Dean were now proud to drag you along, but it didn't mean there were still times that this life sucked.

Taking another drink of scotch, you now watched the boys sitting back next to you, talking and sharing a laugh.

"Must be your shout by now Y/N." Dean said through a grin.

You shook your head. "You guys just won a whole lot! I'm not shouting anything."

"Damn," Dean mumbles through a wink. "You don't miss anything."

You grin. "Very rarely Dean, now buck up and shout a round."

Dean's round was shots. The three of you clinked your glasses together before downing them.

Sam screws up his face. "Man, what did you do, pick the worst available option?"

"Gotta admit Dean, that was pretty bad." You followed it by the last mouthful of your own drink.

"Well, the worse they are, the drunker you get." Dean said simply. "And after that hunt-"

"We know." You and Sam said together.

Dean grins and orders another round.

This had been what you needed, a night away from everything that happened, long overdue, but the feeling of happiness soon began to deflate a little, both Sam and Dean's eyes beginning to wander.

Sighing inwardly, you rolled your eyes and drew away a little. You didn't want to let it bother you, everyone had a type after all, but it would be nice to receive some appreciation now and then.

Sure enough, it wasn't long before you were left at the bar alone.

Swirling the last of your drink, you decide tonight you would head home early, get another room for yourself.

The boys didn't pay attention as you finished your drink and got up to leave, too interested in what they were doing.

However, as you head for the door, two very different guys stop you.

Your gaze narrowed on them, telling straight away that they were trouble.

One of them grins. "Looking for a good time doll?"

You resist the urge to gag. "No thanks, I'm good."

His grin doesn't falter, his friend nodding as if in encouragement. "Come on doll, you ain't going to get much better than us."

You didn't bother to hide your anger or disgust this time. "One, don't call me doll, I am not a play thing. Two, you have no right to assume who I can get. Three, no means no arsehole, so get out of my way before I make you."

The two men just blinked, so instead, you just huffed and went to shove past them, but the first reached out and grabbed your arm.

"Now hang on just a minute doll, we-"

He was cut off as your fist connected with his nose, blood spraying everywhere as he buckled over with a screech, sending the bar into silence.

The second guy didn't like this, throwing his drink at you before launching forward. Luckily in his drunken state, he was slow, so you wasted no time in kicking him between his legs.

"That's what you get for being sexist, judging pigs." You spat and stormed out before anything else could be said.

No one followed.

The cold air did little to south your anger, which you knew was partly fueled by the alcohol, but being partly wet, the air bit at your skin.

In that moment, you were glad it wasn't a far walk to the motel, you weren't sure that you would be able to handle it, both the cold and frustrated emotions that were going through you.

The receptionist at the motel almost didn't give you a room because of the way you looked, but the furious look in your eye must have convinced him otherwise.

The door slammed shut behind you and you instantly made your way to the bathroom, turning on the shower.

Usually, a shower helped, it would clear your head of those negative thoughts, but those two idiots had really done your head around.

You're not good enough.

That one always made you blanch.

No one will ever accept you.

You refused to let the tears come.

You're too big, no one could ever want a fat person.

That one made you curse, swearing until your hands were shaking and your voice cracked. You needed a distraction and you needed it now.

Your shirt on the bathroom floor got your attention, mixed with blood and beer, and you truly hated the smell of beer.

You focused on cleaning it.

It worked, your mind slowly coming back to a slightly blurred reality, the alcohol leaving a buzz in your system. Once you were happy enough, you rung the shirt out and threw it over the sink, now focusing on cleaning yourself.

The monotony of it, the routine, was the last straw, settling you back to being comfortable.

You left the shower with just the towel wrapped around you, your hair hanging in wet strands, and you went looking for the best spot to be able to dry your shirt, after all, all your things were still in one of the other rooms, and you didn't really want to go anywhere near them tonight.

You had just settled on the table being the best option when a noise got your attention, causing you to stiffen.

There was a bang against the wall, quickly followed by giggling and muffled voices, that quickly turned into noises you didn't really want to be hearing, hence why you'd gotten the room further away possible from Sam and Dean.

It brought it all back up.

With a loud curse, you pelted your wet shirt at the wall, causing the noise to momentarily stop, before continuing, which made you sink onto the end of the bed with a heavy sob.

Your hands clenched in the towel as you tried to control it, drawing in deep breathes. You couldn't show it, even though it was only you here, you knew that if you let it go, it would consume you for several days, and with that, came questions you just didn't want to answer.

You buckled over yourself, just trying to make it all go away, trying to drown out the suddenly increasing noises from the next room. All those negative thoughts were coming louder now, and you grabbed handfuls of your hair, tugging it, hoping the pain would make it go away as tears dripped down your cheeks.

A knock on your door barely made you move. You didn't want company and right now, you didn't really care who it was.

The knock came again, but you still ignored it, hoping that whoever it was, would go away.

You quickly found out you weren't that lucky.

"Are you alright darling?"

You jumped to your feet and would've gone instinctively for your gun had the towel not started to slip and you desperately clutched it to you.

"What are you doing here Crowley?" You almost squeaked and hurriedly wiped your eyes, your other hand holding the towel up.

"Given my previous question, I thought that would be obvious?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You blushed heavily. You'd only met Crowley a few times, it was someone that Sam and Dean had been quick to warn you about, but he had been nothing but charming. Not that you hadn't seen his cruel side, but it was never directed at you, and, in all honesty, didn't terrify you, no matter what stories Sam and Dean told, or you had seen yourself. Everybody just had a bad side.

"I hardly see it as appropriate." You said with a frown. "Especially considering that I'm not dressed. Sam and Dean are at a bar nearby if you want them."

You turned to move back into the bathroom, going to at least put your pants back on.

"I am well aware of where Moose and Squirrel are, it was how I found you here." Crowley said lightly, making you still. "Which I don't blame you, the bar was hardly a place appropriate for one such as you."

Your anger returned as you wheeled around to face the demon. "Oh? And why is that?"

Crowley looked unfazed, just raising an eyebrow. "A dirty bar is hardly fitting for one of your caliber, especially with all those sleazy men around, which, by the way, the boys proudly told me how you dealt with two of them."

The anger fizzled a little and you tilted your head.

He took it as his chance to continue. "Personally, if I had been there, I would've done more that break ones nose and render the other unable to walk, purely for your honor of course, but they were strong enough to send a message."

You were suddenly uncomfortable under the demon's gaze and edged a little backwards to the bathroom door again. "I was only doing what I had to. They had the nerve to insult me and try and sleep with me, hardly a winning combination in my book." You eyed the space between you and door, although you knew it meant little against the demon who could appear wherever he wanted. "What do want Crowley?"

"Well, I had simply wanted to join you for a drink." He shrugged nonchalantly, although with the trade mark smirk. "But given the evening you've just had, I think something better is in order."

"Better?" You weren't really sure you wanted to know.

He nods, his gaze boring into you. "A night anywhere you want."

You stared, realising what he was saying. "You...you want to go on a date with me?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

The 'yes' was out of your mouth before you even realised it and you had to break away from his stunned gaze as you bit your lip, edging even closer to the door, as the emotions threatened to overtake again. "I don't need pity Crowley."

"I'm a demon love, I don't do pity." He said with a smile, which quickly faltered at your look. "This isn't some play if that is what you are thinking."

You sigh, your stomach twisting as your mind worked too fast for what you wanted to deal with. "Look, I appreciate it, I do, but, I hardly think anything is appropriate when I've got a few drinks in my system and I'm upset. Not to mention, no offence, but you are a demon."

"And you are interested." He said bluntly. "If you weren't, you would've kicked me straight out."

You wanted to argue with that, you really did, but in that moment, you didn't want to find your voice, shooting him a slightly irritated look after you tried a couple of times. "Say I was, I hardly have something to wear besides old jeans and a shirt that is soaked and still smells like beer no matter how much I scrubbed the damned thing."

"Where are your other clothes?"

You an embarrassed wave in the general direction of Sam and Dean's rooms. "In the room I was meant to be sleeping in until I-until Sam and Dean-" You cut yourself off, not wanting to go back down that path.

Crowley made a small noise of understanding and you looked back at him, you realised he was giving you a very slow look up and down.

Your face went red and you stirred restlessly under his gaze, holding the towel just that bit tighter. "What are you doing?"

His eyes finally dragged back up and met yours with a casual grin. "Just getting your size darling."

You yelped as he clicked his fingers and you suddenly found yourself standing there in a very comfortable and fitting red dress.

You looked down at yourself before returning your gaze to his, who you couldn't help but note looked smug and rather proud of himself. "What is this?"

"I believe it's called a dress," He said with a grin and continued before you could respond. "And you look stunning by the way."

Warmth flooded your cheeks again and you stare at yourself, briefly noting that your hair had been dried and tied up too. "Thanks." You mumble. "You really want to do this?"

"My dear, I am not nice to everybody. If I didn't want to, I would not be here."

You snort with amusement. "Really? I hadn't noticed. I'm amazed you put up with Sam and Dean." Sighing, you suddenly frowned as you stared at the wall you had thrown your shirt at earlier, having barely realised that the noises had stopped.

"It's not much fun to listen to when you are not involved."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Although you couldn't help the smile that crossed your lips. "Well...alright, but no catches."

"Why would there be a catch darling?" Crowley asked with a raised eyebrow. "I want to take you out. You deserve more than to just be left to walk home alone on your own after two men practically assaulted you in a bar. If Sam and Dean hadn't spoken so fondly of how you'd handled it, I would've taken care of it myself." There was still a slight hesitation though and he could clearly see it, so he holds out his hand. "Come on love, let's go show the world just how sexy you are."

You laugh, your first genuine laugh since it had all happened.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I can't say no to that." You said with a grin, although not entirely unaware of how self conscious you felt, rocking a little on your feet.

Crowley was having none of it, closing the distance between the two of you and taking your hand.

Without another word, you found yourself at a seaside bar and you couldn't stop the smile that grew.

"Lucky guess?" You asked, not letting go of his hand.

"You struck me as a beach girl." He replied with a grin.

You shook your head. "Ocean maybe, but not the beach. Too much sand."

"Bit hard to go for a swim in the ocean without the sand love."

"God no." You gasped. "I just like the view, it's peaceful. You wouldn't catch me dead swimming out there, too many dangers."

"Says the hunter." He said with a chuckle.

"It's very different Crowley." You said with a mockingly serious tone. "At least hunting I can more often than not see what's coming."

Still chuckling, he led you to what was clearly the best table at the place, and you stared out over the ocean with wide eyes, the inky blackness reflecting the stars above and the sound of water calmed whatever nerves were left.

You wanted to be surprised by the fact that you enjoyed yourself, but you knew you weren't. Something that you were never were around Crowley was afraid, and he was ever the gentleman, listening to whatever tale you told with attention, and not saying anything when your gaze was drawn back out over the glittering ocean.

It was unbeknownst to you, but Crowley was enamoured. There was a strength in you he had never seen before, in anyone, let alone a human, and it had him more than curious at first, not quite understanding until the first time he saw you hunt.

You'd been through about 3 months of training with the boys, and you weren't missing out on a chance to hunt a vampire nest, a deep seated hatred burning in your stomach whenever you thought about them. Sam and Dean had tried to talk you out of it, but you were having none of it.

Crowley had watched with rapt fascination, hidden away of course, having simply told himself that he was here to see what new hunter was being drawn into the mix. He watched as that hatred came out on the vampires, your every move precise as you seemed to be aware of what was not only in front of you, but around you, a common sensory trait amongst experienced hunters, but you used it like you had been doing it your whole life.

You had saved Sam and Dean's life that day.

They'd been reckless, gotten separated from you, and you later found them, Dean unconscious and Sam struggling to fight one as the vampire pinned him to the wall. Almost impatiently, you took it out, breathing deep as your body slowly realised that the danger was over.

You couldn't possible have known that it was Crowley that helped you home that night, after you'd left the boys and hit the closest bar, you couldn't have known about the tears you shed or the tale you told him, and you definitely couldn't have known that, in that moment, Crowley swore to himself that you would remain as untouched as possible.

He'd been furious when he had heard what had happened tonight, and then impressed and amused when Sam and Dean had told him about it, before he finally realised that he was very concerned about the state you left in, you weren't hard to read.

"Crowley?"

His gaze moved to yours as he realised he'd been elsewhere, but you had that kind smile that he loved, one that he quickly returned. "Sorry darling, what is it?"

"I was wondering if we could go for a walk?" Your gaze moved back to the water.

"I thought you weren't fond of sand?"

You shrug. "It's a nice night for a walk."

He grins. "Alright, why don't I meet you down there? I'll get us some drinks we can walk with."

"You won't find me saying no." You said as you stood, continuing that warm smile that you were reluctant to let slip from your face.

Crowley nods and lets you walk off, casually weaving between the tables and stopping for a moment at the stairs that led down to the beach.

That was when the giggles got your attention.

Your gaze turned towards the two women sitting not far from you, who's giggles only got stronger when you looked over.

Sighing, you slipped of your shoes and stepped down onto the sand, heading for the waters edge as your free hand unraveled your hair.

Crowley knew as soon as he saw you that something was wrong, glancing at the two women as he walked past before heading down onto the sand. He stilled for a moment, staring at you. You were turned away from him, facing the water, but you were bathed in a soft glow from the moonlight, the dress blowing softly around your feet as the waves washed back and forth, and your hair cascading down your shoulders, reminding him of the ocean itself.

"If you wanted to be poetic love, you are doing a fine job." He said softly as he approached. You gave him a small smile as he handed you your drink, but otherwise remained silent, your gaze on the distant horizon.

Crowley's eyes glanced back at the two bar, still just making out the two women who was still giggling. He stepped forward just a little more, enough that you could see his hand raise as he went to click his fingers.

You didn't react.

"This is usually the part where most people stop me." Crowley said, a little confused and curious at the same time.

"Some people are just shallow." You replied softly. "It is their decision, just as the decision to punish them is yours."

He tilted his head. "Hmmm, something a little more humorous then?"

With a snap, there was loud squeal, and you couldn't help but look over to see both the girls completely drenched.

Your smile returned, even as you shook your head. "Thank you Crowley."

"You know I would do anything for you."

"I don't want you to." At his confused look, you smile at him. "I just want you to be you. I know you don't want me to change, so why should I expect any different from you?"

Crowley raises an eyebrow. "You realise you are saying that to a demon love?"

"I am saying that to the King of Hell." You confirmed with a nod. "And, despite what I've heard, I'm am not, and could never, be afraid of you."

Your words touched him more than he could ever say, and he just stared at you in wide eyed wonder.

You giggled, placing your drink and shoes in one hand and slipping your other back into his. "I believe we were going for a walk."

The two of you walked along the beach talking, hands still entwined.

"You've surprised me Y/N," Crowley said after a moment of silence. "All you've been through and you are not angry at the world, or bitter for that matter."

You give a small smile. "Well, not entirely, as you've seen, it does build up, but I do have ways of venting."

"Oh?"

You let your grin widen a little and step away from him a bit, letting your shoes drop into the sand.

Testing the weight of the empty glass in your hand, you look out at the ocean, causing Crowley to raise an eyebrow, before you yelled, loud, tossing the glass as hard and as far as you could.

There was resounding plop as it disappeared into the water.

Crowley laughed. "Well, that is certainly one way of dealing with it I suppose."

Your grin was wide but you couldn't stop the heat creeping into your cheeks. "Sport used to be good for it, but as I got older, I had less time for it. I guess now hunting is somewhat good for it too, but I think it may be a little dangerous to think like that."

"Why would you say that?"

You shrug. "Seems like a dark path if you go too far. I mean look, one shit night and I'm already on a date with the King of Hell."

He tilts his head, making sure to keep his expression blank. "You could've said no."

But you shook your head. "I didn't want to. I may have seemed reluctant at first, but that's just who I am. I'm not good at dealing with certain things."

Crowley stepped closer to you again, his gaze soft. He knew that if any of his demons, or anyone he knew, saw him in that moment, they would think he'd gone soft, unable to rule, but he had little doubt of what he was getting into. "No one's perfect love."

"And I'd never admit to being so." You stare back out over the ocean, aware he was approaching, but not wanting to admit to yourself just how far that this could go. "Just as you could never convince me, I wouldn't let it."

You were surprised when Crowley's hand gently cupped your cheek, turning you to face him.

"You are perfect just as you are, no matter what flaws you think you have love."

Without letting you say a word, he pressed his lips to yours, your eyes drifting shut, accepting the kiss. Crowley's other hand rested on your other cheek, angling it better to deepen the kiss. Your body buzzed, hands holding tight as you let yourself become lost in it.

A low, possessive growl rumbled through him, his hands burying in your hair. It should've scared you, should've been truth sinking in that he wasn't human, but instead, you sighed into the kiss, content and feeling needed for the first time in your life.

Crowley broke the kiss and rested his forehead on yours. "I hope that wasn't too much?"

You smile. "No. I think it was just enough."

His eyes burned into yours, a look that told you he wasn't going to let you go easily, but it just made your smile widen, your arms sliding up around his neck and burying your head against his chest.

"I don't want to go anywhere." You said, your voice muffled against him.

Crowley's arms wrapped tightly around you, kissing the top of your head. "Good."

You hum a little in appreciation, letting a peace settle over you. "Crowley?"

"Yes love?"

"Can we stay here a bit longer?"

"We can stay here as long as you need love."

You sigh again and close your eyes, letting his warmth surround you and listening to the sounds of the ocean. Crowley would occasionally place soft kisses into your hair, but apart from that, he just held you to him, a little in disbelief still at your honesty to him.

You were happy.


	2. Cookies

You padded around the kitchen in your pyjamas, happily tapping your feet in time with the music playing from your phone.

The bunker had been a nice reprieve from life on the road, and it was harder to tell who was enjoying it more, yourself or Sam and Dean. You were pretty sure it was them, after all, they hadn't really had a home before, where as you had just missed the comforts.

That, and they discovered that you loved to bake.

The first time you'd put a freshly baked cake down in front of them, you thought that Dean wasn't going to stop staring at you, those green eyes wide and amazed, as if he was seeing you for the first time.

It was just a hobby that you had picked up over the years, you never really thought much of it, it just made you feel better when you did it, helped you relax, and knowing that others enjoyed it was a bonus.

Now it seemed you would be taking requests. Dean for pie and Sam for anything that was slightly healthier. You shook your head every time they did it because you couldn't make any promises, you just baked what you wanted to bake.

Today, the boys had left on a hunt the night before so you were taking full advantage of having the bunker to yourself, hence the pyjamas, and had decided while you ate your breakfast, that you were going to make cookies. It wasn't that you hadn't wanted to go on the hunt, you just wanted some time alone for a while, everything seeming so much like a mad rush that you needed settle.

It didn't take you long to get the basics done for the cookies, having done them countless times over the years, one of your favourites things to cook, and, being undecided between what flavour to do, you decided to just make two batches, knowing that neither Sam nor Dean would complain.

You got the first batch in the oven and were placing the second on the baking tray when a song started to play, making a smile cross your lips.

You'd been seeing Crowley for just over a year now, and while the relationship was far from perfect, you couldn't recall being happier. Sam and Dean knew you were in a relationship, but you and Crowley made sure that they didn't know it was with him. They had tried to follow you a couple of times, but being in a relationship with a demon had its perks.

This song just summed it all up perfectly for you.

You found yourself getting into it, something you normally didn't let yourself do too much, your hips swaying to the beat as you mouthed the words, not holding back the smile.

Engrossed in the song and what you were doing, you didn't notice Crowley pop into the room. If Sam and Dean knew he could do that, they probably would've kicked you out, having changed the warding slightly so that he could. He only did it when the two of you could be alone of course, something that would be discussed via text, but there was always a niggling worry that he would accidently do it one day, you didn't like going behind Sam and Dean's back like this.

He knew you were alone today and knew that you were up, your 'Good morning sunshine' text always letting him know when you were awake for the day. He was still wasn't sure about the nickname, but the morning message always left him grinning.

He had had every intention of surprising you this morning, but as he appeared, ready to announce himself, he found that was the surprised one.

The song didn't even register at first, his eyes locking onto you, your hips swaying to the song as you spun the tray on your hand, swaying over to the oven to place the tray inside. It was only as you turned back that he realised you were mouthing along and he listened to the words, a slow smile crossing his lips as he buried his hands in his pockets to watch you.

You attention had partly turned to cleaning up, grabbing the spoon and pretending it was a microphone as the song got into its final moments, before throwing it across the kitchen, where it landed with a cling in the sink as you broke into giggles.

"For someone who was insistent they didn't dance," Crowley's voice made you just, spinning to face him, your face flushing. "That was certainly something love."

It was clear you were desperately trying to ignore your embarrassment. "I've asked you not to do that Crowley."

"And I usually don't." He countered, smiling. "However, if I get a show like that every time, I think I will." His smile turned into a smirk. "Especially if it's that song."

The noise you made was slightly strangled, caught between embarrassment and something that you didn't want to admit his look was doing to you.

You shrugged it off, deciding to try and ignore it, grabbing the bowl and heading for the sink, turning you back on him. "That was just something I picked up from late night youtubing. I just liked the song."

His growl rumbled through you as he pulled your back to him after you'd placed the bowl in the sink, causing you to shiver as his lips brushed against your ear. "You shouldn't play coy with me love, it gets me worked up."

You swallowed hard. The two of you had been taking things slow, but this, along with several other incidents, were making you want to throw caution to the wind.

Crowley never helped either.

You barely contained a whimper as he nuzzled you slightly before pressing his lips to your ear and moving down to your jaw in deliberate slowness, smirking when pressed back against him. One of your arms came up and looped around his neck, making him growl again and his arms curling tighter around you, keeping you in place.

"Just say the word love." He breathed as his teeth scraped against your neck making you unable to hold back the whimper this time, fighting with yourself over whether you were ready for this.

Crowley had been more than patient. You hadn't been overly sure of what his reaction would be when you originally told him you wanted to wait, almost certain that as demon, he would expect it, but whatever it was about you that drew Crowley to you in the first place, made him promise to do nothing until you were ready.

Not that it meant he didn't offer temptation at any given opportunity.

His teeth scraped a little harder against your neck, making you gasp, your head slipping back onto his shoulder as his lips and tongue soothed the skin. You knew from experience that he was more than happy to leave his mark on you and that there was no hesitation whenever he could.

Crowley hadn't had this intention when he arrive this morning, having just wanted to spend time with you before Hell became crazy for the day, but after watching you dance like that to that song, he was more than willing to push it.

His fingers dug a little into your, keeping you still as he pressed his own against you, his teeth biting harder.

You moan and your resolve snaps. "Crowley..."

He spun you fast, pinning you against the bench as his lips clashed with yours in a needy, heated moan, one hand knotting in your hair, the other wrapping securely around your waist so there was absolutely no way you could move.

You clung to him desperately, the high unlike anything you had experienced before, a part of you still fighting to focus, to come down, but Crowley had no intention of letting that happen, his tongue brushing against your lips.

You let out a sudden gasp as he tugged your hair back, both letting you breath and so he could earnestly attack your throat with heavy kisses, leaving you panting desperately, his other hand starting to curl under your shirt.

The moment was shattered as your phone suddenly rang, cutting off whatever music that had been playing, Crowley tensing and you looking over to it, blinking a little blankly as you found yourself dragged back to reality.

"Don't answer it." He growled and returned to your throat.

You whimper, conflicted. "What if it's Sam and Dean needing help?"

"They can manage."

The phone stopped after a little bit, earning a pleased sound from him, before it just as suddenly started again.

You caught his hand as he clearly went to make the phone disappear, giving a breathy laugh at his dark look and you kissed him lightly. "I'm sure you can wait five more minutes."

Huffing and stepping away with a roll of his eyes, he lets you move to your phone.

"Oh." Your face fell as you saw the caller ID, earning a frown from Crowley. "Um...give me a minute." You went to step out of the kitchen before glancing back. "Don't let my cookies burn."

He didn't have a chance to respond as you stepped out into the hall, where he gave a strangled groan, shifting uncomfortably. He stepped over to the over to distract himself, even though he didn't need to eat, he couldn't deny that they smelled bloody good.

"Hey Mum."

Crowley froze when you said that, tilting his head to listen closer.

"I know I promised to call last night, but you...you know I do funny hours. It was too late-"

He heard you sigh as your mother began a rant on the other end of the phone. You hadn't spoken of them much, but when you did he could see the pain it caused, having technically gotten into the hunting life not under the best circumstances.

"I've told you, I'm fine, I'm with friends-"

He stepped closer to the door, noting that you were clearly trying to stay calm.

"I know you haven't met them-"

"I'm not in trouble Mum."

"I...I can't tell you..."

"Mum, please don't cry-"

"Of course I don't hate you-"

The roll of emotion coming off you made Crowley's chest ache. He'd made a promise to protect you, and if that meant from yourself too, then so be it.

"Darling, why don't you put your mother out of her misery?" He asked, joining you in the hall, asking it loud enough that your mother would hear.

Your look was both pleading and half terrified and you quickly tried to cover it up. "What? It was nothing Mum, just the TV-"

"That's a nice way of treating me isn't it?" He asked with a smile, taking the phone off you before you could react and putting it on speaker. "Mrs Y/L/N. I am Crowley MacLeod, your daughter's partner."

You gaped at him, not entirely believing that he was doing this.

"Partner?" Your mother asked in disbelief.

"Oh yes, it's a wonderful story, I'll tell you all about it in an hour or so." He winked at you, making your face turn pale.

"Crowley..." You warned, desperately wanting to take the phone back but not wanting to give anything away to your mother.

"I'm sorry love," He said, his grin widening. "But I can't just let your mother sit and sound so heartbroken like that. I know you wanted to surprise them but-"

"Y/N! You're coming!"

You sigh, knowing you had no choice now, but you fold your arms to glare at Crowley. "Yeah...surprise I guess."

Your mother started crying again and you quickly had to end the call, promising that you weren't joking and that you would be there soon before you could turn your full attention to the still grinning Crowley.

"That was uncalled for." You said hotly.

He raised an eyebrow. "It was breaking your heart to lie to her."

"You're a demon, you're not meant to stop people lying!"

"You know I don't work that way for you love."

"I was doing it for a purpose Crowley!" You snapped, although he was completely unfazed by your anger. "As far as anyone is concerned, I'm a damned suspect I my Aunt's case, meaning all of you are too. Plus, I've been trying to keep them as far from this life as possible! I don't need crap hunting them too!"

"Love, I'm the King of Hell-"

"You're an ass and had no right to make that decision for me." You seethed, making him pause a little.

"I will be perfectly civil." He promised. "And, as I was saying, I am the King of Hell, I will make sure that no harm befalls you or your family."

Your nostrils flared. "And?"

He sighed, burying his hands in his pockets, breaking away from your gaze. "I'm sorry love."

"I'm going to pretend you meant that." You quipped, striding past him to the kitchen, checking your biscuits, which luckily weren't burnt.

"I did mean it." He frowned after you, following. "Just because I am a demon doesn't mean I can't apologise earnestly."

You snort, focusing on shifting the cookies to a cooling rack. "I hope you are going to try and least act human in front of them."

"Naturally."

You sigh, leaning against the bench for a moment before looking up at him. "I never thought I'd be introducing you to my parents."

"I'll try and not take that as an insult."

"You know what I mean Crowley."

Almost an hour later, you found yourself anxiously walking towards your parents' house, your hand holding tightly to Crowley's.

"I can't believe you're wearing a suite." You huff.

"I always wear suites love."

"I know but...you know what? I don't even know."

Crowley smiles and gives your hand a squeeze. "Relax love, I'm not going anywhere."

You let out a slow breath. "I shouldn't have answered the damned phone."

He chuckles. "I told you so."

You didn't get a chance to comment further as the front door flew open, your mother screaming your name and practically flying down the steps to you.

Unable to help it, you let Crowley go and rush to meet her, throwing your arms around each other.

"Oh my baby girl." She weeps. "My darling baby girl."

"I'm okay Mum." You voice wavered. "Just as I said I was."

Your mother pulled away to look at you, her eyes shining, stroking your arms as if to make sure. "Oh sweetheart..." Her gaze moved to Crowley, whose hands had moved to his pockets, watching on a little sheepishly. "And you must be Crowley."

"Yes Mrs Y/L/N, I-" He was cut off as your mother hugged him too and looking to you, confused, unsure of what to do as you bit back a laugh.

"You've been helping my little girl." She sobbed. "I can't thank you enough."

"No need to smother then honey." You looked up and smiled at your father in the doorway. "They're not even in the house yet."

"Dad." You went to him and hugged him tight, something he returned without hesitation. "I...I'm sorry I've been making you worry."

"It's okay sweetheart, we know it hasn't been easy." He pushed you away to smile at you. "You're looking well, that's all that matters."

Crowley cleared his throat, your mother still holding him tightly as she continued to weep, awkwardly patting her back and looking to you for help.

Your father chuckled and you couldn't control the giggle this time, and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. "Y/M/N, honey, do I get to meet Y/N's significant other or do you intend to hug him all day?"

"Sorry," She mumbled, breaking away and wiping her eyes, giving Crowley and apologetic look. "It's just...I'm so relieved that she's alright."

Crowley smiled, casting you a fleeting grateful glance. "It's alright. I can't imagine what you've been through."

You watch your mother steps back and then stare as both your parents give Crowley a look that only a parent could give, making your stomach twist a little.

"You're a bit old for her aren't you?"

"Dad!"

"What?"

Crowley just raises an eyebrow. "I didn't realise age was a factor when two people cared for each other?"

Your father took a moment before he beamed. "Good answer." He stepped forward and shook Crowley's hand. "The name's Y/F/N."

You roll your eyes and sigh. This was weird and you weren't sure you wanted to get used to it.

Inside was even stranger. This was your childhood home, something you never thought that you'd be sharing with Crowley. Pictures of you and your family were on the walls and you saw Crowley eye a particular one of you in a Halloween costume when you were about eight, dressed as a little devil.

"Shut up." You mumble to him as he gives you a look with a raised eyebrow, taking his hand to quickly pull him away from the photos.

"That was one of her favourite Halloween's." Your mother said happily, not missing the exchange. "She always had a fascination with the horror side of things, although we did get her to go as an angel once, she was so adorable. Her favourite one by far though was the year she convinced us she could be Dracula. I don't think I've ever had to make, or clean up, so much fake blood..."

You subconsciously tensed and Crowley quickly tugged you over to the lounge, sitting, and his arm resting on your knee in comfort.

"Would you like some tea or coffee?" Your mother asked, still looking like she wanted to burst into happy tears, but holding it back.

"Coffee, please, black." Crowley answered as you went to say no.

"Tea please Mum." You mumbled, knowing you were going to need something a lot stronger after all this.

"You need to relax Y/N." Crowley said to you quietly as both your parents disappeared to the kitchen.

"I can't." You said through gritted teeth. "This feels so wrong."

"I'm here if something happens." He purposefully takes your hand, entwining your fingers and kissing your hand. "Just look at it as visiting."

"I've been on the run since-"

"I know."

"And there's no way they could possibly understand-"

"I know."

"Yeah but-"

"Y/N." Crowley waits till you look at him, his gaze understanding. "I know love, but if you don't settle down, you are going to give something away."

He was right and you knew it, letting out a short breath, it didn't chase the feeling away, but it eased it a little. "Thank you Crowley." You leant over and kissed him, just as your parents stepped back into the room.

Your mother seemed unfazed as she placed the drinks in front of you, but your father eyed you both as your face flushed.

"How long have you been seeing each other?" You father asked, his tone careful.

"A little over a year." You answered quickly after seeing the glint of mischief in Crowley's eyes, who went to answer first, instead sending you a smirk.

"Huh, I don't suppose-"

"Y/F/N, don't embarrass her dear, we've only just met him." Your mother cut in, shooting your father a slightly disapproving look.

Your father grins. "What? I simply want to know if there's any grandchildren coming."

You choked on your tea as you'd gone to take a sip, coughing harshly, Crowley's hand quickly moving to rub your back. You'd had an idea that this would come up, but you hadn't expected it so quickly and certainly weren't expecting it to be so brazenly asked.

"No." Crowley answered for you, his hand not leaving your back. "It's not really on the cards at the moment."

"Oh?" Your mother asked, trying not to look slightly disappointed as you purposefully stared at the floor as she looked between the two of you. "I would've thought-"

"Mum, please don't." You practically begged, wanting the ground to swallow you whole. "This is not the time, I mean, it's only been a year and, well..." He was a demon, you thought to yourself.

"It would be currently compromising to my position." You looked at Crowley as he finished your hanging sentence, a little amazed. "I'm a businessman before you ask, and at this current time, a family would be looked down upon, questioned whether I could handle the position or not."

Among other things, you thought and retook his hand.

"What kind of business are you in Crowley?" You knew that tone in your father's voice, having heard it often growing up. He only ever used it when he knew someone wasn't telling the truth.

"I wish I could say." Crowley said, unperturbed. "Unfortunately a large part of my company revolves around confidentiality, even Y/N only knows a few things. We do tend to revolve around debt a lot, if that helps anything."

You refrained from groaning and instead focused on your father, who was eyeing Crowley intently, suddenly making the anxious feeling return badly.

"How do the Winchesters fit into this?" Your mother asked, used to these situations.

"We work together from time to time." You had to hold back a laugh at that. "Which was, of course, how I met your daughter."

"Oh? Do you have a deal with these Winchester's then?" You didn't miss the inflection in your father's voice, making you give him an odd look.

Crowley didn't miss it either. "No. I occasionally need their help, just as they occasionally need mine. It's a mutual agreement."

Your mother interrupted your thoughts as you tried to work out what was going on. "Sweetheart, why don't you help me get some morning tea?"

"Um," Crowley squeezed your hand. "Okay."

You follow her into the kitchen, the unsettled feeling growing stronger, twisting in your stomach.

"He seems like a good man," She said, busying herself in the fridge. "Very career orientated."

"Err..." Good was never a word you would use to describe Crowley. "He's good to me, that's what matters."

Your mother nods, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "This is true..." She said it quietly and you looked at the worry on her face. "Are you happy?"

Carefully, you nod, unsure whether it was wise to elaborate.

Clearly, she had wanted you too. "Sweetheart..."

"I'm fine Mum, I promise." You said softly.

She sighed and the tears returned to eyes, but for a different reason this time. "Why did you run? We could've helped. We were so worried..."

"I was terrified." It was out of your mouth before you meant it to be. "I didn't know what else to do. Sam and Dean have helped me through it, as well as Crowley. They've been...what I've needed."

Your mother nods a little, but looks distant. "No one blames you sweetheart, the police found a lot of evidence...we just wanted to know what happened."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." You half laughed, regretting the words almost instantly at the look she gave you.

The gaze was full of love and kindness, one that was begging for you to just tell her, clear the air, and without warning, it all came back up and you started to talk, started to tell her everything, unshed tears streaking down your face, your body shaking, everything that had happened tumbling from you before you could stop it.

By the end of it, you were a sobbing mess and holding tightly to your mother and she gently rocked you through it, quietly shushing you and telling you it was going to be okay.

As you started to settle, you vaguely wondered why Crowley hadn't come looking for you, he usually did when you were upset, no matter what he was doing, just seeming to have an ability to tell.

The slow clapping made a bolt of cold shoot down your spine and you tensed.

"Aww, sweet pea, does it feel better to get it all off your chest?"

You broke away from your mother, you gasped, and stood protectively in front of her, staring at the man in the kitchen.

"Who the hell are you?" You snarled. "And what are you doing in my house?"

He chuckled. "I'd be polite to me sweet pea, lest I make this more painful than what it is already going to be."

"That doesn't answer my question arsehole." Your heart was pounding, desperately trying to remember where the knives were kept, having not felt right about bringing weapons into your parents' home.

"Get out of my house before I call the police!" Your mother suddenly spoke up behind you, pulling out her phone from her pocket. "Y/F/N!"

The smile left his face. "Oh, you don't want to do that."

There was the sound of shattering glass and you didn't have time to react as someone was tackling you to the floor, your mother screaming as she was taken down to, skidding along the floor.

Luckily, the angle had been bad and you made a dive for the knife drawer, pulling out the first one you grabbed and burying it into the man coming after you, who then just grinned, the sharp row of teeth breaking through.

"Fuck." You cursed and kicked him hard in the face, making him shriek as his nose shattered on impact and giving you enough time to make it back to the knife draw, pulling out another and burying it hard through his throat. It wasn't enough to kill him, but it would at least slow him down enough to give you time to-

The scream cut through the air and you found yourself thrown back, leaving a dent in the wall and two pairs of hands grabbed you, hauling you back to your feet and pinning you against the wall.

You gasped for air, winded, as the original vampire just looked on amused, your mother pinned under another one the floor, sobbing.

"You've got guts, I'll give you that much." He said lightly. "I guess that's why you make such a good hunter."

"If your beef is with me then let her go." You growl, glaring hard at the vampire, trying to ignore the other two holding you painfully tight and the other sounds of fighting coming from the lounge room.

"And that's precisely why I can't." He said, stepping closer to you. "See, you killed some of my family, and I've been waiting so patiently to be able to return the favour."

"No!" You struggled hard against the hold only to have him grab you hard by the jaw, stopping your struggles as his eyes burned and teeth started to bare.

"All she wanted was a child to call her own and so I told her to go and get it, I thought it would be easy, but apparently not, hunters already on her tail." He took in a deep breath, inhaling your scent. "When I found her I promised that I would hunt down whoever did it and make them pay. You bled at the scene sweet pea, did you know that? And when we taste the blood of anyone, we can track them to the ends of the earth and back, so then it was just a matter of biding my time, finding out more, and here we are."

You watch with wide eyes as glances back at your mother, your eyes watering with pain, your heart racing in terror realising you were helpless.

"How about I give her a taste of what's to come?" He asked.

He moved so quick that there was nothing you could have done, cracking your head back against the wall and biting down hard into your throat, the scream leaving you before you even registered what was happening, your legs kicking helplessly against the wall, fighting to get away from the pain.

The vampire broke away, your mother sobbing from the floor, and he grinned. "Kill her."

Your mothers scream was cut short as the vampire holding her wasted no time.

Your body was burning, your breathing heavy as you tried to ignore the pain, ignore what you had just seen, and your blood quickly soaking your clothes from the wound in your throat as he seemed to savour the taste on his tongue.

"So, my original assumptions were correct." He said slowly. "A pure blood...such a rare thing. I'm surprised your little demon hasn't claimed you yet."

You tried to think of everything that could possibly mean, but your mind wasn't working, your gaze locked onto the vampire.

He looked you up and down. "You're not my type but I could definitely have some fun with you before I kill you."

"I wouldn't recommend it." The two vampires were thrown off you, both their necks twisting with a sickening crack as you partly slumped to the floor, Crowley standing in the doorway, his red eyes locked onto the vampire, who was smiling.

You'd never seen Crowley's red eyes before but there was too much else going on to gage what your reaction was.

"What's the matter demon? Upset that I touched your girl?" The vampire laughed.

"Very." Crowley growled.

"Aww, but sweet pea hasn't had her answers yet." The vampire gave a pointed look at you, your hand shakenly covering the wound on your throat. "After all, a human can't possibly know what a pure blood is?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Crowley frown before seemingly, a slow looking of understanding crossed his expressed.

"You've got her right in your little pocket and yet you've done nothing about it, why is that I wonder?" The vampire continued to talk and you found your gaze locked onto a knife that had been scattered to the floor. "What? Worried you'll corrupt her?"

Crowley scowled. "You talk too much and that's coming from me."

"And yet, you haven't killed me."

Crowley blinked, his eyes returning to normal. "Oh no, that's not my pleasure."

The vampire didn't have time to react as you buried the knife into the back of neck, straight through the bone, and with a furious growl, you twisted, ripping the knife out one side as the vampire gasped, falling to his knees on the floor. The anger still consuming you, adrenaline pumping through your blood, you grabbed him by the hair and finished the job, hacking away until you could throw the head away from the body.

You breathed hard, hands shaking as you glared coldly at the head, hatred making your stomach twist over and over again, the blood pooling at your feet.

Your father staggered into the room, covered in blood but a large knife in hand, taking two seconds to take in the scene. "Y/M/N! No! No, honey, no!" He collapsed down next to your mother, broken sobs breaking from him.

The wound in your neck burned but right now it didn't matter. "You're hunter?" Your voice is hoarse, broken and you fight to get the words out.

He cradles your mother to him, his voice barely audible as he sobbed. "I was...a long time ago...then I met her...I promised..."

You shuddered and took and unsteady step, fighting against the blood loss.

Crowley took your arm. "Love, we need to-"

"And...you never thought to tell me!" You didn't fight against Crowley's grip, but right now, you wanted to deal with one problem at a time. "You didn't think...that it should've been my decision to make?!"

"I wanted to protect you! Both of you!" Your father yelled. "I wasn't to know-I couldn't have known that this was going to happen!"

"We could have defended ourselves!" You roared, stunning Crowley, who had never seen you this angry before. "You could've trained us! Trained Mum's family! No one would've died!"

"You're involved in it now Y/N." He said flatly, tiredly. "You know for a fact that that's all people do in the hunting life."

The tears started then, the adrenaline dying, your body aching and dizzy from loss of blood. "I want to try and stop that."

Your father refused to look at you, jamming his eyes shut. "Take her from here Crowley, she's seen enough."

"I-"

"And you!" The anger returned and you forcibly shook Crowley's arm off of you. "What the fuck is a pure blood?"

Crowley stared at you, clearly wanting to tell you but unsure of how. "Now is not the time love, you're bleeding badly, we need to get you help."

"I want to know Crowley." You growled, your voice breaking. "Tell me dammit."

"I will but-"

You shuddered, suddenly not wanting to deal with any of it. "Castiel!" You called angrily to the room, turning away from Crowley. "I need your help!"

"Y/N, we don't need feathers-"

"Shut it Crowley."

His hand rested on you and you stepped away, not looking at him. "Love...please..."

"Not...now..." You breathed. "I just...need to be...away...Castiel, dammit! Get your arse here now!"

Castiel appeared then, at first looking annoyed but then worried as he saw the state of you and what happened. "Y/N, what-"

"Just get me out of here." You snarled. "Now."

Castiel stood frozen for a moment, looking at you before his gaze moved to Crowley, who nods. Castiel steps over and takes your arm, both of you disappearing from the room.

Castiel had healed the wound on your throat and the rest of the bruising as soon as he'd appeared back next to Sam and Dean, who had asked questions that, at the time, you couldn't answer, your body too numb and too exhausted. They got you home as quick as they could.

Several weeks passed, Sam and Dean getting bits and pieces of what had happened from Castiel and Crowley, but never from you. You had gone almost completely silent to everyone, hardly saying a word and not once leaving the bunker. The boys left you to your grief, not knowing what to say to you to make it any better.

In that time, Crowley had only sent you one message.

I'm sorry.

It had made you cry for hours.

"I'll be fine guys." You said one afternoon as Sam and Dean discussed wanting to go on a hunt but were reluctant to leave you. "Go on the hunt. You don't need to be stuck with my miserable arse all the time."

"Y/N..."

"It's fine. I...I think I could use some time alone anyway."

They left, but reluctantly, making sure that you knew that Castiel would just be a call away, and you waving it off.

Headaches had been plaguing you and tonight was no exception, dimming the lights in the library until it no longer hurt your eyes, reading by the soft glow of a lamp and music playing from your phone once again.

It had been several weeks so you finally decided to reply.

I need to see you.

You knew it wouldn't take long, resting the cold glass of whiskey against your head, determined that the alcohol would kill the pain instead of pain killers, and sure enough, soft, cautious footfalls soon approached.

"Y/N..."

You closed your eyes for a moment just taking in a deep breath before looking at him. Crowley could see how broken you were but he didn't move, fear of what would happen if he did clear in his gaze.

Whimpering, you stand and go to him, wrapping your arms around him and burying against his chest, a hold he instantly returns, pulling you tightly to him in a comforting and protective hold.

No more tears would come but you didn't need that right now, you just needed Crowley to hold you, let you know that he was there, and you were pretty sure he needed that from you too.

He eyed the several open books on the table. You'd been researching and judging by the slight tremble in your body, you knew.

"I'm sorry love." He breathed into your hair. "If I'd realised, I could've-"

"I know." Your voice broke, making his arms tighten as you both fell and remained in silence.

The song changed on your phone and brought back a memory that seemed to be so long ago now, making you whimper slightly.

Crowley gives a soft gentle chuckle. "Still going to tell me it doesn't mean anything love?"

"Shut up."

Smiling, you both end up gently rocking to the song, the tension slowly easing from your shoulders, breathing deeper and a sense of calm washing over you.

It mightn't be alright now, but if Crowley was still willing to be here for you, then you knew it would be.


	3. Run

You were furious, but here you were having to keep your face mercilessly blank as you watched Sam 'cure' Crowley.

You had wanted to speak up, to scream at Sam and Dean, but a single look from Crowley stopped you. The boys still didn't know and he wanted to keep it that way, no matter what he was about to go through.

Dean had left you with Sam and it took everything you had not to break Crowley out of there, which you knew would be fairly easy given Sam's state.

"Don't you dare love." Crowley growled as Sam had left the room. "You stay there."

"Crowley-"

"No Y/N." He said firmly, holding your gaze. "I can get myself out of this, I don't need you in trouble when I cannot help."

"I can handle myself."

His smile was weary, but warm. "I know love, but please, for me, don't."

"Crowley, I can't lose you too." It all still felt so raw in your system and you weren't sure that you would ever be over it. Crowley had been there every step of the way so far, but it had all seemed worse when you had asked him what had happened.

He had hesitated. "Well...your father hadn't exactly stopped hunting, turns out he has a special gift for devils traps."

Crowley had been right to hesitate, you'd been furious, the anger that had initially been reserved for vampires alone, was now directed at your father too. Crowley didn't try to calm you down, he knew better, instead, when the anger once again gave away to tears, he pulled you close and let you settle.

Your father had tried to contact you, but you refused to answer, for now, the pain was still too close to the chest and you were determined to blame him for what had happened.

"I'm not going anywhere love." Crowley broke through your thoughts. "I hate asking you, but please, just don't do anything."

You sighed. "And what about the whole pure blood thing Crowley? How am I meant to deal with that if I lose you?"

"You won't lose me, but even if you did, you're smart, I'm sure you'll figure something out." He quickly glances back, signalling Sam's return. "Just look after Moose love, like you were asked too."

You didn't get to retort to that as Sam walked back into the room, so you folded your arms and sent a silent glare at Crowley.

Sam gives a small worried frown at your look. "He's not bothering you too much is he Y/N?"

Your gaze met Sam's briefly, something he saw changing his expression, making you look away. "Of course not, you know I'm not easily fazed."

"I'm clearly not trying hard enough then." Crowley smirks. "I'm going to have to try something more creative."

"Leave her alone Crowley." Sam growled. "She's been through too much lately to have to put up with your shit too."

"It's fine Sam." You said quietly. "You are virtually torturing him, I think he has a right to be snarky."

You felt Sam's gaze heavily on you, trying to work out the situation, but you ignored him, returning to your spot at the back of the room.

This whole pure blood thing was wearing on you. Crowley had quickly admitted that he'd had no idea, but it took him a long time to convince you that that wasn't why he was with you. He'd been patient because you were angry, however it didn't stop a bit of his own coming through.

"Don't you think I would have abused it by now?" He'd asked as you continued to rant, making you stop to glare at him. "Don't you think I would've claimed you, as that vampire put it so politely?"

You had huffed. "I know you're patient Crowley."

"One of my virtues." He said. "However it doesn't change the fact that I didn't know. Even if I had, I would-could not have used it against you. You mean too much to me for me to do that love."

This had brought on a fresh round of tears and honestly, you were sick of crying.

It wasn't long after this that that Sam and Dean had taken Crowley, although it had been long enough for you to notice that Crowley was being extra cautious around you, in a way that made your stomach twist in a way that you didn't want it to.

The break in Crowley's voice snapped you back and you watched as he glared pleadingly at Sam. 

"I deserve to be loved."

You bit your cheek hard, drawing blood, and you had to force your eyes away from him, your shoulders shaking against everything you wanted to say then and there.

The feeling didn't last long, Abaddon crashing into the room, throwing Sam out the window, before either of you had time to react before she rounded on you, flinging you hard against the wall.

"Two little hunters and the supposed King of Hell has to practically beg for help." She smirked as she looked at Crowley, who was glaring at her. "Aren't you just pathetic?"

You could tell Crowley was watching you out of the corner of his eye. "Abaddon. Didn't realise I was going to have the honour of a personal rescue."

"Rescue?" She scoffed. "Don't flatter yourself, I just wanted to take out my supposed competition."

You struggled hard against the invisible bonds holding you, desperately wanting to reach for the gun at your belt.

The movement drew Abaddon's attention and her eyes narrowed on you. "Well, well, if it isn't the little pure blood you're keeping in your pocket."

You stilled, heart suddenly hammering. No one was supposed to know.

Abaddon slowly strode closer, her expression amused. "Such a pretty thing, even for a bigger human. I wonder what he would do if I were to hurt you?"

You remained silent, holding her gaze as you grit your teeth, preparing for what was about to happen.

Abaddon held out her hand, a malicious glint in her eyes and you tensed, expecting pain.

But nothing happened.

Crowley was smirking as Abaddon looked confused. "Did you really think that I wouldn't have some plan to protect her?"

You could feel heat under your shirt and your eyes widen as you realised that the necklace he had recently given you, was no small trinket.

Small gifts weren't uncommon from Crowley, even after you had told him not to, that you didn't expect such things, but he had never stopped. It was common for after hunts that you would find small tokens, and you always appreciated it, sending him a thank you message.

You should have known this one was different.

Whatever enchantment was on it, despite still being pinned to the wall, was preventing Abaddon from hurting you.

"Not well enough, I assure you." She snarled and threw out her other hand, sending Crowley flying, but her attention was focused on you. "She's about to learn her place the hard way."

Abaddon let you drop to the floor, but you were still unable to move, despite your struggles. You didn't have time to brace yourself as she stood over you and stomped down hard on your leg, snapping it instantly.

You screamed against the pain, but you were unable to move, unable to do anything.

Abaddon was standing in front of you, blocking your view of Crowley who you could hear cursing over the thumping in your ears.

Vaguely, you realised that Abaddon was talking. "...every bone. Then we'll see who still has the gall to challenge me."

You saw her foot move to your other leg and you numbly tried to brace yourself through the pain already going through you.

Instead, a gun shot went off, causing Abaddon to stagger and glare around at your father with black eyes.

"How dare-"

Abaddon was cut off as Sam pelted a flaming bottle at her, setting her alight almost instantly as she shrieked and then vanished.

Your father rushed over to you as you whimpered, your body slumping as you were released from the hold, the pain hitting worse and tears springing to your eyes.

"Easy sweetheart, I got you." His hand rested on your shoulder and y8ou tried to move away, but it hurt to much. "Hey, don't-"

"Let me go." You groan. "You shouldn't be here."

"If I wasn't sweetheart, you'd still be under that bitches foot." He said calmly, his hands moving to your leg.

"No don't-" You screamed as he hardly touched it, feeling like someone was moving a knife deep within your leg.

"She told you not to touch her." Crowley spat from the other side of the room as Sam joined you. 

"I'm trying to look after my daughter, which is more than you could ever do." Your father spat right back.

"How dare you, she doesn't even want to-"

"Guys enough!" Sam cut over them. "We need to get Y/N to a hospital, that leg is bad."

You whimper again, barely holding in your sobs. "No."

"Sorry sweetheart, you're not going to have a choice in this." Your father said sternly and looks at Sam. "We're going to have to support this some way and then carry her out."

"It's called let me out and I can help." Crowley growled, struggling to try and free himself from the chair.

"Not a chance." Your father said quickly, even as Sam hesitated. "You've done enough harm to my daughter."

"He's done nothing to me." You hissed through the pain. "And you have no right to have a say in-"

"I'm your father, I have the only right to say who you are with." Their was anger in his voice as he stormed over to a chair and breaking it apart till he had the longest bit of wood. "I didn't want to believe it at first, but when I saw-" He shuddered and muttered something under his breath, returning. "I'm not going to get into an argument about this now Y/N."

"Hardly an argument when you don't let her speak." Crowley growled.

You closed your eyes, focusing on Sam's hand resting on your arm, using it to distract you from the pain.

"Like you would know, demon, just shut up about something you know nothing about." His hand returned to your leg, causing you to jump and cry out, the sobs breaking free.

"I know Y/N is in a lot of pain and yet all you seem worried about is me." Crowley continued.

Sam noticed the shake in your fathers hands and the set of his expression, and looked down at you, your face pale from the pain and your eyes jammed shut.

Leaning forward, he carefully took the wood from your father, who turned his glare on him. "Just keep her still, I can splint this."

You couldn't fight your fathers grip this time and you whimpered as Sam carefully manoeuvred around your leg.

"Love, look at me."

You half opened your eyes to find Crowley's gaze, ignoring your fathers fury.

"You're going to be alright love," He said calmly. "Moose will look after you, alright?"

You slowly nodded, not trusting your voice and wanting to believe that it was going to be alright, knowing that in this moment, Crowley was the only one that could convince you.

"Good, then you're going to go to the hospital. Get yourself looked after."

"But-"

"Y/N." His voice was almost pleading. "The only one that has to worry about me at the moment is me. Feathers isn't here to heal that leg, which means that the best spot for you is the hospital." 

You wanted a very different set of tears to leave you then and you could feel yourself trembling as you fought yourself.

But it had been the distraction you had needed, Sam finishing on your leg.

"Alright, let's get you up." He said gently. "This isn't going to be fun Y/N. I just want you to breath through it. You can do this."

You let both your father and Sam grip your arms and with an encouraging look from Crowley, you nodded to let them know you were ready.

Them actually moving you proved you weren't. You tried desperately to bite back the scream but as the pain bolted through you , it was near impossible.

Both of them were quick to grab your waist to try and keep your leg off the ground.

"It's okay, we got you." Sam said as your sobs returned.

"I can't do this." You whimpered, the pain bearing heavily down on you.

"Yes you can Y/N, don't you give in like that." Sam pleaded.

"It hurts so much." Your voice dropped to a mumble.

"If either of you lose her, your heads are mine and I will make sure that you both know what real pain is." Crowley growled from behind them as they headed for the door.

This made you chuckle weakly, but you were too exhausted to do much else, darkness taking you as they got you out the door.

You awoke very uncomfortable, wondering why for a moment, even more confused by the smell filling your nose.

Your eyes felt heavy, but it didn't take much, even through the blurriness, to make out the hospital room.

Groaning, you try and shift a little, only to find yourself limited by your leg. It was raised and in a plaster cast that you knew wasn't coming off for a while.

"Y/N?"

You jumped a little, looking around, your father in the doorway, smiling.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling?" He sat in the chair next to you, holding a cup of coffee.

"Crap." You croaked, weary of him but still too foggy to try and fight. "How long have I been out?"

"About twelve hours." He frowned a little. "They had to operate Y/N, it was a clean snap and it had to be bolted back together with about four plates. You'll be out for a while."

You sigh. "Can't they at least make the bed more comfortable?"

"If they did that, people would stay longer." He chuckles. "Don't worry, as soon as Sam's back on his feet we'll be on our way."

You tilted your head. "What happened to Sam?"

His face fell a little and a dark gaze passed over his expression. "Dean stopped him from closing the gates, Sam's body didn't like him stopping. He's in the next room."

You tried to get up, but was stopped short by the movement jarring your body, causing a hiss of pain to leave you.

"Easy sweetheart, I don't think it's a good idea to get up, let alone see Sam." Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, keeping you still.

"Why?" You snapped a little angrily.

"Because I won't let you." A voice growled from the door and you look up to meet Dean's dark expression.

Inwardly, you winced knowing what this was about, but outwardly, you held his gaze. "Dean, I hardly think-"

"Clearly not." He said harshly. "Did you ever intend to tell us about Crowley?"

"When the time was right, which it never was." You said it as sternly as you could, despite the rest of the reason of Crowley asking you not to. "And before you start making accusations-"

"He's tried to kill us Y/N!" Dean yelled and then quickly looked back out the door as a few people stared and he stepped inside the room, lowering his voice. "Tell me how you ever saw it as a good idea?"

"I've told you the explanation to this Dean." Your father said, although making sure he was between the two of you.

"She's too good to be bewitched." Dean growled. "But I would've thought that she was smart enough to know that dating a demon was a bad idea."

"Is that all you will ever see Dean?" You asked hotly. "The demon? You look past Castiel being an angel, even after all he did, you're still his friend."

"Cas is very different form Crowley." He stepped closer. "And there is no comparison you could make that would change my mind."

"I'm not trying to change your mind, I'm trying to make you see it the way I do." You sigh. "Both of you focus so much on the demon thing-"

"Because demons are inherently evil." Your father said quickly.

"And used to be human." You quipped. "Meaning those good things are still there, they don't just vanish when they become corrupted, it becomes their choice-"

"Are you serious?" Dean growled. "You're actually going to defend his manipulative hide?"

"Yes." You shifted in the bed, trying to get comfortable. "Because despite what you've seen, despite what you two both think, Crowley is not like that with me." You silence Dean with a glare as he went to argue. "I've thought about this Dean, extensively, and if you seriously think that it would make me turn on you and Sam, then you two clearly don't know me at all."

A silence fell as you and Dean stared at each other, Dean gaging how to react to what you said.

Your father wasn't buying it. "I don't know what bullshit he's been feeding you Y/N, but this is going to stop, whether you like it or not."

"I'd like to see you try." You said coldly, breaking away from Dean. "Because, despite what you said, you have no say in this."

"Bullshit I don't." He growled back. "I'll be damned if I'm going to sit back and let my little girl be corrupted by a demon."

Just then, a nurse walked into the room and raised an eyebrow at the tension between the three of you.

"Do you two boys mind leaving the room as I give her a check-up?" She asked politely.

Dean doesn't hesitate, storming out, while your father takes a moment, breathing deep, before following.

"Wow, and I thought my family was protective." She breathed and gives you a kind look. "Are you alright sweetie?"

"Yeah," You sigh and let the tension die from your shoulders. "I was expecting issues like this, although not quite to this extreme."

"They don't approve of who you're dating huh?" She asked with a kind smile. "Thought it was a bit harsh to call him a demon though."

You chuckle as she busies herself with checking you. "Well, it's not exactly false."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Bit of a bad boy huh?"

"You could say that." You grin affectionately. "But he looks after me, that's what matters."

"That's all you can ask for." The nurse shares your smile and nods in approval. "Sounds like a keeper if you ask me."

"I'm hoping so."

The nurse became a regular visitor in those long days at the hospital, which you were glad for as Dean or your father were particularly good company.

Especially when they wouldn't answer you about Crowley.

You knew he was alive, having little doubt they would've told you if he weren't, and you also knew that they still had him, otherwise he would have come see you. It was frustrating not know, but after a few fights, you bit your tongue, deciding patience was best.

An argument you had won was over the necklace that Crowley had given you, and neither your father nor Dean were happy about it. That necklace had stopped Abaddon from using her power to hurt you, and you had little doubt that she would still try.

It now stayed safely secured around your neck and you had every intention of making sure that it didn't move any time soon.

You were getting increasingly worried about Sam too, and knew that that was where most of Dean's unreasonableness was coming from. You weren't really allowed from your bed yet but it hadn't stopped you trying several times, usually getting caught by the nurse.

That was until the day came that you had to.

You'd been reading when a noise got your attention and you felt a familiar stir along the back of your neck, telling you of approaching danger. Cautiously, your eyes on the door, you leaned over and pulled the angel blade from your draw, holding it under the sheets as you pretended to keep reading.

Approaching footsteps, ones you didn't recognise, hurried along, one set stopping outside your door as others continued on.

You knew this was going to be bad, hardly in much of a condition to fight.

Sure enough, the angel that entered had the hide to smirk at you before continuing in, clearly enjoying that fact that you seemed helpless.

"You know, pure blood or not, you deserve this."

You rolled as he swung in, letting yourself fall painfully to the floor, blade in hand, and the angel cursed, rushing around. Using the slipper floor, you pushed yourself forward, the angel tripping over your casted leg.

Ignoring the pain, you twisted and dove forward, the angel trying to regain his feet before the blade struck home, light momentarily filling the room.

You cursed and pushed yourself away, your body hurting and you fought to push yourself up to a mostly standing position against the bed.

Your head snapped up as more footsteps approached, Dean skidded to a halt in your doorway, taking in the dead angel on the ground.

"You alright?" He asked, hurrying over to you to help you stay up.

"Peachy," You growled. "How the hell did the angels find us?"

"I got desperate." He replied. "Come on, let's get out of here."

You were stunned when you saw Sam on his feet and it clicked a little and you glared suspiciously at Dean, who avoided your gaze.

"You've certainly looked better." Sam said, taking your other arm so there was les pressure on your leg.

"And you look like nothing's happened." You growled, earning a cough from Dean.

"Let's just get out of here before more of the winged bastards show up." He continued, urging you on. "Then we can have the hugs and tears to catch up."

"I thought you weren't into chick flick moments?" You snort.

"Just keep in mind I'm still pissed at you." He said darkly. "So we'll see exactly how chick flicky it gets then."

"You can't be too mad, you still came to save me." You smirked at him, making him grumble as the three of you got out into the car park.

The trip back to the bunker was uneventful, something you were glad of as you sat at an awkward angle in the backseat, your leg stretched out. You knew being in the bunker was going to be better than the hospital, but not by much.

Your father was waiting as you pulled in. "What the hell happened?"

"Angels found us." Dean said as he came around to help you out of the back, your father hurrying over too. "We had to get out of there before more turned up."

Your father gave Sam an odd look as he got out of the car. "Sam, good to see you finally up."

Sam nods and gives a smile. "Yeah, I'm feeling good."

"And you were complaining about me." You grumbled to your father.

"Shut up Y/N." Dean growled.

"I don't see why I should after the grief you've been giving me." You replied and then looked back as there was a banging from the boot, making your frown and then glare angrily at Dean. "You've kept Crowley in the boot!?"

They practically dragged you from the room then and you cursed after them as they sat you at the library table, a nervous Kevin watching on, frowning as you mention Crowley.

"Wait, Crowley isn't dead?" He shouts after them.

"Of course he's not dead, they need him." You growled, fuming. "Not that Crowley would give up anything easily."

Kevin stared at you, confused by the tone in your voice. "Why do I have a feeling we're angry for different reasons?"

"Observant. You're learning." You stared angrily at your leg. "Bloody thing," You raised your voice so it carried down the hall. "If I wasn't immobilised I'd be in there kicking your arses! I hope you know that!"

Your mood didn't improve later when the inevitable conversation happened and there was no way that you could get away from it, sat in one of the comfy chairs in the library, your leg elevated, you'd had a book open on your lap but you hadn't moved past a page for the last few hours.

Dean walked in with Sam and your father. "Alright Y/N, we need to talk about this."

"I don't know what you're talking about." You said bitterly as Kevin looked up from the table.

"Crowley." Dean growled. "And don't pull that shit on us, we let you off easy in the hospital, but here is a different set of rules."

You raised an eyebrow. "You call those moments in the hospital, talks? Seriously? Just demanding what I do with my life-"

"You're dating Crowley Y/N. How did you expect us to react?" Dean asked.

Kevin's jaw dropped. "You're what?"

You sighed. "Well, this is about to get even worse, thank you Dean." You look at Kevin, who was clearly trying to work out how to take this. "Yes Kevin, I've been dating Crowley, but no, I didn't know what he was doing to you, and I doubt even if I did, and had said something, he would've done anything."

"How can you be so casual about this?" He asked angrily, his voice trying and failing to hide his hurt. "I've been trusting you and you go and do something like this!"

"I'll be the first to admit that the situation isn't perfect, trust me." You spoke calmly, despite feeling sick to your stomach, but you looked between them all and only saw understanding from Sam. "But I've kept Crowley and I out of this as much as possible. Despite what you all think, I didn't go into this without a lot of thought, I didn't just suddenly choose to go along with this."

Dean clearly wasn't going to take this. "Oh what, you're going to expect us to believe that he did the whole slow date thing? That he was patient enough to wait until you agreed to give him what he wanted?"

"I always said you didn't give him enough credit." You said, holding back your smirk as his look darkened. "And as for what he wanted, for what you are assuming, no, he hasn't got that yet."

"Nor will he, because this ends now." Your father said coldly.

You sigh and roll your eyes. "Sure. Keep thinking that." You struggled up to your feet, intending to try and hobble away. "I'm sorry Kevin, and I'm sorry to you Sam and Dean for not telling you, but I'm sure you understand why."

"You're not just going to walk away from this."

"That's precisely what I'm going to do." Using the chair and then reaching the wall, you hobbled forward. "Because unless you are willing to have a reasonable conversation about it, I see no reason to continue this."

"We're being perfectly-" You cut Dean off with a dark look.

"Honestly." You huff and continue along the wall, wincing slightly on your leg. "I'm too tired for this shit."

Sam hurried over to you as you buckled a little, catching your arm and helping you straighten up. "We just wanted to talk Y/N."

"No, you wanted to try and control something that you can't." You said bitterly. "And honestly, I have enough out of my control at the moment without you trying to drag one of the good things in my life away."

Sam's face was grim, but instead of saying anything, he shot a warning glare at Dean and your father, making sure that they didn't say a word, before helping you to your room.

"We'll have to dig out some crutches for you." He said, helping you to your bed. "At least you'll be able to get around."

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be useful." You grumbled. "Because like they aren't going to have me on lockdown while Crowley is here." You looked at Sam, feeling a heavy weight on your shoulders. "I am sorry Sam, it was never my intention to let it go so long like this."

"Don't stress, just rest up." Sam said and gives a small smile. "I'll have a talk to them, I think Kevin may need it most."

You sigh again and let yourself fall back on your bed, your stomach churning, and wanting nothing more than to just sleep and temporarily forget what was happening around you.

It had never occurred to you that you wouldn't enjoy life in the bunker with Sam and Dean, and yet that was currently what was happening. Things had gone quiet after the last discussion, Dean now ignoring you and Kevin shooting you dark looks. Your kept attempting to make small talk with you, but in here, in the mood that you were in, the pain you were in, he was last person you wanted to talk to, especially as he was often the one that was guarding Crowley's door.

Sam was the only one that clearly wanted to keep up a normal conversation, the problem was, was that every time he tried, Dean would interrupt, or Kevin would ask for help, and so you were on your own, usually keeping to your room.

This was making a lot of things come back up, things that had been sitting away, that you thought you had regained control of. Self-doubt ate away at you and the pain seemed to make all the bad thoughts worse, and for a while you wanted nothing more than to curl up on your bed and not move.

When it had hit in recent times, Crowley had always helped your through the worse of it, even if he couldn't be there, he'd send messages and then always make it up to you later, and you couldn't help it, it always made you smile.

Now, it was a bottle of Jack that was helping you through it.

You knew that it wasn't the best method, but after more than a few nights where you thought that the tears wouldn't stop and you slept little, it was currently your best method.

It was after one of these nights that you found yourself precariously hobbling to the library, awkwardly balanced on one crutch, a hot cup of tea in your hand, that you found Kevin, his head buried in a book, that you realised that there was much different way of looking at this.

Kevin's eyes were dark, making it clear that he hadn't slept in days, something that you were uncomfortably used to seeing from the young man, but his brows were also furrowed, showing his frustration at whatever information that Sam and Dean had him trying to find.

Your gaze softened as you watched Kevin, you'd always had a soft spot for him and had tried to look after him when you could, especially after everything he had been through. Someone his age shouldn't have been forced into this life and seeing him like this was reminding you both of why and that this life wasn't easy on anyone.

He would always work as hard as he could, no matter what was happening, no matter what he had been through.

You looked at your tea before looking back at Kevin.

He jumped a little when you placed the tea in front of him and he shot you an odd look. "What's that for?"

"To help you relax a little." You said gently. "And to help you sleep, you look like shit Kev."

He frowns. "Like you care."

You ignore the comment. "When was the last time you ate Kevin?"

He shrugs and goes quickly back to his book, seeming to be intent on ignoring you.

Smirking, you start to walk back towards the kitchen. "You still like bacon and eggs right?"

"You can't cook while you're like that." He said before he could stop himself.

"Of course I can kid, a bung leg doesn't stop the use of my hands." You left him staring after you.

Cooking turned out to be a good relief, making you relax more than what you had in weeks and you were happy when you already found Kevin staring down the hall when you hobbled back in.

"I take it it's been a while then?" You said with a smile as he came and took the plate.

He nods, trying not to smile. "I just get so enraptured in this stuff I don't think about the rest." He paused to look at you. "Thank you Y/N."

You shrug nonchalantly and turn back to the kitchen where your own breakfast was waiting with a fresh cup of tea. "Don't mention it, someone's gotta take care of you."

From then on, Kevin was a little less hesitant around you, and although he was still upset about Crowley, it had made him think a little more on the situation.

The time came that you needed to go back to the hospital to see how your leg was healing and after much discussion, it was agreed that Sam would take you.

You were happy when the cast came off, but weren't impressed when the doctors came back with a boot that you'd still have to wear.

"At least it's healing well Y/N." Sam chuckled as you grumbled on the return trip. "You can spend less time on your crutches."

"I still can't hunt." You said bitterly, starting to go a little stir crazy among other things. "And I still can't kick Dad's arse away from the door."

"Crowley's fine Y/N." Sam assured. "For now, I'd keep playing along."

"It hurts Sam." You said quietly after a moment. "It hurts so much at times that I don't know what to do and it's in such a way that I can't even describe the real emotion behind it. I'm angry and disappointed at Dad and Dean and I don't think that's helping the overall situation."

"I know." Sam said, his voice understanding. "But you just got to keep going."

You sighed and rested your head against the window. "You promise he's alright?"

There was a moments hesitation. "I promise Y/N."

It took you a couple of days to get used to the boot, but you'd just made yourself comfortable in the library when a door slamming got your attention.

Dean stormed through followed closely by your father.

"Kevin, make sure she stays there." Dean snapped and Kevin gawked after him as Dean yelled for Sam.

"Subtle." You snort with a roll of your eyes and return to your book.

Kevin was biting his cheek as his gaze went from the hall to you. "You know..." He started but trailed off as you looked up.

He was frowning so you raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"They haven't been getting anywhere with Crowley." He said quickly. "Which I'm sure you knew they wouldn't, but..." He trailed off again.

"Kevin, if you are trying to hint that I should go there, you're doing a very bad job." You said with slight amusement.

Kevin blushes but looks uncomfortable. "Look, you know I don't like the bastard, but seeing you so down all the time..." You looked surprised, sure that no one but Sam had noticed. "It kinda sucks. So, I don't know, tell them I fell asleep or something, I could really use a nap after all."

You looked at Kevin, who was clearly fighting himself over what he'd said, and smiled. "Don't let anyone tell you you're a coward kid, because that's bravery right there."

He gives a small smile and nods. "Thanks Y/N, but I still think you should go before I regret saying that."

Giving a small chuckle, you stand, stretching a little before starting the long slow limp down the hall.

The raised voices reached you even through the closed door and you mentally braced yourself for what you could possibly see.

That was until you heard your name mentioned.

"...you truly cared about her, you'd tell us what you know Crowley." Dean's voice came. "She'll stand a better chance with us if we know what's going on."

"As I keep telling you, I wouldn't trust you lot with anything, let alone Y/N." Crowley said irritably, his gaze flickering to you as you quietly opened the door to slip inside. "She's more than capable of defending herself more than you could ever be."

You smile at this, leaning back against the wall to observe, already feeling slightly better, and noting Crowley's slight smirk at your presence.

"Even you don't properly believe that with the necklace you gave her." You father said. "So excuse me if I don't keep pressing the issue."

"You're just not seeing the bigger picture." Crowley sneered. "She is perfectly capable of helping herself out in any situation, however, a little extra help can go a long way."

"She still got hurt." Your father's voice shifted to a growl. "How can you-"

"Y/N wasn't slowly being tortured from the inside out was she?" Crowley asked. "A broken bone is a lot more repairable than all the internal damage that Abaddon could have caused, not to mention the mental scarring."

You shifted a little, knowing that he knew.

"She still got hurt!"

"She's a hunter, you all know it comes with the territory." Crowley said and rolled his eyes at the glares from the men in the room. "Look, I'm just as upset that she got hurt, I promise that Abaddon will pay for that, but Y/N knows the risks."

You had explained this to Sam and Dean multiple times, but it never stopped them from getting in the way if they thought your life was in danger.

"It was your fault Abaddon turned up in the first place." Sam said. "If you hadn't bitten me-"

"One can hardly blame me for having self-preservation." He cut in. "And I didn't specifically call her, I would rather not have anything to do with that psychotic bitch, I was simply trying to get out of there."

There was a moment's pause.

"Why didn't Y/N offer to get you out?" Your father asked.

Crowley raised an eyebrow. "What? Don't believe that I'd actually keep her out of danger?"

"No." Dean and your father said at the same time, Sam looking grim.

"She's in no danger from us Crowley. Only from you." Dean snarled. "And frankly, the sheer fact that you aren't giving us anything about this whole pure blood crap proves it."

Crowley chuckles. "Care to handle this one love?"

The three men turned to see you standing back against the wall, arms folding and looking more than a little annoyed.

"I don't know, none of them have had the decency to ask me about it." You said harshly, looking from one to the other, Sam the only that averted his gaze.

"What are you-"

"Kevin fell asleep." You said before Dean could finish his question. "And seeing as you seem so content on keeping me out of here, I figured I'd simply join you."

"Well now you can leave." Dean said. "Because-"

"What? Didn't catch my hint?" You asked. "Or are you so caught up in hating me at the moment that everything just goes over your head?"

"We've been through the library Y/N," He growled. "Everything, and we've found nothing on the pure bloods, so Crowley is the only one that knows."

"Or, as I said, you could ask me about it." When Dean still looked irritated, you huffed. "Who the hell do you think found all the books Dean?"

"You have them?" Sam asked.

"Of course I do." You said. "You don't just think I'm going to find out something like that about myself and not try and find everything I can about it? I've held onto them simply because it is my burden to bare, not any of yours."

"You don't get to decide that." Dean said.

"Yeah, I do." You stood straight off the wall to step closer into the room. "Because there isn't anything you can do about it and this is my life, not yours."

"We know about claiming Y/N." Your father said quietly, causing both you and Crowley to tense slightly.

You looked at him. "What about it?"

"That's what we're trying to find out." Your father's voice was calm and you tilted your head a little, this behaviour something you hadn't seen before. "The small bit of info we found didn't elaborate too much."

You licked your lips. "It's better if you don't know."

"You're not going to get out of this now Y/N." Dean said. "What do you know about all this?"

"As much as the books said." You said. "Which ultimately wasn't a lot. By the time the Men of Letter's managed to learn about them, pure bloods were naught but rumour and speculation amongst the supernatural creatures, which is where all the information has come from, and trust me, they didn't ask."

"Stop avoiding it and tell us sweetheart." Your father said. "We're trying to help."

"There's nothing you can do to help." You said, frowning. "And there isn't much else-"

"Not much to know? If there wasn't much to know then Crowley and Abaddon wouldn't be so interested." Dean said.

"I'm not-"

"Shut up Crowley because everyone in this room knows its bullshit." Dean snapped, glaring at him. "If pure bloods can be made as strong as what we read, then there's no way you wouldn't be interested."

"We've had this discussion Dean." You said quietly. "Crowley didn't know until that vampire said anything. As for being strong..." You hesitated and looked at Crowley, who shrugs, leaving it up to you, and you sigh. "Strong...isn't the word I would use."

"In all fairness, it would." Crowley chipped in and you shot him a look.

"Not helping." You limped over to chair and sat. "The pure blood thing...it's complicated. They first appeared not long after the Alpha's were born." You let out a slow breath. "And the Alpha's used full advantage of them. Whatever is in our blood naturally draws them, and they were often kept as, for want of a better term, slaves. There was the odd Alpha that went beyond that though."

You shifted uncomfortably at this. "It wasn't clear which Alpha found this out first but apparently, turning a pure blood, creates a stronger version of the species, almost on an Alpha's level." You stared at your hands for a moment, thinking of the best way to approach it. "But...there was another step to it."

"The claiming?" Sam asked.

You winced. "It's an awful bloody word, but if you want to put it so bluntly, then yes. I guess explaining it bluntly is the best way too..." Again, you hesitate. "They became mates to the Alpha's."

"Mates?" Dean asked in disbelief. "As in like, werewolf kind of mates?"

"Yes and no." You said slowly. "Werewolf mates, from what we know, they are simply together, like any other relationship, except it's closer and means more on an instinctual level. Pure bloods never had a choice in the matter if they were to be claimed or not, they just were, but that-that bond that is made at the time is stronger than any other known form of bonding. It makes both in the pair stronger, how for Alpha's, I have no idea, no one except them knew, but for the pure blood...they...they grew consumed by the power. It...it changed them, made them accepting and under an Alpha's will, they would do anything."

"So they put them under mind control?" Dean asked.

You shook your head. "No, they were very willing once they were claimed but could still act of their own free will. In the early times, most pure bloods were the lower class, they'd never experiences power before, many being tortured for years, so having it was a like a sudden gift just shoved in the palm of their hands, and they just revelled in it." You still remember reading those words and feeling sick to your stomach and as you glanced at Crowley, you realised why he has suddenly become so careful. "It wasn't unusual for an Alpha to have three to four pure bloods bound to them, even though the pure bloods themselves could be bound to no other. They became like body guards, amongst other things."

A silence fell and you just waited for a reaction.

"Why haven't we seen any before this?" Sam asked.

Your mouth twitched to smile, even as your gaze turned sad. "Because they were killed. Over the years, the supply of pure bloods began to run out, the Alpha's having no more to claim as they'd encouraged others of their race to start doing so too, build an army and all that, but once they realised that they were starting to die...well, those of a lower calibre decided that if they couldn't have them, then no one could." You rubbed your hands together nervously. "It's a little sketchy about what happened, but it was brutal and bloody and no one really came out on top. After the fighting died off, all known pure bloods were gone, even the human ones."

"So how are you one?" You looked at Sam and shrugged.

"You're guess is as good as mine."

"If I may," Crowley stepped in and you nodded. "It is of the blood, is it not? So one could assume that years of genetics would be in play, no doubt somewhere down both you're parent's lines, was, in fact, a pure blood."

"I thought they were all captured?" Dean asked. "I mean, if the Alpha's were that desperate..."

"If a pure blood was already claimed by the time an Alpha found them, an Alpha had no interest." You said dully. "And seeing pure bloods have to be found by the smell of their blood, you can imagine it wasn't overly easy, or, should I say, not finding male pure bloods was easy."

Sam and Dean both looked confused for a moment before realisation dawned, Sam looking uncomfortable and Dean making a disgusted noise.

"Welcome to womanhood." You snort in mild amusement. "No one said it was pretty."

"How would humans know to claim a pure blood?" Your father asked.

"They didn't." You said. "It's just that claiming isn't at all complicated as it sounds."

He stared at you, making an unease settle over you as you held his gaze, clearly he was thinking heavily. "So, if someone were too...claim you, no one else could touch you?"

"Supposedly." You answered slowly and you noticed Crowley's glare on your father too, his eyes dark.

Your father leaned back, observing you through calm and collected eyes. "Do these books ever say what happens to pure bloods claimed by a demon?"

You shakes your head. "From what it says, angels and demons had little interest."

"Well, we can hardly have that changing now, can we?" He asked. "And as much as I don't want it to be like this, this is going to have to happen with or without your permission."

"Hell be damned it will." Crowley growls as Sam, Dean and yourself stare at your father. "Anyone of you lay a finger on her-"

"You don't get any say demon." Your father snarled. "Y/N is too far gone with you for me to allow to sit back and watch this happen, so if I have to make this choice for her so you don't get to, then so be it. I would prefer it to be someone she knew of course, and given the small status of our little circle..."

Sam looked horrified. "You can't be serious Y/F/N? There's so many things wrong with doing that-"

"I've said from the start of all this Sam, I'm not watching my little girl go down this path."

"It's not your choice." You hissed, your eyes filling with tears which you ignore. "And going so far as-as to fucking get someone to rape me? What the f-"

"If you consent, it won't be." Your father had barely shifted, his gaze still calm, determined. "But if you leave us no other choice, then so be it."

"It's not going to happen Y/F/N." Sam said as Crowley growled and struggled against the chains holding him down. "It's wrong and you know it."

"If it stops Crowley..." You stare at Dean, who was clearly torn, but you couldn't believe that the words had just come out of his mouth. "Hey, I don't like it, but if it stops whatever plans he has-"

"There are no plans." You said angrily, standing, suddenly feeling cornered in this little room. "For fucks sake can none of you see past-"

"No." Your father growled and stood, taking a step closer, making you retreat further. "And you can ask that as many times as you want sweetheart, it's going to change the answer."

You knew then in that moment that you weren't going to have a choice, that being in the bunker was going to turn out a lot worse for you that what being in the outside world currently would, all because of the man in front of you.

"If any one of you comes anywhere close to touching me, I will not hesitate to kill you." You said, even through the quiver in your voice. "I never thought I'd see-see this behaviour...not from you three."

Sam stood. "Y/N..."

"Don't Sam." You warned and took another step back. "I know you disagreed, but right now, that's the least of my worries." You eyed between your father and Dean. "I hope you both go to Hell for even thinking this."

"Don't worry love, they will." Crowley growled, still struggling. "I promise you that."

"If I can save you, that's all that matters." Your father said flatly. "God can send me wherever he wishes."

You felt the door at your back and you gripped the handle tight.

Dean stepped forward. "Come on Y/N, if you run, you're going to hurt yourself."

"Right now, that's the better option." You said, glaring at Dean. "You were my best friend Dean. How can you think that?"

"I want to protect you." He said. "Now, just be reason-"

"Like you're being reasonable?" You asked. "Because the last thing this is, is fucking reasonable Dean. I'm not something that can just be taken for granted, something that can be used and thrown aside when I'm no longer useful. I'm a human being and I expect to be treated like one, especially by those that I considered my family. So if I choose to run, you know I have a bloody good reason for it."

You stormed from the room, but your father stopped Sam and Dean following.

"She won't run." He growled. "She's got nowhere to go and her leg is no good to be out and about. She knows that."

"This is your daughter we're talking about." Sam said, shaking out of his grasp. "You can't just treat her like this."

"I will do what I have to." He said coldly. "Now, are we getting down to business with this demon or not?"

He was partly right, you didn't go anywhere at first, but you kept to your room, a heavy draw placed in front of it knowing that the lock wouldn't do much.

You were taking your time. A part of knew that your fathers threat was real, but another part of you also knew that he wouldn't go that far until he was absolutely forced to.

Sam came back to the bunker from a supply run, only to find Dean and your father unconscious on the floor, making him drop the bags and hurry over.

Kevin was sitting nervously at the table and watched as Sam checked them over. "They'll wake up in a couple of hours."

Sam looked up at him. "What?"

"Y/N drugged them, or, their food more so. I didn't think they'd actually fall for it..." Kevin swallows and shakes his head. "She's gone."

"She's what?" Sam exclaimed and jumped to his feet, pulling out his phone and starting to look for your number.

"You won't get her." Kevin held up your old phone. "She made sure she couldn't be tracked."

"Why didn't you stop her Kevin?" Sam asked angrily. "She's not going to last two seconds out there with Abaddon after her."

"Don't be daft." Kevin said. "You really don't give others enough credit do you? You really think she's going to go out into this unprepared?"

Sam stared at him. "You helped her?"

"Of course I helped her," He frowned. "She was terrified Sam. Especially of those two."

"Dean wouldn't." Sam said firmly. "I know he wants to protect her and I know it's no reason for why he said what he did, but I know him, he wouldn't."

"And you think she's going to take that risk?" Kevin asked. "What about Y/F/N? Sam, you and I both know that she's currently better on her own."

Sam sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "I can't believe this got so out of hand, they said they were only going to break them apart, which I honestly thought would be better too, but after that..."

Kevin looks grim but then hands him a piece of paper.

Sam looks at it for a moment before opening it.

Sam,

I know this isn't the best way of doing this but unfortunately, I have no choice. I've been pushed to this. I have your numbers if I need you, but please don't come looking for me. I will be fine. Once this is sorted, I'll come back.

Y/N

Sam read it again and again before he sighed. "This is just what we need."

"She's doing what she has to do." Kevin said softly and then holds out another piece of paper. "She's doing what is in her best interests. I don't need to tell you who that is for."

Crowley,

I hope you can forgive me for leaving you here, but right now, I think it's safer for both of us. At least I know you are somewhat safe from Abaddon.

When you get out, and I know you will, please don't come find me. No matter how much you may want to. Until this matter is sorted, Abaddon included, it's better if we're not around each other. When it's over, I'll come to you.

As much as I don't want to say this, for now this is goodbye. I know neither of us want this Crowley, believe me, I do, but you know the answer as to why.

You take care of yourself. Please. I'd hate to get through all this only to find I've lost you too.

Love,

Y/N

Crowley read the letter slowly, his face blank, before refolding it and tucking it inside his jacket as Sam watched.

"I'm sorry Crowley." Sam said carefully.

Crowley's expression turned to one of irritation as he glared at Sam. "You don't have a right to be sorry."

Sam nods. "I know, but I am."

"If something happens to her..." Crowley breathes. "If something happens to her then I promise that I will make Lucifer's torture look like child's play. For all of you."

Sam swallows but nods. "As you said, she can handle herself. She'll be fine."

"For all your sakes she better be." Crowley growled. "And when I get out of this, that father of hers had better run for his life, because he's the first one I'm coming after."


	4. Alone

I need your help.

Sam stared blankly at his phone for a moment, not recognising the number before he practically leapt to pick up his phone, hitting dial on the number.

It went to voicemail. "Don't leave a message, I won't call back. Text instead."

Sam cursed and typed. Where are you Y/N?

He waited, but got no response.

Sam hurriedly pulled over his computer and quickly started typing, pulling up the information he needed.

"Cas!" He called in the bunker, Castiel hurrying into the room looking worried.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Y/N's in trouble." Sam said. "She sent me a message but isn't answering. I've tracked her location with her number.

Castiel hesitates. "You know it could be trap Sam, Abaddon-"

"I know," Sam said quickly, throwing on his jacket as he looked desperately at Castiel. "But it's my fault she ran in the first place and I'm not going to just sit back and wait to see if she's actually in trouble."

"It's her father's fault Sam, not yours." Castiel said, but as Sam frowns at him, Castiel nods. "Alright, let's go get her."

The location Sam had was a few hours' drive away, his fingers tapping nervously on the wheel the whole way.

"I'm sure she's fine Sam." Castiel said carefully, watching Sam out of the corner of his eye. "She was dating Crowley, I doubt there wouldn't be much she wasn't ready for."

"Now is not a good time to joke Cas."

"I wasn't joking."

They pulled up outside a motel, Sam hurrying inside to talk to reception if they'd seen you, Castiel looking from door to door.

One of the doors had blood on it.

"Sam!" Castiel called and rushed over to the door, finding it locked, he hit it hard with his shoulder, letting it fly open as Sam came running over, both of them entering the room.

You were slumped against the furthest wall in the room, a half a bottle of whiskey next to you, and a lot of blood soaking your clothes.

"Jesus Y/N!" Sam dashed over to you, dropping down so that he could check your pulse, which was faint but still steady, and he checked over the wounds, badly bandaged, as Castiel looked you.

"She's used the alcohol to kill the pain and clean the wounds." Castiel said. "They're not too deep but she's still lost a fair bit of blood." Leaning forward, he pressed his hand against your forehead, letting his grace heal you.

You mumble something as you come round, your eyes opening slowly and you blink at Sam and Castiel. "Hey..."

Sam's look of relief was momentary as you groaned. "Easy Y/N, take it slow. We'll get you up." He and Castiel take you by the arms to help you to your feet, setting you on the bed.

You stretched a little, but winced. "Yeah...that's going to hurt for a while."

"I healed the wound," Castiel frowned. "You should be fine."

You gave a strained smile. "Thanks Cas, but when you've been slumped against the wall for a while, it goes a bit beyond what even an angel can heal."

Sam knelt in front of you, his gaze concerned. "What happened Y/N?"

You sighed, your gaze weary, your exhaustion clear. "A couple of demons found me, guess I got a little too relaxed after not seeing anything for a couple of weeks, and they tried to take me down. They came out worse off but not before I took a couple of hits."

"A couple of hits? Y/N, you were lucky they didn't kill you." Sam said.

"They weren't interested in killing me, trust me." You said with a grimace. "Abaddon wants to use me as bait for Crowley."

"So she is definitely after you then?" Castiel asked.

You nod, although quickly stop as your head spins. "Unfortunately. I've been doing pretty well up until this point, avoiding demons as well as Dad."

Castiel and Sam share a look, one that had you looking between them. "What?"

"He was pissed when you left." Sam said. "And swore to hunt you down and bring you back."

"I had little doubt that he would." You said bitterly. "But I've stayed ahead, just, at times, but it appears my assumption was correct in that he wouldn't give me much credit towards being a hunter too."

With a sigh, you collapse back onto the bed, running your hands over your face. "Thanks for coming for me though, I almost thought..."

"We're not just going to leave you Y/N." Sam said firmly. "No matter what was said back then. We can-"

"I've still got to stay on my own Sam." You said without moving. "Until all of this, and I mean all of this, is sorted, then it's too dangerous for me to be anywhere but on my own."

Sam stands and gives a slightly irritated huff. "Y/N, you could've died today. Don't you think that's a good enough reason to let us help?"

"No." You sit up slightly. "Sam, I don't think you understand that I would choose death over every other situation that's been offered to be by you guys at the moment."

He sighs. "I know it's not easy, but you're life has been on the line out here on your own-"

"And I've been handling it." You said gently. "Sam, I planned this for weeks, Kevin helped me out a lot-" You faltered at Sam's expression at the mention of Kevin. "No."

When Sam remained silent, Castiel picked up. "Kevin...Kevin was killed Y/N. Metatron ordered it and we were too late to stop it."

"I could've stopped it." Sam mumbled bitterly. "If I had just known-"

"None of us could've known Sam." Castiel said. "Kevin's death is not your fault either."

"Of all the people that have been caught up in our messes, Kevin did not deserve death." You said quietly, your voice sad. "But I'm sure he wouldn't want you blaming yourself Sam, just as I don't want you to blame yourself for me leaving." When he looked at you, you gave a small smile. "Yeah, you're that easy to read. Now, besides Abaddon, it sounds like Metatron has become a real problem too?"

Castiel nods. "He's claimed himself God and is trying to build up an army in Heaven again."

You frown. "If he wanted an army, why did he cast all the angels out in the first place?"

"He was trying to get them to understand what he's felt like all these years on earth, and with the offering of a return home, many aren't turning him down." Castiel said sadly. "The angels have virtually been split into two and...and it's gotten messy."

"Well, it's good to know neither side is getting on." You groaned and then looked over at the half empty bottle on the floor. "Why don't you two help me finish that before I have to disappear again?"

Sam picks up the bottle but doesn't bring it over, placing it on the table. "No Y/N, I think you've had enough of this, and if you really are going to go back out there on your own, you need a clear head."

You snort. "Trust me Sam, my heads perfectly clear when I'm running, it just helps with the emotional pressure through it."

He frowns. "You can't just drink away your problems."

"I'm not, I'm drinking to help." You lie back again on the bed. "You know I still limp right? My leg might be healed, but it still hurts at times to walk on it, that bitch did a hell of a lot of damage."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help Y/N." Castiel said.

You sigh in frustration and sit back up properly this time, frowning between the two of them. "Look, I appreciate you guys rushing out to help me, I do, but this constant assumption that one, I don't know what I'm doing, two, don't accept the consequences of what I'm doing, and three, that I constantly need to be looked after, is rather tiring." You look between them as they look a little guilty. "I get it, I do, but seriously, everyone has a hiccup once in a while, it doesn't mean they need to be babied over."

"It's not just that," Castiel said. "But Crowley has made it very clear of what will happen if anything happens to you."

You raise an eyebrow. "Let me guess. The promise of torture, death and dismemberment?"

They both nod.

You chuckle weakly. "Trust me, he won't."

"Really? Because he seems pretty damn convincing." Sam said.

You shake your head. "If I tell him not to he won't."

They stare at you. "Seriously?"

"He's made it clear since our first date." You smile a little. "I simply have to say so and he'll back down."

"How long have you two been together?" Castiel asked.

"Over a year."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Over a year? Through the whole demon tablet crap?"

You wince. "Trust me, it wasn't that simple. He kept me out as much as he could, even at the end there."

"He asked you not to help him didn't he?" Sam asked.

You nodded. "He didn't want me in danger."

"From us?"

You nodded again, but hesitantly this time. "It was one thing he'd never listen to me on, but I guess he was proved partly right."

Sam let out a long sigh, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry Y/N."

You shrug. "I've managed."

Castiel was watching you closely, glancing at Sam for a moment. "I think I may have a solution."

"I don't need a solution Cas-"

"Neither one of us are going to let you out that door on your own again." Castiel said firmly. "And if demon's can catch you, then I'd hate to think that your father could too."

You shifted uncomfortably, but said nothing.

"Sam is healed." He continued. "And I've been in touch with several angels. I could take you with me."

Your jaw dropped a little and Sam looked unconvinced.

"Cas, the angels are just as messed up as the demons at the moment, if not more so." Sam said worriedly, but Castiel shakes his head.

"Maybe, but there's something I haven't mentioned in all this." He looks pointedly at you. "Angels can't harm pure bloods."

Your eyebrows shot up and you tilted your head. "What?"

"Like prophets, each pure blood was assigned a guardian from birth, but it was for a very different reason."

You sigh. "Let me guess..."

Castiel nods. "To make sure they never fell into a demon's hands. Given all the fighting recently, among other things, I think it's safe to assume yours is dead."

You frowned though. "Shouldn't I have known before this?"

Castiel shakes his head. "Not unless you came across demons before when you were younger?"

Sam saw your look and he frowned. "Have you?"

You shake your head slowly, but unsure. "Not that I clearly remember, but with Dad being a hunter, gifted in demon hunting, who knows what could've happened."

This makes them both look more worried.

"If that were the case," Castiel said slowly. "That could mean-"

"Cas," Sam warned. "I'm sure we can't make that assumption."

Castiel hesitates, staring at you. "If she is the first pure blood in a long time...it would make sense that someone with a lot more power would be her guardian."

"You said yourself that archangels were reserved for prophets Cas." Sam said firmly. "And even if he was, don't you think something would have happened during the Apocalypse?"

Castiel hesitates again. "It could be why he went so adamantly after Crowley."

"They'd never met." Sam argued.

"Not to Y/N's knowledge, but we've all seen stranger things happen." Castiel countered.

"Excuse me." You cut in, looking between the two of them. "My life is already complicated so if you feel like adding more, feel free."

"Lucifer." You raised an eyebrow at Sam. "Cas thinks that Lucifer could be your guardian."

"Lucifer?" You asked slowly.

Sam and Dean had told you all about the Apocalypse and what had happened. You'd never been quite sure whether you could believe it or not, but seeing their expressions now was making you reconsider.

"We can't prove it of course." Castiel said quickly. "But, the more I look at it, we also can't afford to count it out."

An odd silence fell over the room and you thought about the chaotic mess your life was steadily descending into.

"He's locked away though right?" You asked. "He can't actually do anything?"

"Yes, but it's hardly-"

"Then we don't need to worry." You said over Castiel. "We can move on from it, deal with it if it ever comes up again."

"Y/N-"

But you shook your head, feeling yourself starting to get a headache. "One problem at a time. Please."

Castiel nods even as Sam looks like he wants to keep arguing. "Hopefully it doesn't have to come up again."

You nod and take the chance to change the subject. "Alright, so, what's this business about going with you?"

"Well, you'd be safer for one," Castiel said before Sam could cut in. "No angel can hurt you-"

"Hang on," You said, frowning. "What about the angel in the hospital?"

He shakes his head. "He could've tried, but it never would've worked. If he'd managed a hit, he would've taken the pain instead." He pulls out his blade and holds it towards you. "May I?"

Hesitantly, you hold out your hand. Castiel takes it and pressed the blade in, you tensed, expecting pain, but instead, Castiel's hand glowed and he hissed in pain, holding up the small cut.

You and Sam stared in amazement.

"Damn," You smirked. "I should've let the bastard kill himself." When Castiel doesn't look impressed, you shrug. "Would've been funny, also would've given me a lot more comfort sooner."

"Okay, they can't hurt her." Sam said quickly, seeing Castiel's look. "But that doesn't mean they won't sell her out."

"I wouldn't allow that to happen Sam." Castiel promised. "I know who we can trust and who we can't."

"That...that is not comforting Cas." Sam said weakly. "Given the angels record-"

"I'll do it." Both of them looked at you and you shrugged. "It's better than being on my own. It's been a long few months."

"But-"

"I'll be with Cas, Sam." You said gently. "No matter what trouble he gets me into, I'm still going to be safer than what I am on my own."

Sam sighs and then looks at Castiel. "You realise what you're taking on here right?"

"Of course," He nods. "But it is going to help keep Dean and Y/F/N away from her too. I don't want to ask you to lie to them-"

"I've got it covered." Sam gives a small smile. "It's not like we've never had to before right?"

"I'm sorry Sam." You said, feeling uneasy. "If I had any other suggestions-"

"It's okay." He gives genuine smile then. "I'm just glad you're alright."

Of course, it was only natural that things didn't entirely go to plan. You had a feeling it would happen, hence why you made sure you had a backup plan.

Not that it mattered right at that moment.

The boys were on a case with Crowley, trying to hunt down the first blade, when Sam's phone rang.

"Cas, what's up?" Sam asked as he answered.

Castiel hesitation was clear. "We may have a problem."

Sam frowned and noticed Dean and Crowley watching him, making him clear his throat. "What kind of problem? I mean, I don't know whether you've noticed Cas but-"

"Y/N is gone."

Sam stilled before realising that now was not the best time to show it. "What do you mean Cas?" He asked as calmly as possible.

"My logical guess would be Abaddon's demons." Castiel said.

Sam let out a slow breath and stood, trying to ease himself away from Dean and Crowley, who had returned to arguing. "Are you sure?"

"Positive." Castiel's voice was grim. "We...she wanted to hunt, I went with her, it all went smoothly, we were resting up and she went to get food and...never came back."

"Dammit Cas, what happened to having it in control?" Sam asked louder than he meant to, earning the returned gaze of Dean and Crowley.

"Everything alright Sammy?" Dean asked, frowning at him.

Sam winced. "Yeah...just...Cas had something happen, that's all. He's fine though."

Dean's frown deepened, but Crowley raised an eyebrow. "You're a terrible liar Moose."

Sam chewed his lip. "It's fine."

"Put Cas on speaker." Dean said and Sam sighed, doing as Dean asked. "Go ahead Cas."

"This would be easier in person, I am on my way." Castiel grumbled before he sighed. "Abaddon has Y/N."

There was a moment as both Crowley and Dean took this in, Crowley's face turning pale and Dean's face contorting with anger.

"She what?" He snapped.

"She's been with me for some weeks recently." Castiel explained. "I've been looking out for her, although I'm pretty sure she's done more for me. We hadn't seen any demon activity all this time, I guess we just relaxed a little too much. She literally just went across the road. I didn't even hear anything, but there were signs of a scuffle." Castiel paused. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Dean asked angrily. "Who knows what Abaddon is going to do to her? We need to find her now."

"Abaddon will use her to get to me." Crowley said softly, but surprisingly calmly, although his eyes were dark. "That's our only saving grace at the moment, that she won't hurt her too much, well, not until she has me."

"Yeah, that's a great way of looking at it Crowley." Dean said. "Need I remind you-"

"She's my partner, the only one that should be reminding anyone of anything here is me." Crowley's voice started to rise. "If it wasn't for you idiot's in the first place, we wouldn't be in this predicament."

"Y/N is not yours Crowley, you don't deserve anyone, let alone her." Dean matched his volume, earning a dark glare from him.

"Don't you think I know that?" Crowley seethed. "Don't you think I question every day what she sees in me? Something you have all seem to forgotten in this is that this is her choice. Not mine, not yours and definitely not her bloody fathers. Hers. So why don't you just back off?"

Dean was going to keep arguing but was cut off as Castiel cleared his throat from the doorway, hanging up his phone.

"You have some nerve Castiel." Crowley growled.

Castiel just nods. "There's something else you should know."

"What?" Crowley asked through clenched teeth.

Castiel glanced at Sam, who frowns. "She made me promise not to tell you, but given the circumstances, I think...it is necessary."

"So enlighten us, please, before I decide to actually take something out on you." Crowley growled.

Castiel shifted on his feet. "I...she had to talk me into this, I want you to know that first, and we did a lot of research before even considering going through with it."

"What?" Crowley bit.

"Y/N...Y/N said yes to an angel." Castiel licked his lips. "But you should know that she made up one hell of a contract first. Only one angel would agree to it."

Crowley had all but frozen, staring at Castiel.

"You let an angel possess her? Sam asked.

Castiel shook his head. "She let an angel possess her, as extra protection. Y/N had little doubt of what would happen eventually and she wanted to make sure that she wasn't on her own." He looked worriedly at Crowley, who still hadn't moved. "He's not allowed to do a thing without her say so."

"Like that makes it okay Cas." Dean said. "After what we've just been through-"

"Even if I hadn't ended up agreeing," Castiel cut him off. "She would've done it anyway."

Crowley cleared his throat. "He?"

Castiel nodded. "As I said, only one angel would agree to it."

Multiple emotions flickered across Crowley' face. "Was she...has she..." He seemed unsure of how to phrase his question, frowning a little.

"Angels can't claim pure bloods." Castiel said and Crowley seemed to relax a little. "Although that doesn't mean he can't affect it somehow if he so desired, but as I said, she planned out everything."

"She actually wrote up a contract?" When Castiel nods, Sam frowns. "I mean, I know Y/N's smart and all but a contract is a big deal."

"I read it." Castiel said. "There was nothing that could be used against her. She made him sign it and everything."

Their eyes fell on Crowley.

"Don't look at me." He said quickly. "I kept her well and truly out of Hell's business. Like I was going to let her see any of that."

"Either way, it doesn't change the fact that Abaddon has her." Castiel cut off Sam and Dean as they went question Crowley. "It just means that she's not alone in it."

"Hardly changes much at all." Crowley growls. "You still lost Y/N and you're not getting out of that one feathers, so if you don't mind-"

"If you'd been helping us in the first place, then we'd already have the blade by now." Dean snarled. "We could be on our way to killing Abaddon. Like it or not Crowley, you're stuck with us till we get it, then we can go and save Y/N."

"I could just-"

"You're a mess Crowley," Sam said. "You look like you're more likely to burst into tears than save her."

Crowley purses his lips. "Well, excuse me for being terrified for the woman I love." With that, he vanishes, making Dean curse.

Sam and Castiel stared at where he'd been.

"Did he really just say that?" Sam asked.

Castiel nods. "I told you so."

In all the time you had been with Sam and Dean, you had never once not expected them to turn up and save the day, and yet, as the weeks dragged on, that thought kept creeping in more and more. Crowley, you could understand, you knew as soon as he turned up, Abaddon wouldn't hesitate to kill you, and you had little doubt that he knew this too.

But Sam and Dean, even Castiel, hell, even your father, you'd been expecting something by now.

Not that you hadn't made your own attempts, came close once too, but that just meant Abaddon tightened your security.

And the torture.

The first thing she had done was get rid of the necklace that Crowley had given you, crumbling it into dust before you, then the torture had begun. It wasn't anything you couldn't deal with to begin with, small moments so that she didn't wear you down too quickly. After all, she wanted you to last until she got her hands on Crowley.

You had never thought that anyone could talk more than Crowley, but already on several occasions, you had brazenly told her to shut up, tiring of hearing her voice.

This usually resulted in more torture.

You were almost in a constant state of pain now, bloody and bruised, your tongue constantly brushing the annoying split on your lip, but it didn't stop you from attempting to make her life as difficult as possible.

The angel, Amrobel, wasn't much use to you either, certainly not like you'd hoped. Suddenly thrown in the thick of it, he didn't want his presence known. You'd called him a few names by now, but it did nothing to change his mind, just made him keep saying that he would help when it was really needed.

You weren't overly sure that he would.

So you focused on doing this on your own.

It wasn't easy, but for the most part you kept it together, which surprised you considering everything that had happened. Of course, it was making you wonder when your world would snap, but each time you fought the thought off. You couldn't afford to be thinking like that, it would lead you down a road you didn't want to go.

It was soon put from your mind when Abaddon said she had Crowley.

Scowling at the demon that shoved you unceremoniously into the room, you found yourself pushed into a lounge, your hands tied and glaring at an amused Abaddon on the other side of the room.

"I wouldn't be paying attention to me sweetheart." She said through a grin.

You don't even flinch, keeping your gaze on her. "Crowley."

"Hello love," Crowley said, matching the calmness in your tone, despite the concern in his gaze as his eyes took in your appearance, the dark bruising under your eyes, the cut in your lip, and the rawness on your wrists from being tied so long. "Nice of you to join us."

You snort. "Glad to be here." You glance over at him, noticing another man looking on curiously. "Who's your friend?"

Crowley hesitates but scowls upon seeing Abaddon's amusement. "This is Gavin."

This brought your gaze away from Abaddon fully, frowning at Crowley. "As in your son, Gavin?"

"The one and only." Crowley said as Gavin looks surprised.

"You talk about me?" He asked.

"Reluctantly." You and Crowley said together, earning a smirk from you and an annoyed look from him.

It had been somewhat of an argument at the time, you had wanted to know more about him, and when he promised that you wouldn't like, it just made you all the more determined to know.

Eventually, he had told you, and while you certainly didn't like most of it, you still never left.

You never answered his question as to why either.

"And you're not questioning how I got here?" Gavin asked.

You raised an eyebrow and then glanced back at Abaddon, who was simply still watching. "Trust me, right now, that is the very least of my issues."

"It's going to be fine Y/N." Crowley said quickly and a lot more firmly than what he believed.

You gave a small smile, feeling your lip split again and you subconsciously licked it. It was hard to tell because of the bruising under your eyes, but you were so tired, just holding on, and Crowley's words didn't really help.

"Unless you have a trick up your sleeve right at this very moment, I don't think it will be." You said calmly. "In fact, I'm surprised she's waited this long."

Abaddon's smile widened as your gaze returned to her. "What can I say, it's more fun watching you both suffer."

"Oh good, I'm glad you're enjoying it." You said, not hiding the sarcasm or venom in your voice. "What don't you just beat me up a few more times, just for the fun of it?"

"Don't tempt me girl, you've been a right pain in my arse these last few weeks." She growled, the smile fading.

"You shouldn't work with idiots then." You said smugly. "If they can't recognise an exorcism when they hear one, that's their fault."

"Clearly you think you're such a smart little thing." Abaddon said coldly. "And yet you are still the one sitting there in chains."

You didn't need the reminder, your wrists raw from the rubbing. "What can I say, I don't like bullies."

Abaddon scoffed before she laughed. "Oh my God, you do actually realise that you are dating the supposed King of Hell? Who happens to torture people for a living?"

"Really? I hadn't noticed." You rolled your eyes as she scowled. "Why does everyone insist on pointing that out? I think I'm very much aware of it. As for why, my reasons are my own, ones I certainly don't have to explain to you."

Abaddon leant over you, her hands resting either side of your head. You didn't move, despite the invasion of space, the hairs on the back of your neck rising, holding her gaze.

"I'm going to take great satisfaction in taking your life," Her voice was low, threatening. "Because despite complaints of me talking too much, that's all you seem to do."

"I got tired of staying quiet when others were talking so much bullshit." You said. "And lately, I've heard way too much of it, so get out my face you black eyed bitch before I show you precisely how ready I am to die."

Abaddon's eyes narrowed on you even as you saw Crowley tense at the edge of your vision, but she stepped away.

Gavin whistled. "Now that's a keeper."

You frowned slightly even as Crowley sighed, rolling his eyes. With a snap of his fingers, Gavin was thrown back into a bedroom, the door closing shut.

"His timing was never brilliant." He grumbled.

You were about to say something back when pain exploded from within you and you screamed, arching off the chair.

It was momentary, Abaddon releasing you as you breathed hard, Crowley's face twisting in anger and panic.

"Speak again and I will made sure that your death is good and slow." Abaddon growled low, her eyes flashing black at you.

You glared at her, but didn't speak.

She looked amused. "Maybe I should've done that a long time ago, would've saved me a lot of headaches."

"She doesn't need to be a part of this Abaddon." Crowley snarled. "Your issue is with me and-"

"Which is precisely why she is a part of it." Abaddon said. "Or what? Didn't think there'd be any consequences with having a pure blood? How idiotic can you be Crowley?"

"You know if you just-" You screamed again as pain seared through your body until Abaddon let you go, making you gasp for air, trying to get yourself back in control.

"I told you not to speak." She said lightly. "So unless you want your tongue ripped out and fed to you, on top of the pain, I suggest listening."

"Please love," Crowley kept his tone empty, but as you looked at him, his eyes were practically begging for you to stop. "No need to keep getting yourself hurt."

Your eyes burned with fury, but you bit your tongue, being in no hurry to be in pain again.

"Not that it matters anyway," Abaddon said. "Because I'm growing very tired of this little game, and with the Winchester's already on their way, there's not much else she's really needed for."

You tensed, but remained silent, avoiding Crowley's eye. You had to believe that the boys would have a plan, that things were going to be okay. That belief was the only thing that was keeping you from begging for your life.

"Of course, just killing you would be boring." She examined her nails. "I think there's something much more interesting I can do."

Your eyes go wide as you realise what she meant and Crowley went to leap off of his seat, a gun appearing in Abaddon's hand and firing as you shouted.

Crowley clutched his shoulder, but couldn't move.

"Devil's trap bullet." Abaddon said with a grin. "You can thank the Winchester's later."

Panic started to grip you as Abaddon faced you, eyeing you up and down, and you began to fight against the wrist bindings.

Warmth blossomed in your chest and for a moment you thought the panic had led to something worse, but then you were suddenly pulled back into yourself.

"No." Amrobel spoke quietly, his eyes blazing through yours. "You will do no such thing to her demon."

Abaddon grins as Crowley looks horrified. "Well, well, the little girl has some smarts after all. Still won't mean much against me."

Amrobel healed the wounds on your body, making the binding disappear as well. "Y/N is a very prepared individual, very brave, very strong of heart, so if you think any more than what you have already done will be permitted, you would be very wrong to think it would be easy."

She snorts. "Aww, is the baby angel underestimating me?"

"You are a Knight of Hell, I am not foolish." He said calmly. "But what you intend to do to her cannot be done, not truly."

"Is that so?"

"A true claiming requires permission." He glances at Crowley, who's expression hadn't changed. "Something that she has no intention of giving."

"Oh really? And how does the baby angel know this?" Abaddon scoffs. "For all I know, you want her for yourself."

Amrobel screws his face up in disgust. "An angel cannot claim a pure blood. It is against our very nature to do so."

"Really?" Abaddon asked. "And who made up that rule I wonder? None of you have ever gotten curious as to what would happen?"

"No." He said firmly. "We are guardians to them, not takers. The only exceptions were the archangels, but on word from our father, even they wouldn't dare."

"Bunch of goodie two shoes." Abaddon rolls her eyes. "Do you even realise what sort of power is sitting at your fingertips?"

"Very aware." Amrobel said. "Which is why we are sworn to protect them from the likes of you."

"And I suppose you intend to stop me?" Abaddon laughs. "Oh baby angel, you have another thing coming."

Amrobel smiles though. "Oh, it is not me you must worry about."

Dean walked into the room then, the first blade in hand.

You watched with wide eyes through Amrobel as Dean took on Abaddon, you saw what the first blade allowed him to do, and as much as you were pissed at him, you couldn't help the fear that rose up on his behalf, wondering exactly what he had put himself through to get like this.

"He has taken a great risk in doing this, in more ways than one." Amrobel said to you. "But it has also made him a much greater threat to you."

"I can handle Dean." You growled to him. "Now, do you mind letting me back out?"

"No, it is currently safer for you there."

You rolled your eyes, wanting to argue, but too locked on Dean and Abaddon to try.

When Dean actually killed her, you found yourself frozen in shock, not having really believed that he could actually do it, Sam bursting into the room to stop him from continuing his tirade.

"Demon's never learn." Amrobel said, shaking his head, earning Sam and Dean's gaze.

"Amrobel?" Sam asked, causing him to nod. "Right. Do you mind if we have Y/N back so we know she's okay?"

"She is fine." He said calmly and then glances and Dean and Crowley. "But at the moment, she is still safer where she is."

"I doubt that," Crowley growls, his fingers digging in his shoulder for the bullet. "Why don't you just flutter off and leave her be?"

"Because I must do my duty," Amrobel said. "And seeing as her guardian is nowhere to be found, that means I must protect her from you."

"Yeah, great," Dean scowled. "Protect her from him but do it out of her body."

Amrobel shakes his head. "This is the safest place to protect her, and me."

Crowley lets out a string of curses. "Get the hell out of her!"

"You made a deal with her Amrobel." Sam said. "I'm pretty sure she won't like this."

"I did, and she is not liking this, however, assessing the real situation has been different." He nods to Crowley. "Especially with him. He is lucky I don't smite him on the spot."

"I'd like to see you try." Crowley growled, his eyes flashing red for a moment. "Now get out of her before I make you."

"I'm going to make sure she's far away from all of you before I even consider such a thing." He frowned at Sam and Dean. "I thought you'd understand that."

"Yeah, when you're not being a dick about it." Dean growled, stepping forward, blade in hand. "So why don't you-"

"Do you intend to use that on me?" He asked, looking at the blade. "You talk about protecting and yet you know that would kill her to."

"Chance I'm willing to take right now." Dean snarled.

There was an odd moment of silence before Amrobel's eyes went wide. "No!"

But it wasn't directed at Dean, your head throwing back as you ejected Amrobel, Sam and Dean shielding their eyes."

"Arsehole." You gasped, leaning down on your knees, drawing in deep breathes. "Can't believe...he thought...he could get away with that."

Sam was by your side in a flash, taking your arm as you staggered. "Easy Y/N, you have to take it-"

"Thanks Sam, I get it." You shrugged him off and stepped away. "But currently the last thing I want is help."

Sam looked hurt, but doesn't move as you stepped further away, breathing deep, trying to get your emotions under control. This had been the last straw, having Amrobel trying to keep you in check, and you were so close to just snapping that you could feel it physically hurting.

"Y/N-"

"I can't Crowley." Your voice broke. "I can't stand this anymore."

"You don't get to decide that." Dean growled. "After all you've put us through, we're not just going to-"

"After all I've put you through?" You rounded on Dean, your eyes burning with fury. "How dare you Dean, how can you even say that!?"

"If you had just listened to us-"

"Listen to the men that wanted me worse than dead," Your voice rose. "That sounds like a wondrous idea. I wonder what could've possibly have stopped me from doing it otherwise?"

"Sweetheart-"

Your eyes narrowed and your voice dropped. "Call me that again Winchester and I promise you'll find that pretty little blade of yours through your throat."

They stared at you, having never seen you like that before.

"This is where you back off Squirrel," Crowley warned, trying harder to get the bullet out of his shoulder. "Because I have little doubt that she actually will."

"Try me," Dean growled, holding the blade tight. "I just killed that bitch there, I'm hardly going to see you as a threat."

"Dean-"

"No Sammy, let her play this game. If she wants to do it, I'm certainly not going to stop her." Dean snapped, his eyes not leaving you.

"She's our friend Dean-"

"She's dating Crowley-"

"What's the matter Dean, jealous that someone got the idea to fuck me first?"

Dead silence fell as all three of them stared at you, your gaze cold on Dean, caution thrown to the wind, every emotion clear on your face.

"Why else would you agree to Y/F/N's plan so quickly? Because it sure as hell wasn't to protect me."

Dean took an angry step forward. "Of course it was-"

"No, it wasn't." Your eyes flashed. "And frankly I'm over being told it is. I'm over all of it. So if you really want to keep advancing with that blade, go ahead."

"Y/N," Crowley pleaded. "Please..."

"I've lost my mother, found out things about myself I didn't want to know, had my family turn on me, had those I considered family turn on me, is there anything else I've forgotten to make me want to have no had enough?" You snarled, taking a step closer, fury making your hands shake. "Go on Dean, I dare you."

"Dean-"

"That arsehole you've been defending," Dean cut in loudly over Sam, pointing back at Crowley, whose eyes went wide. "Was cheating on you while you were on the run. Is that what you wanted to hear Y/N? Is that what you wanted thrown on you too? Because this whole being the victim thing is getting old."

You stared at Dean, your heart pounding, shock settling over you, not quite believing that he had said, and not wanting to believe what he had said.

Crowley appeared in front of you, breathing hard, and you stared at the back his head. "That's enough," He growled. "You morons will leave her be."

"If she hadn't-"

"I don't want to hear it." Crowley hissed. "You boys have done enough. Y/N has had enough."

You picked up on his tone right away, going to step closer. "Crowley don't you-"

"-dare." You blinked and then cursed loudly, finding yourself in the large hotel suite. You stared around for a moment, only to find yourself alone.

You screamed, picking up the nearest object and throwing it at a wall, the vase shattering, but then you found you couldn't stop screaming, collapsing your knees and continuing until your voice broke and it hurt too much to keep going.

You gasped, resting against the floor, but no tears would come, too exhausted, too beyond feeling the pain that had settled around you. You could feel yourself shaking and clutched hard at the carpet, trying to reground yourself, trying to find a way through the pain.

Through bleary eyes, you managed to look up, the bathroom swimming before you and you staggered to your feet, using the walls and furniture to make it inside. You turned the shower on, hard and cold, wanting to feel anything but what your body was currently going through.

Curling up in the corner of the shower, you hugged your knees close to your chest and shut your eyes.

Crowley found you sometimes later, still curled up, shivering, under the cold water, but instead of getting you out, he joined you, pulling you into his arms. You just let him, not wanting to trust yourself to move, your body shuddering as one hand clutched him tightly, his presence grounding you more than what anything else had. Crowley was silent too, just holding you tight, resting his head against yours, clearly needing this as much as you.

The next morning, you awoke alone in the bed, clean pyjamas on, not really remembering falling asleep, just being in his arms under the cold of the shower. Rubbing your eyes, there was a small note on the bedside table and you sighed, deciding to ignore it.

You knew what it would say.

You ordered food, your stomach growling loudly, and while you waited, despite knowing better, you went and poured yourself a stiff drink. Blankly, you stared out the window as you waited for food, your body numb, the light was hurting your eyes, but it was still the least of your worries.

Eating made you feel sick and you picked at the food despite how hungry you felt. By the time you had forced yourself to clear the plate, the meal had been stone cold, leaving you still feeling hungry.

Grumbling, you filled up your glass again and then went and stretched out on the lounge, resting the cool glass against your head. It went back and forth like that for a couple of hours, you'd sit there, slowly finishing your drink, getting up to refill and sitting back down, closing your eyes once more.

Crowley returned after a while, but he didn't say a word as he walked over to you and you moved your legs up out of the way as he joined you.

For a long moment, you both sat in silence.

Crowley was watching you, you could feel it even with your eyes closed, but you chose to ignore it.

"What are you doing love?" His voice was quiet, unsure.

"Drowning myself." Your voice croaked and you winced, taking another drink.

He sighs. "I don't blame you."

Silence fell again and you finally opened your eyes, seeing him staring at his hands.

You licked your lips. "So...are we going to talk?"

He swallowed. "Are you up for it?"

"No, but it's not like my situation is going to get much worse." You took another drink, trying to ease the hoarseness of your voice. "Plus..." You left it hanging, realising you didn't want to say it.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly, still not looking back at you. "This...I..." Crowley scowled at himself. "I have no excuse love. To say the least, I have not been managing this well." He paused. "I never actually thought that I would be able to truly feel again, but this whole human blood...thing, it's been difficult, and everything feels ten times stronger than what I remember it ever being."

You remain silent, watching him as he thinks for a moment.

"I should've been better, I know that." He said quietly. "You deserved better. You never should've gone through all that, no matter what you had said, I should've come and found you," He shudders. "But I was scared Y/N. Seeing you after Sam's failed attempt...I had never been so overwhelmed by things before, and I didn't know how to take it. I didn't know how to handle it. So I ran from it, I tried to do anything to rid myself of those feelings but instead it just seemed to make it worse."

Crowley let out a slow breath, finally looking up to meet your gaze, his eyes shining. "Seeing you again, being so strong even after what Abaddon had done...done who knows what to you, I realised how wrong I had been through all this, and I had never regretted things more-"

"Stop." Your voice was quiet, but firm, and you held his gaze, making Crowley flinch. "The sorry was enough."

"What?" Crowley asked. "After all that-"

You sigh heavily. "Crowley...I don't want to beat yourself up. Please. I see, and put up with, a lot of others doing that to you already. The sorry was enough."

He frowns. "Love, you should angry with me-"

"I am." You said with a small smile. "But I'm angry at a lot of things right now, so I'm not going to throw all of that on you. You don't deserve that."

"You are too good to me." Crowley breathed. "You are too good for me and I really don't know how you have put up with me for so long."

"You asked me and I said yes." You kept the small smile, but finished your drink, placing the empty glass by your side. "Now come here."

Crowley stared at you as you shifted on the lounge, making room for him and then holding your arms open. Cautiously, he moved over to you, lying next to you and you didn't hesitate to wrap your arms around him.

"Please Crowley..."

He sighed and relaxed against you, his head resting against your chest, and you both shifted a little until you were comfortable. For the first time, you felt a strong tug of Crowley's emotions, similar to what he felt from you, and it made you realise that he needed you as much as you needed him.

"You don't have to do this love..." He mumbled against you.

Your fingers trailed into his hair, gently brushing them through. "I know, but just shup and enjoy it."

He chuckles weakly and then you felt him shaking, so you tightened your grip, and quickly realised that you were crying too, everything finally starting to come up, overflowing into shuddering breathes.

Night had returned by the time Crowley moved and he pulled away from you slightly, his eyes a little puffy, matching yours, and he looked down at you, wonder in his gaze as you brushed his cheek. "I love you."

Your breath caught in your throat but Crowley didn't give you a chance to really think about, placing his lips on yours for a moment, letting you let out a shaky breath as he pulled away slightly.

In that moment, you knew words wouldn't be enough.

You pulled him back to you in a hard kiss, one that made your teeth click painfully, but you didn't care, the kiss quickly becoming deep, passionate, saying everything that you couldn't put voice to.

But Crowley broke away again, his forehead resting against yours and you both caught your breath. "I need to hear you say it Y/N. I need to know."

You whimper a little, your arms wrapping around his neck as your body shook. "I love you Crowley."

With a half groan, half growl, he returned the kiss, his arms snaking around you, keeping you pressed to him and you knew that you needed this now more than anything.

"I'm yours Crowley." You breathed into the kiss. "Always will be...and don't say anything, because I knew what I was getting into the day I said yes."

Crowley brushed your nose with his. "And I love you all the more for it." He grinned. "Despite still wanting a proper answer."

"Is it not enough that I love you?" You asked softly. "Must I always have an explanation?"

He stared at you for a moment before he smiled. "No love, if you can live with me and what I am, then I can ask no more of you."

"Good." You pulled him back to you, wanting nothing more than to just be with him tonight.

Slowly, the kissing grew more heated until you sighed into him, squirming a little.

Crowley grinned against your lips and with a yelp from you, he scooped you up into his arms, carrying you over to the bed.

"Crowley-"

"I'm not about to let our first time be on the lounge love."

Your face flushed. "But-"

"Demon." He swept you into a kiss. "Now, do you want to do this?"

"Yes." You breathed into the kiss.

Crowley kept you in the kiss as he got to the bed, pausing only to kick off his shoes as he lowered you both down, lying next to you. You shivered under his touch as his hands lightly travelled under your shirt, brushing up along your stomach until he reached your breasts, where he paused, breaking the kiss.

"Love," You blinked up at him. "Why are you wearing a bra under your pyjamas? I certainly didn't do that."

"You're really going to ask that now?" You said, even as your face flushed. "Crowley, you know I'm damned self-conscious."

He looked at you, his gaze gentle even as he smirked. "Well, let's change that shall we?"

You didn't get much of a chance to think about what that meant before he returned to kissing you, quickly distracting you, his tongue teasing your lips before you granted him entrance.

After a moment, you realised that he was taking his time unbuttoning your shirt and you shifted, intending to help, except his hands quickly caught your hands, kissing them softly before placing them back around his neck.

"Please love, let me. I want to do this right." You pout a little, making him chuckle and kiss the tip of your nose. "For someone who is self-conscious, you are awfully eager to get them off."

Your face burned and you shifted a little uncomfortably, your body aching with need that you didn't even want to begin to try and describe. "Crowley, I-"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." You said without hesitation.

"Then trust me," He said softly, his hands returning to the buttons, hovering for a moment. "Trust me with you."

It dawned on you finally on what he was truly asking and you bit your lip a little before giving a nod.

He smiled and gently kissed you at first, a thanking, loving kiss, before the heat returned. You moaned into the kiss, still wanting more even as his fingers worked, but knowing that he needed to do this, not just for you, but for himself as well.

You sat up a little, letting him slipped the shirt from your shoulders, it quickly disappearing somewhere in the room before his hands returned to you, continuing their gentle touch, memorising your body, making you moan softly, your hands clenching at his jacket.

With a grin against your lips, he let you slip his jacket off, then letting your hands move to his tie, tugging it free, before finally starting on his shirt. He broke the kiss as you did and started down your jaw, distracting you completely as he nuzzled into your throat, earning a breathy huff, one of your hands slipping into his hair.

Crowley chuckled, kissing up to your ear to give it a nip. "This always got you hot quick."

You growl a little, giving his hair a slight tug as he nipped your ear again. "How many times have you infuriated me by doing it?"

"I will do it as long as you keep making those noise love." He breathed and scrapped his teeth down your throat, making you groan, arching into him, where he quickly used the opportunity to sneak his hands under you, unclipping your bra and slipping it off you.

You knew were exposed, but as his hand gently cupped your breast, you suddenly didn't care, wanting to keep feeling this, wanting Crowley to take you where you had never been before and wanting to forget everything of the last few months.

He moved over you as his kisses continued down your throat to your collarbone, gently easing your legs apart with his knees, allowing him to settle. You let out a small whimper as he began kissing your other breast before a sharp gasp let you as he took your nipple in his mouth.

A moan left you and you arched up into his mouth and hand, wanting more, his name leaving your mouth as he bit lightly, causing a growl to leave him, swapping his mouth over to your other breast and to rock his hips gently into you, his hardened length pressing against your core, making you bite back another moan, your hips bucking involuntarily.

You were breathing hard by the time he decided to move on, shooting you a grin as he started kissing down your stomach, kissing or touching every inch of skin he could until he came to your pants.

He looked up at you again, his eyes asking a single question, one you simply raised your hips to, even as a nervousness fell over you.

Your pants gone, Crowley's eyes travelled along your body, his hand resting on your hips, licking his lips a little. "Beautiful..."

You bit your lip, holding his gaze as he lowered his lips to you once more, continuing the rest of the way down your stomach, his hands massaging your thighs. He paused for a moment, seeming to grow frustrated with feeling own shirt on, and it was quickly tossed aside before his lips started on your thighs.

You gave a small groan, your head pressing back into the pillow, feeling as if your body was burning, every movement he made making it worse.

Crowley chuckled, starting a path back up your other leg. "Something you need love?"

You huffed. "You."

Another growl left him and he nipped your thigh. "Good."

As he continued further down your thigh towards your core, you felt yourself shudder, anticipation flooding you, making you whimper and strain a little against his hands which had returned to your hips.

"Crowley..." You pleaded.

His breath brushed over your core, causing you breath to hitch as you looked down at him, his fingers drawing lazy circles on your hips as he waited for you, a smirk on his lips as he saw the need in you gaze.

You bit your lip, knowing why he waited, wanting your permission. "Just tell me if you want to stop love."

You nod, your hands clenching at the sheets. "Please Crowley."

In three quick kisses, his mouth was on you, a hum going through him as you gasped at the sensation, whimpering as his tongue flicked through, tasting you. His hum turned into groan and you felt yourself tugged forward slightly, his fingers digging into your hips, pinning you to the bed.

Your head threw back, moaning as his tongue circled your clit. You desperately wanted to move, but Crowley's grip was firm, allowing only your back to arch and your hands to tighten in the sheets.

"Oh fuck..." Your groan, your nerve endings on fire, made even more so as Crowley growled, the vibrations making you buck, your muscles twitching as pressure built in your lower stomach. You tried to fight the feeling, whimpering as it seemed to just continue to build.

Crowley broke away for a second adjusting his position so that one hand was flat across your stomach, keeping you pinned, the other moving to one of your trembling hands, entwining it with his. "Don't fight it Y/N..."

Using his hand as your lifeline, you found yourself whimpering and moaning his name, your chest heaving, trying to keep in control, until it hit. His name tumbled loudly from your lips, mixed with curses, as your back arched, your muscles spasming, heat blossoming from your core. Your knuckles turned white holding his hand and you continued to curse as he didn't stop, keeping you high until you whined in desperation to come down.

Shudders left you as you collapsed back onto the bed, his tongue still occasionally brushing over your entrance, making you gasp and shiver. You drew in deep breathes, trying to get back into focus, still holding firmly to his hand.

Crowley gave a low chuckle, his voice hoarse with desire. "Need a minute love?"

"Ass." Was all you could get out, making him chuckle again and softly kiss your thigh.

"I could stay here all night love," He kissed your mound delicately, making you shiver. "You are divine."

"I think that would possibly kill me." You said thickly, finally feeling your body coming down. "Fuck."

"Don't think I'm done yet love," You looked down at him, making him grin, your face flushed and eyes heavy. "I've got to make sure you're ready for me."

You shiver, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be filled by him, the very thought leaving you panting a little.

Crowley's grin widened as he tugged his hand free from yours, moving to place both your legs over his shoulders, nipping your thighs as his hands moved to cup and squeeze your arse, lifting your hips from the bed.

Anticipation flooded you as you sunk back, watching him down your body, making him groan.

"Should've done this months ago." He said and returned his mouth to you with a deep sweeping of his tongue, instantly making you buck and gasp, your body now extra sensitive.

Crowley had no intention of just sticking to his mouth this time though, one hand caressing up your arse before joining his mouth at your core. You moan as his fingers slide through your folds, opening you up for his tongue, your body twitching as he teased your entrance.

"Crowley!" You gasped, his fingers moving to slip one inside you, causing you both to moan, your hips bucking, wanting more.

His moan turned to a low growl that rumbled deep through his chest, possessive, as he pushed a second finger inside of you, pumping them steadily. "So hot and wet for me. Mine and no one else's."

"Yours..." You said breathlessly, your eyes fluttering shut as he continued, totally enraptured by the movement of his fingers and mouth.

It didn't take much before you felt the pressure building again, Crowley's fingers curling inside you, hitting a spot that left you gasping, grinding into him, your heels digging into his back. The same growl rumbled through him, lifting you a little higher, applying more pressure into your core.

You opened your eyes, intending to watch him, only to find your breath caught in your throat. Crowley's gaze was locked onto you, his eyes red, burning with desire, and with a final thrust of his fingers, you came undone. Your world swam as your body arched into him, his name screamed from your lips as he suddenly sucked your clit into his mouth, doubling the intensity of your orgasm. Black spot appeared before your eyes, your thighs squeezing around his head, and you came even harder as a second orgasm suddenly gripped you.

Your world swam a little before finally coming back around. You found Crowley kissing a slow path back up your body, his eyes back to normal as they met yours, causing to him to smirk. "Are you alright love?"

Still breathing hard, you nod, not game enough to try and move to see if your body still worked, your legs feeling very limp.

He kissed lightly up the valley between your breasts, to your throat, before his lips grazed over yours. "Do you want me to stop?"

You shake your head, taking his face between your hands and bringing him in for a deeper kiss, moaning softly at the taste of yourself still on his tongue. "Don't stop." You muttered against his lips. "Please don't stop."

A low rumble went through him as he shifted, his hands starting to undo his belt. You used the distraction to kiss along his jaw and start down his throat, emboldened by your need for him, your hands trail down his chest.

Crowley cursed. "Y/N, you want me out of these pants properly, then you-" A strangled groan left him as your teeth scraped teasingly down his throat.

You smirked. "Looks like I'm not the only one that affects."

He growled but didn't stop you from continuing, instead his hands growing more desperate as he tugged at his pants. He was distracted again as your hands tugged into the waist band and he had to quickly pull them away with another muttered curse and pin them above your head, recapturing your lips in a searing kiss.

"If I let you do that, I can guarantee that I will come undone." He growled and then frustratingly snapped his fingers, his pants vanishing, and he gave a strained sigh of relief as he was freed.

"That was all I wanted to do, you looked like you were struggling." You smile at him, making him give a huffed laugh.

"I'm sure." He lowered himself to you, just brushing your entrance with his length, making your breathing quicken.

"Would I lie to you?" You asked softly.

"If you had to." He lightly kissed you. "This is your last chance to back out love."

You tugged at your wrists, still being held by one of his hands. "Let me go."

Frowning slightly, he did as you asked, but you reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss, a groan rumbling through him as he settled against you, rubbing himself against your entrance, making your hips rise slightly, wanting more friction as you moan softly into him.

Without breaking the kiss, he reached between you, guiding himself to your entrance, where he paused to look down at you.

"I will go slow," He promised. "If you need me to-"

"Crowley," You silenced him, placing your fingers over his lips. "I trust you."

Gratefulness passed over his gaze and he kissed you again before starting to ease into you. It was uncomfortable, feeling your body trying to accommodate his size, but not unpleasant. Crowley, true to his word, went slow, his gaze not leaving you as he entered, pausing at any sign of pain and waiting till you adjusted. Twice he had to pull out, giving your body a chance to rest for a moment, before trying again.

It seemed to take a while, but finally, he was fully sheathed inside you, both of you trembling a little as you hummed in pleasure, feeling incredibly full.

Crowley peppered kisses down your cheek and neck. "So tight..."

You knew he needed this as much as you, so you gave a testing roll of your hips into him, making him groan and hurried to catch your lips with his.

Crowley started slowly, pulling himself out about half way before easing himself back in, making you both moan into the kiss. Steadily it built up into a shallow rhythm, that had you both panting slightly.

"More." You pleaded, your arms securely around his neck as you let him control the pace, your teeth nibbling his jaw.

He captured your lips again with a growl and slid himself almost all the way out, your body shuddering at the feeling, before he pushed all the way back in, making you gasp at the slight roughness of it, pleasure curling through you.

"Y/N-"

"Don't stop." You breathed as he paused. "My god Crowley, don't stop."

It didn't take long before you were clinging to him tightly, whimpering with every rock into your body, his teeth working your neck, making sure that they left a mark as he growled with every hard press of your fingers into his back. You couldn't know that every noise you made was testing his control, his hands shaking as he caressed your sides, soothing the sting from his teeth with his tongue and lips, but when his name came whimpered from your lips, his resolve almost snapped.

With a heavy groan, his hands dug into your thighs, lifting them and getting you to hook them around his waist, the change of angle having you crying sharply into him, your heels digging in as your body shuddered.

His lips found your ear, making you moan, the desperation in his voice clear. "Please love..."

You simply hold him tighter, your breathing laboured as he started to move faster, your nails digging in, and Crowley growled. With a grunt, one of his hands knots in your hair, roughly tugging it so he can crush your mouth to his, shifting his other hand down to your clit, your cry muffled against his lips, as within a few strokes, the coil building inside you snapped.

Your mind blanked as your body arched, a silent scream on your lips as your body tensed, a lot stronger than before, intensifying still as his hips continue to meet yours, steadily losing his rhythm. Crowley groaned, his arm wrapping around you, your name tumbling from his lips as his hips jerk a final time and his teeth sink hard into your shoulder, joining you over the edge, your bodies rocking together, the hold on each other bruising.

Slowly, you both relaxed, breathing hard, letting yourselves come down.

You recovered first, your legs slipping from his waist, dropping heavily to the bed as one hand slid up his neck to run gently through his hair, turning your head to place soft kisses against him, your body buzzing and aching. Crowley shifted, tilting his head so his lips can meet yours in slightly breathless kisses as he carefully moved his weight off you, sliding out of you, causing you both to shiver.

Your eyes were shining as he looked down at you and you smiled at him, your hand brushing his cheek, making him lean into you with a soft moan, his hand capturing yours.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly.

You nodded. "Of course." Your voice made you wince, hoarse from the strenuous use from the last couple of days. "Despite what I sound like."

He chuckled lightly and kissed you again. "You sound perfect to me."

"Perfectly unable to talk properly." You grumbled and then stretched, your body protesting, but you didn't miss Crowley's look over you, causing you to smirk. "Haven't seen enough?"

Crowley snorts, his eyes flashing red briefly as he grins. "You have no idea what else I want to do to you love."

"I'm sure after that display I can hazard a few guesses." You laughed though, the weight of what had happened temporarily lifted from your shoulders. "But right now, I think I'm slightly more interested in feeling clean."

Before you could say anything, Crowley scooped you into his arms again, making you squeal, throwing your arms around his neck as he laughed. "Relax love, I've got you."

"Some warning would be nice." You grumbled a little as he carried you to the bathroom.

He hummed, not hiding his amusement. "Besides, I think I hot shower is in order this time, unless you want a bath?"

You settled against his shoulder, feeling tired. "Both sound good."

Crowley kissed your temple. "As my lady demands."

You smile, content, feeling happier and safer than what you had in a long time.


	5. Child

"I'm not going to tell him, you tell him."

"Are you daft? There's no way I'm going to tell him. You were buddy-buddy with him for months, you tell him."

"No way Sam, he'll kill me."

"He's going to kill both of us anyway-"

"You're better with words Sam, you can explain it."

"Explain what? We don't even know what happened."

The argument had been going on for a while, especially once the boys realised that they had no idea what to do.

After everything, Crowley had spent a few weeks with you in that hotel room, you being in no hurry to leave until you sorted out your own state, and in no hurry to see anyone else but him. Crowley hadn't expected you to want to see Sam and Dean though.

You sighed softly when he raised his concern. "Dean definitely warrants that concern Crowley, but not Sam, or Cas for that matter, both of them helped, I think I owe it to them to let them know I'm doing okay."

"So just call them." Crowley said. "You don't have to go and see them and put yourself at risk."

You smiled at him, folding your arms. "Crowley, I thought we sorted this out. I'm yours, remember? There's no going back from that."

This softened his stance, but he still frowned at you. "Are you going to use that on me whenever I tell you not to do something?"

Your smile widened and stepped forward to kiss him on the cheek. "Now why would I do that?"

He had simply rolled his eyes at you.

When you returned to the bunker though, things hadn't been what you'd expected, Dean having vanished after Sam told you what happened with Metatron, where Dean had died. At first, you thought little of it, glad of a distraction, helping Sam and Castiel try and find information on what had happened to Dean, but then something clicked and you turned back to Crowley.

Crowley paused as soon as you asked, not meeting your eye. "Why would I know what happened to Squirrel?"

You folded your arms, staring him down. "By the sounds of it, you've been more involved in this than you've told me."

He cursed under his breath before looking at you. "Love, I don't want to put more on you."

"Crowley..."

"Dean is doing fine if it's any comfort." He continued. "Not that you should be worried about him after what he's done to you."

"I'm worried about Sam," You said. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you what lengths he's already gone to find out what's happened to Dean."

"Moose needs to learn to let go, move on."

"What did you do Crowley?"

"Nothing," He said quickly but he shuffled a little under your gaze. "I may have not told the boys the entire truth about the mark, that's all."

You sighed. "Crowley, what is wrong with Dean?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." He comes over and takes your cheeks in his hands, his look pleading. "I want you-I need you to stay away from Dean. Things aren't exactly...well, at the moment. I'd feel better if you weren't involved."

"Uh huh," You said slowly. "Just as I'd feel better if I knew the truth."

Crowley stared at you for a long moment, before finally sighing and kissing you softly. "Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

He had taken you to some bar, one which you didn't recognise inside or out. What you did recognise was the voice singing bad karaoke.

You visibly winced as you saw Dean on stage. "This is what he's been doing?"

Crowley sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "More or less. I had thought that he would take his new state a bit more seriously, but I guess you really can't get rid of someone's faults without years of torture first."

You gave Crowley a confused sidelong glance for a moment before your eyes widened. "Dean's a demon?"

He nods once. "Between the blade and the mark, it doesn't allow its host to simply die. No doubt some condition from Lucifer when he passed it on."

"So you've just been hiding Dean away?" You asked. "Crowley I hardly think-" The air suddenly changed around you and you tensed, your gaze returning to Dean to find him staring directly at you.

Crowley stood slightly in front of you as Dean approached. "Still having fun destroying the classics I see."

Dean snorts, looking unamused. "Like you would know a classic when you heard it." His eyes locked back on you." Y/N."

"Dean." You kept your voice as passive as possible, despite the hairs rising on the back of your neck. Dean was powerful, there was no doubt about it, but there was something else in his gaze that had you worried.

Dean's lips pursed as he observed you, before his gaze returned to Crowley. "I hope you know she's still fair game."

Crowley shifted even more in front of you, a growl rising in his voice. "I don't think so Squirrel. She's mine and you will keep your hands off."

Dean raises his hands, a smirk touching his lips. "Like I'd want her after you anyway, but just so you know, she's only partly yours, I can practically smell it on her. You missed a step."

With that, Dean turned away, stalking back to the bar as you glared after him, anger curling in your stomach, wanting to say so many things to Dean's back, but Crowley wrapped an arm around you, returning you both to the hotel room before anything else could be done.

Crowley let out a slow breath. "I never thought I'd see the day when I missed human Dean."

You frowned at Crowley. "You've just been keeping him like this?"

Crowley sighed. "I was hoping he would be an asset."

"Dean? You really thought Dean Winchester wouldn't continue to be a stubborn pain in the arse?"

Crowley pursed his lips, noting the amusement in your gaze. "It's not my finest moment, is that what you want me to admit love?"

You shook your head, smirking a little. "No, I'd never do that to you." But your gaze then turns serious. "But I will say I told you so."

He sighed. "I knew that was coming."

"Crowley, we both know the lore." You said calmly. "And Dean just proved that. You know as well as I do that we can only avoid it so long."

He looked at you, thinking for a moment. "Love, I don't need a blood ritual to tell me that you are mine and I am yours. There are too many risks involved."

"What? So you're not even going to have a proper discussion with me over this?" You asked. "There's only so long that you can avoid it."

"Y/N...it's complicated, alright?" Crowley buries his hands in his pockets, looking uncomfortable. "It could do things, to you, things that I will not stand for."

"This is about my soul isn't it?" You asked bluntly.

"No."

"Liar."

"Demon." Crowley held your gaze, but after a moment broke away, looking uncomfortable. "I know what your blood would do to me love, I've been dealing with this damned addiction long enough, but a human taking on demon blood...apart from being near unheard of, could be exceptionally dangerous."

"I'm not an ordinary human-"

"Exactly." He said firmly, his gaze worried. "Which is why I can't risk you like that love."

You stared at him, feeling his fear. "Look at me Crowley." His gaze slowly moved to meet yours. "Now, I get it, I do, you're worried I'll go dark side," He half nods, but seems to think better of it, swallowing hard. "There is no proof that it'll work like that, no proof that it'll have any effect at all."

"That's hardly a safe assumption." He growled.

"No, but either way, angels aren't going to like this." You continued. "So I'd rather do this right Crowley, no matter the consequences. I'd rather go through the risk of this than have someone steal me away and do it against my will." He opened his mouth. "You know as well I do that it can be done."

Crowley sighed. "You are not going to let this go?"

"No."

He purses his lips. "And...and if something happens?"

"We'll deal with it, like we always have." You smiled as he went to say something. "It mightn't have been the best way, but we still sorted it out."

"After almost getting you killed."

"I'm a tough girl Crowley," You put your hands on your hips as if to prove the point. "You of all people should know that."

This got him to smile, although he tried to hide it, still not comfortable. "Y/N-"

You fold your arms. "Going to deny it are you?"

"Never." He said quickly. "I've seen you do more than I ever thought-" Crowley frowned at your grin before groaning. "I'm not sure I like being wrapped around your finger like that."

You give a short laugh, stepping in to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Admit it though, you've been like that since day one."

Crowley growls and wraps an arm firmly around your waist, pulling you to him. "Do you really want to test how far you can push that?"

You continue to grin, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I don't need to test it, you prove it every day."

He brushed your hair away from your face, looking both worried and annoyed. "There's no going back from this."

"I had accepted that already Crowley." You said quietly. "I love you and that's all that matters."

Crowley's gaze flickered between your eyes, reading what you wanted. "Love..."

You brushed your lips against his. "I know you're scared for me Crowley, and I'm not saying you don't have to be and I'm not saying I'm not either, but I don't want to be suddenly taken away from you, not again. I know this is risky, the damned lore scared me half to death, but it feels right Crowley."

"I know," He breathed. "And that scares me too." Without another word, Crowley pressed his lips firmly to yours, earning a heavy sigh from you.

The weeks passed quickly, Crowley put at ease by no changes in you, even if he did keep a close eye still, you always jesting it off. You felt no different, but it didn't mean much.

Crowley still pulled you out of the way when he agreed to let Sam cure Dean though.

"You don't get a choice in this one love, and it wasn't just me that said it." Crowley said firmly as you glared at him, having just been dragged back to the hotel room. "I'm sorry, but he is too out of control and I will not put you at risk."

Once you heard it was sorted, Crowley very reluctantly let you go and see, although he wasn't letting you go alone.

Dean was clearly uncomfortable. "Y/N."

"Dean." You just watched him, arms folded, choosing to allow him to make the first move.

"I tried to stop myself, I did," He said quietly. "And I know it's no excuse, but I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry."

"We'll work on it." You said a little stiffly.

He shifted. "Look Y/N-"

"Dean, this isn't going to be something we get over quickly, or at all." You said sternly. "So we'll work on it."

Dean flinches a little. "Fine. I guess I should just be grateful that you're talking to me."

"Don't hold me too high Dean," You said calmly, breaking away from Dean's gaze. "If Crowley and I didn't know what would happen, I wouldn't be holding him back."

Dean stared at you, shocked, as Sam looked concerned, but Crowley smirked next to you and you were quick to move the topic on.

Hunting now with the boys was tense, as they weren't sure how to treat you at times, Castiel being the only one who continued to treat you as if little had happened, although that meant you didn't miss the occasional concerned look. Crowley didn't like it, but after one or two discussions, including the suggestion of you hunting on your own, he knew there was little choice in the matter.

There was no way he was going to let you stay in the bunker though, and you had quickly agreed, everything still till raw for you to do that.

There was also a concern that no one had heard from your father since before Dean went dark.

"You're worried?" Sam asked you one day. "Seriously? After everything?"

"I'm worried because I don't know what he's up to." You said. "After what we've seen, it's of little comfort that he's gone off the grid."

"Hunters go off the grid all the time," Dean said from across the table. "He probably got too mixed up with Abaddon or Crowley's goons."

"Crowley said he hasn't heard anything," You argued. "And before you say anything, I can guarantee that he would tell me."

So between trying to cure Dean and searching for your father, life became constantly busy, enough that you were distracted away from any other issues.

Not that that currently helped Sam and Dean.

"Dammit Sam, no!" Dean said angrily. "I'm not going to tell him."

"You'd rather he came here after not hearing from her?" Sam asked. "I can guarantee he'd do worse to us then."

Dean huffed and threw up his hands. "Fine, but this is on you."

"How-" Dean cut Sam off as he pulled out his phone and called Crowley.

"Is there are reason you're calling me?" Crowley asked, annoyed. "Y/N is meant to be-"

"If you shut up for two seconds, you would know this is about Y/N." Dean growled. "We have a problem."

Crowley was there in an instant. "What kind of problem?"

"Crowley!" A tiny voice squealed and Crowley froze as you, or a much younger version of you, suddenly threw themselves around his leg and held on tightly.

Crowley stared at the younger you for a moment before slowly looking up at the Winchesters, who looked very uncomfortable. "What is this?"

"That," Sam sighed. "Is Y/N."

"We were hunting a witch," Dean continued. "Y/N took off on her own before we could stop her. As soon as we heard fighting, we took off after her, but-"

"There was a scream, a child's scream, and after we killed the witch, there she was." Sam finished.

Crowley looked back at you, only to find you grinning up at him, causing him to frown. "So the witch is dead?"

"Sammy shot him." You piped in and stepped back to make gun noises and pretend your hands were shooting things.

"That's our problem." Dean said. "It should've gone back but..."

Crowley shoots them a dark look before kneeling down to your level, fighting to hide his concern. "How old are you darling?"

You giggled and held up one hand. "I'm a big five."

"And what's the last thing you remember?"

"Going to bed." You thought for a moment. "Daddy read me a really happy story to stop the nightmares, but I don't think it worked."

This made Crowley frown. "How do you know who I am?"

"Sammy and Deany told me." You rocked on your heels, your face falling. "I'm not in trouble am I? Daddy always told me I seemed to like being in trouble."

You, as in actual you, watching in pained frustration as Crowley shook his head. You could see his heart breaking a little as he looked back at Sam and Dean, who both looked grim.

This was just as confusing to you as it was to them, the spell having hit you, a feeling of weightlessness taking you, and then you were staring at your younger self. It hadn't taken you long to realise that they couldn't see you and that you couldn't anything.

But you knew you weren't dead.

Crowley would've known.

You were tethered though, tethered too little five year old you, wherever she went, you had to go, and you were just glad that she was sticking with Sam and Dean.

Sighing, you ran your hands over your head, glad you could still feel something.

"Why didn't you call me earlier?" Crowley asked hotly.

"We were hoping we wouldn't have to." Dean said. "We thought-"

"How long has she been like this?" Crowley hissed, not wanting to hear Dean's answer.

Sam and Dean share a look. "About twelve hours."

You winced as Crowley's eyes flashed red, clearly controlling his anger because of the younger you, who had returned to the spot on the table, surrounded by paper and pencils.

"Twelve...what would possess you not to call earlier?"

It was something you had tried to tell the boys before you realised they couldn't hear you, nor see you. It was a terrifying feeling, existing but with no one able to acknowledge it. When that had first hit you, you'd had to sit down to calm yourself. You could understand now why ghosts went mad.

It had been a long twelve hours.

"We were trying to deal with it Crowley." Sam said. "We...we didn't want to worry you."

"You remain a terrible liar Moose." Crowley growled, causing the younger you to giggle. "What? Didn't think I needed to know that my significant other was now five years old?"

"Well, if we knew you weren't going to be a dick about it, sure." Dean said, making younger you gasp and look at Dean with wide eyes.

"Language Squirrel," Crowley said. "Wouldn't want to corrupt her."

You snort in amusement at Dean's expression, knowing full well what he was wanting to say. In reality, this was beyond frustrating for you, and a part of you was very annoyed that Crowley couldn't see you or sense you.

An idea hit you then and you walked over to Crowley, hesitantly reaching forward. You had tried this on Sam and Dean earlier, but to no effect, Crowley was different though, he was not only a demon but also connected to you.

Your hand touched Crowley's shoulder and you felt him tense, frowning as he looked around, but at that moment, you were thrown back, hitting the wall hard, being winded and having no time to recover as fingers closed around your throat.

A man dressed entirely in grey had a hold of you, his eyes covered by a heavy cloak, his fingers like ice around your throat and teeth bared as he pressed even harder.

Younger you started screaming.

Power seemed to surge around you and the man looked like he was in a fair amount of pain. For a single moment, both of you flickered into existence, making Sam and Dean draw their guns and Crowley to step forward, but it was gone just as quick, the man disappearing.

You gasped for breath as he vanished and rubbed your throat, your eyes wide, small pieces coming back to you.

Younger you sobbed and shook where she stood.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked quietly.

"Y/N?" Crowley asked, looking at where you were.

"Fuck." You cursed under your breath and climbed back to your feet. "What the fuck?"

"Y/N?" Crowley asked again and you realised that it had been momentary, that you were just as alone in this again as you were before.

"We all saw that right?" Sam asked. "We all saw Y/N?"

"Crowley?" Younger you held out your arms and Crowley didn't hesitate to scoop you up into his arms.

"We did." He said. "Which makes even less sense than having just the little one here."

"Tell me about it." You grumbled. "And what the hell was that thing?"

"It's the grey man." Younger you whispered from where she was buried against Crowley's neck.

"The grey man?" Sam asked.

"No one ever believed me," She whimpered. "Not even Daddy. He makes my room cold and tells me..."

"Tells you what darling?" Crowley asked calmly.

"Tells me it's almost time, that he will have me soon." She wildly shakes her head. "Don't let him take me!"

You licked your lips nervously, some part of you remembering the grey man now, remembering that he used to keep you up at night, and it never seemed to matter how much you talked about it, no one ever believed you.

"How the hell did Dad not pick this up?" You asked angrily.

"No one's taking you anywhere." Crowley assured her. "We'll sort this out."

"It looked like a ghost right?" Dean asked. "And that it had Y/N? So, what? Did the witch summon it?"

"That affects her when she's five?" Sam said. "I think there's more to it than that Dean."

Crowley's eyes were still scanning where you had been. "We need to assume that Y/N can hear us, but that is of little use when she can't talk back. At this moment, she's going to have the information, not us."

"I don't know anything." Younger you said. "Daddy would know though, Daddy knows everything."

"She has a point." Sam said slowly.

"Yeah, but we don't know where he is Sam." Dean said. "We've been about as close to finding him as we have to finding out how to get rid of this damned mark."

"Not that I'd let him near her anyway." Crowley growled. "And I can't believe you boys would actually consider it."

"We're a little low on options Crowley."

"For starters, let's try Castiel." Crowley said. "He should at least be able to see her, seeing as, for whatever reason, I can't."

"Why can't you see her?" Dean asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Crowley growled. "It would be a hell of a lot easier."

"You're not wrong." You grumbled.

"What makes you think Cas will be any different?"

"I don't, but seeing as he's more spiritually in tuned," Crowley shrugs, leaving it open. "Not only that, but none of us know what we are dealing with. I don't know about you, but I'd rather have all our cards in play."

"I gave up trying to tell them that." You growled.

Her head rose off Crowley's shoulder. "Is that why you yelled so much?"

You froze, staring at her as the three men looked confused.

"You can see me?" You asked.

She slowly nods.

It took everything you had not to sob in relief. "Y/N-" That felt weird. "Can you tell them I'm here?"

Younger you shakes her head. "He said I'm not allowed."

"Who said you're not allowed?" You asked, trying to keep calm as realisation slowly dawned on the boys.

"The grey man."

You swallowed, this was beyond anything you could remember, and you knew there was only one thing that would possibly get through to her. "Sweetheart," You inwardly winced at the word. "You can trust them. They won't let anything happen to you."

"But-"

"I know it's scary." You said softly. "But Crowley's got you. If you stay with him, he'll protect you. Now, you gotta be my voice here sweetheart, because I'm in danger and they can't hear me. For both our sakes. Please."

"You can see her, can't you darling?" Crowley asked younger you. "You can see...other Y/N?"

She held your gaze for a long moment, and even now, you knew that look, that look trying to decide what the right thing to do was.

"Yes," She finally answered Crowley as you sighed with relief. "She's right there." She points, all of them looking a little relieved, but it was most evident on Crowley.

"Sweetheart, tell them I don't remember anything about the grey man." You said, know you had to be quick.

"She doesn't remember the grey man."

"And I think calling Castiel is a good idea."

"She wants you to call Castiel."

"Will Feathers be able to see you love?" Crowley asked.

You shrug. "No idea."

"She doesn't know." Younger you squirms in Crowley's arms. "I'm hungry."

You couldn't help but smile at that. That used to be your escape mechanism for trying to get out of something you didn't want to do, and it usually worked.

"What would you like darling?" Crowley asked her, making you roll your eyes.

"Crowley, you can't just ask what a kid wants," Dean said. "They could-"

"Ice-cream." You said firmly, making Crowley grin.

You sighed, even as you chuckled. "Of course."

Younger you grinned at you and then stuck her tongue out at Dean, who rolled his eyes.

"Ice-cream it is." Crowley snapped his fingers and a wide assortment spread out on the table before her, causing her to squeal in delight.

"She'll be sick Crowley," Sam protested, watching as you squirm out of Crowley's arms and hurried over to the table.

"Her life is in danger, I figured it would cheer her up." Crowley shrugged before his eyes searched for you again, something unreadable in his gaze. "Well get you out of this love, I promise."

You just smiled sadly, even though no one could see, and leant against a wall, glad you could at least do that to watch yourself and wondering, not for the first time, why you didn't remember any of this.

The younger you sat and happily ate away at a bowl, something that she'd been quick to pick a scoop of each flavour for, a pencil in her other hand as she continued to draw at the same time.

Sam, Dean and Crowley were busy discussing what this could possibly be, Castiel on his way, while you were stuck between pacing, huffing with impatience, and trying to get the younger you to put in suggestions.

"I'm eating." She said firmly after you tried again and this made you laugh after a moment, shaking your head.

"Of course, I'm sorry sweetheart." You said. "I'll leave you be."

She happily went back to eating and drawing, making you sigh and walk back over to the boys, trying to read over their shoulders, having barely even glanced up when she'd spoken.

Being this close to them, to Crowley in particular, made you realise how much you missed being able to touch, how much it meant to you to be able to feel and you involuntarily shuddered, hugging yourself a little.

Dean slams the book shut. "This is ridiculous. We're getting nowhere."

"We've just to keep looking Dean." Sam said, turning back to the book shelves and looking for another book. "What choice have we got?"

"None." Crowley growled, stepping back to, but into you, making you yelp and him to stiffen as you stepped away as quick as you could, brushing off the feeling of cobwebs. "Bloody hell love, do you have any idea how odd that sensation is?"

You were about to answer when the room went cold and you snapped around, seeing the grey man. "Oh fuck."

Clearly, they all felt it this time too, younger you whimpering and diving under the table.

You stepped back, holding up a hand. "Look, whatever you are, you're going to have to back off."

He advanced and you swallowed. It had been worth a shot.

You turned to run only to come face to face with him again, the fingers back around your throat, the cold creeping into you again, making you gasp, your eyes watering, unable to breath.

"Y/N?" Dean called into the room.

The grey man smiled under his heavy cloak. "No one to save you."

Anger flared through you, your hands around his wrists tightening, the lights overhead beginning to flicker as you growled against the pressure on your throat, the man's smile fading before there was a sharp crackle through you and he was blasted off again, crashing hard into a bookshelf, making the shelf shake, once again both of you flickering into existence before disappearing just as quick.

You drew in deep breathes, feeling exhausted. "Holy shit."

Dean walked over to the bookshelf, looking over what had fallen. "What did you do Y/N?"

"If I knew, I'd tell you." You groaned and sunk heavily to the floor, your hands shaking.

"You can't sit down!" The tiny voice squeaked from under the table. "You need to be ready when he comes back!"

"Give me a break kid," You muttered, your eyes drooping. "That...took...a lot..."

"But if you sleep that's when he gets you!" She crawled out, eyes wide and desperate. "He'll kill you!"

You looked at her through half closed eyes. "Why don't I remember this sweetheart? What happened with all this?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know what you mean. Please don't go to sleep!"

Sighing, you rubbed your eyes and struggled back up, leaning over for a moment to breath. "Okay...it's okay...I'm not going to go to sleep."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked at you. "He can't take you. He won't!"

You laughed a little. "Thanks for the confidence sweetheart, but I'm not sure I can handle another round like that."

Sam looks up from the books, glancing from younger you to Crowley and back. "I...I know this suggestion isn't going to go down well..." You all looked at him, Crowley looking concerned and Dean frowning. "But what if..." He bit his lip, thinking.

"Spit it out Moose." Crowley said. "If you think something will help, then say it."

He glanced between the two again. "Crowley...when you possess something, you can figuratively use their abilities right?"

Crowley opened his mouth to answer before he looked at younger you and realised where Sam was going with this. "You want me to possess Y/N?"

Dean's jaw dropped as Sam shrugged. "Well, she can see our Y/N, and no offence to a five year old, but we aren't actually getting much out of her about the situation."

"Sam you can't be serious?" Dean asked. "This is still Y/N we're talking about."

Sam nods. "And they're together Dean. If Crowley can see Y/N through...Y/N, then this is going to work a lot better."

Crowley was shaking his head. "I can't do that to her."

"Crowley-"

"She's five years old Sam," He said firmly. "What kind of five year old needs to be put through that?"

"She clearly gets through it Crowley." Sam said and you silently agreed. "Whatever happens here, she gets through it, whether she remembers it or not, otherwise she wouldn't be here. We need information and until Cas gets here, we're running out of options."

Crowley clearly still didn't like it, nor did Dean.

"Sweetheart," Those tear filled eyes looked at you again. "You know you can trust Crowley right?" She nods and you glanced at him for a moment before looking back at her. "I want you to tell him that."

She shuffled on her feet. "But..."

"I know, but it's important." You paused. "He's scared too sweetheart. He needs a little encouragement."

The three of them were still discussing it as she nervously walked over to Crowley and tugged on his coat, quickly getting his attention and making him crouch down to her.

"What is it darling?"

"I..." She stares at her feet for a moment, her cheeks turning red. "I trust you Crowley."

Crowley stared at her, after a moment, he sighed, a smile coming to lips. "Love, you can't get her to use that on me."

You smiled. "Of course I can."

"She said she can." Younger you said making him chuckle and scoop her up into his arms.

"Well, she's just going to wait like the rest of us." He said and carried her back to the table. "Now, why don't you go back to-" He paused, his head tilting as he looked at the pictures on the table before placing her down in the chair and pointing at them. "Darling...who are these drawings of?"

Younger you blinked as you looked at the drawing. "You, Sammy and Deany."

You could feel Crowley's discomfort and went over. "What the-"

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, joining Crowley next to younger you.

Crowley picked up one picture in particular, the picture of three people. A taller one had an unusual blue glow around him, made of squiggles, the shorter one next to him had a mix of blue and black, the third, clearly dressed in black, was surrounded by black and red but had very clear red eyes.

"She...how does she know what you are Crowley?" Dean asked. "What is she seeing?"

"I don't know." Crowley said simply.

You stared at the picture, not ever remembering being able to do that.

Crowley knelt by her side again. "Y/N...what do you see when you look at me?"

She frowned, looking confused. "You?" She points at the picture. "That's you."

"And Sam and I?" Dean asked. "What's with the lines sweetheart?"

She blinks up at him. "That's what I see."

"How?" Dean asked, sounding harsher than he meant to, making her shift uncomfortably.

"Easy Dean," Sam said, resting a book down on the table. "She won't understand it, not at that age."

"Sam, Y/N has never mentioned being able to see this shit." Dean said, gesturing to the picture. "So what is going on?"

"I don't know." You breathed. "This is just as strange to me."

Younger you shook your head. "She doesn't know."

Crowley sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "How long till Castiel gets here?"

Sam checks his watch. "He should be here soon."

Dean rubbed his forehead. "Man, I need a drink." He turned and disappeared off to the kitchen.

Sam opened the book in front of him as he sat at the table, flicking through the pages. Crowley stood and stepped back, letting younger you go back to drawing, his expression conflicted. You sighed worriedly, this whole thing worse and worse the longer it went on.

Castiel turned up not much longer after Sam had left the room to go and look for something, looking concerned. "What has happened?"

"Honestly, we were hoping you could tell us." Crowley said. "She's been like for a while now."

Younger you was staring with wide eyes at Castiel, awe in her expression and you wondered exactly what she was seeing.

"You're pretty." She squeaked, blushing furiously, making Crowley frown.

Castiel smiled at her. "Why thank you Y/N, you are very pretty too."

She giggled, beaming at him.

Crowley cleared his throat. "Thank you Cas, but we need you to be able to talk to the older Y/N for us."

"Older Y/N?" Castiel asked and your stomach sank as he looked around the room. "Where is she?"

Younger you pointed at you. "There."

Castiel and Crowley followed her point, Castiel frowning. "So...there are two Y/N's?"

"You can't see her either?" Dean asked from the other end of the table, a beer in front of him as he went through another book.

Castiel shakes his head. "No."

Crowley cursed this time making younger you gasp. "Crowley!"

"Sorry darling." Crowley grumbled. "But we are running out of options."

"What is after her again?" Castiel asked, looking between Dean and Crowley.

"The grey man." They said together, making him frown. "I've never heard of such a creature."

"Yeah, join the club." Dean said, taking a long drink. "From what we can tell, it's some sort of ghost. It's already tried twice to get Y/N, but both times...something has happened that's stopped it."

"I think I can help with that." Sam said as he re-entered the room, carrying a box. "The lore is...dodgy at best, but-" He drops the box on the table. "The one thing it reiterates is children."

"Lore?" Dean asked. "What are you talking about Sam?"

Sam takes the book he was reading from his pocket. "Things that the Men of Letters never confirmed existed, but had a good idea of. The grey man is one of them."

"Wait, so we've just been looking and you've had it this whole time?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugs. "I needed it to find this." He taps the box.

"This better be good Moose." Crowley growled. "And even better if you've kept this from us."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Look, the book says the grey man goes after children, only the children can see him but he can't actually do anything to the children at that point in time."

"Okay..." Dean said. "Why?"

"Because children are pure." Sam said. "At least, that's the theory. This...thing...whatever it is, can only take those that become corrupted, at any point in their life, but it'll always return them to being children, to the last point that they were pure in their lives, which is when the grey man marked them originally."

An ominous air fell over the room and you swallowed, feeling your heart thud loudly. This was a little bit more than what you had expected and you weren't overly sure how you felt about it. "What the hell does that mean?"

"What does that mean?" Younger you piped up for you, although she was busy drawing away again, so it came off as a lot less serious.

There was a moment of silence as the four men seemed to take this in.

"Cas..." Sam began a little nervously, eyes flicking to Crowley for a moment. "What would happen if a demon possessed a child?"

Castiel and Crowley frowned. "I don't like what you're implying Moose."

"Just, hear Cas out Crowley." Sam said, his gaze going back to Castiel. "What would happen Cas?"

Castiel scratches his neck. "Well, technically nothing, apart from the memories of whatever the demon does with them, a child is just a vessel like any other human-"

"See." Crowley said quickly, but Castiel shakes his head.

"She may be different." Castiel said, making Crowley scowl. "I mean...she is a pure blood Crowley, meaning things for her are a lot more sensitive."

"Is that why she can see us?" Crowley asked after a moment.

"See us?" Castiel asked confused and Crowley points at the pictures laid out on the table, Castiel tilting his head to look at them and frowning. "Not...not in any pure blood I've heard of. That...that is a rare gift, even rare than purebloods."

"Oh good, more to work out." Dean said. "Do we have a way to kill it Sam?"

Sam bites his lip. "Maybe, but it's a long shot." He takes out his knife and slides it along the edge of the bow before cracking it open, another ornate box inside. Dean joined him as he pulled it out and carefully opened it, a sword within.

Sam's hand quickly grabbed Dean's as he went to grab it. "Don't." He said quickly. "This sword isn't made for the living Dean. It'll kill you if you touch it."

Dean quickly pulled his hand away and looks at the sword. "And that's going to be of use how?"

"Because at the moment, that's the state that Y/N is in." Sam said and then nods to younger you. "That's her physical form, her other form, the one we know, is her spirit, from what we can tell anyway, that's why little Y/N can see her."

"I'm not little," She said a little indignantly. "I'm a big five Sammy."

Sam smiles and shakes his head. "Of course you are, but you're a lot small than us still."

She beams at him and pokes out her tongue.

"Okay, then why can't they see her?" Dean asked, nodding to Castiel and Crowley.

"Especially me." Crowley grumbled.

"I don't know." Sam said. "I mean, this is a very specific set of circumstances and again, they never proved this thing existed. We've just got to work with what we know."

"We know squat Sam." Dean said.

"We know some." Sam retorted and looked at Crowley. "Because think about it, she's only five years old, what other reason would there be for her returning to this age?"

Crowley frowned. "What are you trying to imply?"

"That whatever you do here affects her, whether she remembers that or not." Sam said. "We need to talk to her Crowley and you're the only one with the capabilities of doing that."

As the two start to argue, Castiel is distracted by a small tug on his coat, younger you beaming up at him. "Cassie?"

"What is it Y/N?" He asked, smiling a little at your nickname.

She holds up a piece of paper to him. "I drew you a picture."

Castiel takes it off her and looks at it, before stilling. "Um...thank you Y/N. You are very talented." He then looks at the others, Crowley looking less than impressed by whatever Sam had been saying, Dean flicking through the book that Sam had had. "Guys?"

They look at him and Castiel holds the picture up, it was messy, as most five year olds drawing were, but it was clearly him, with the coat and dark hair and blue eyes, but what they all stared at were the wings.

"Y/N..." Dean's voice was quiet as he looked from the picture to younger you and back again. "You can see Cas's wings?"

"They're pretty." She said and went to reach forward towards Castiel but Crowley quickly grabbed her hand. "Aww, Crowley..."

"You can't touch Y/N." He said gently. "It's...dangerous."

"Dangerous is not the word I would use." Castiel said slowly and a little uncomfortably. "But no Y/N, you cannot touch them."

She pouts, but says nothing.

"What is going on?" Dean asked. "How can she them?"

"I don't know." Castiel said. "The only one that can answer that is Y/N, whether she remembers or not."

You looked up from the sword. "How am I supposed to answer without remembering?"

Castiel was looking at Crowley. "I understand what Sam is saying and I happen to agree. I know you are uncomfortable, that you feel that this is what triggered these future events-" You froze. "But unless you want me to do it with her permission, then we have no other choice."

"Oh what and like I'm going to bloody just take her?" Crowley growled. "It'd be safer if you did."

"Crowley..." Your voice was quiet, realising what was happening, even though you knew he couldn't hear you.

"Blame yourself all you want," Castiel said. "The fact is Crowley, this could very well be the event that leads to you two being together."

You watched Crowley think, your heart hammering.

"You're seriously thinking about this?" Dean asked. "After all you've been through with her, you're really going to sit there and think about it?"

Crowley rubs a hand over his face. "No. Of course not. I...I just want to understand."

"We can work that out later." Dean said. "Right now, we need to talk to Y/N."

You felt it this time, the subtle shift in the air and you looked around, eyeing off the sword for a moment before thinking better of it, you didn't know what it did yet. "Sweetheart, go to Crowley."

She didn't need telling twice, tugging hard on his hand with a smaller whimper and clinging to him, making the four men tense.

The air puffed out in front of you and you swallowed. "Come on arsehole."

The blow was sudden and swift, sending you flying across the room, crashing hard into more shelves, the books flying as you landed hard on the ground.

"No!" Your young voice stood out. "Leave her alone!"

You looked up as Crowley scooped her into his arms again, anger pulsing through you as you saw the grey man striding fast towards you.

"Time for you to die now." He hissed, picking you up and throwing you again, sending hard into the table, making you grunt in pain.

The sword was just out of reach.

"Shit." You made to dive for it, but the grey man's hand wrapped around your leg and dragged you back, pinning down to the table, one hand around your throat this time, the other plunging into your body.

You screamed.

The lights flickered throughout the bunker, the four men looking around frantically, unsure of what to do.

"Dammit..." Dean breathed.

Younger you was crying into Crowley's chest, clutching him tightly, the only one able to hear you.

Pain burned through you as you continued to scream, legs kicking uselessly out, and his hand twisted, making it worse, making your world swim.

Sam looked at Crowley desperately. "Make her scream."

"What?" Crowley looked at Sam.

"Make Y/N scream Crowley, it's the only thing that's going to save her!" Sam said quickly.

Crowley looked at younger you in his arms. "Darling, I need you scream."

She shakes her head.

"You need to help her. You can chase him away if you scream."

Over the roar of pain in your head, you could hear them. "Do it!" You screamed, starting to taste blood on your lips.

She whimpered, glancing over, her eyes wide with terror, watching as your back arched through the pain. Her lip trembling, she drew in several breaths before she screamed, loud and piercing.

The grey man hissed in pain, the two of you once again flickering into existence and you felt his strength wane and it allowed you to focus a little, letting the anger course through her.

With a low growl, the same power flared through you again and he was violently thrown off, vanishing this time before he hit anything. You stayed in existence long enough to curse, your body slumping back on the table.

"Y/N!" All four of them shouted but it was too late as you vanished too.

"We don't have a lot of time left." Sam said, looking at Crowley. "We need to do this now, I don't think she'll survive another attack."

Crowley nods, his grip tight on the sobbing form in his arms and he gently puts her down. "Are you okay Y/N?"

She shakes her head.

He smiles gently and wipes the tears from her face. "Well, you're going to be, okay? But right now, I need you to do something for me. Do you think you can do something for me darling?"

Her lip trembles. "I...I don't know..."

"Well, I need you to trust me." He said. "I'm not going to hurt you, ever, I promise."

Slowly, she nods. "O-okay Crowley..."

Crowley looks at the others. "I want it clear that I don't like this."

"We don't have a choice." Sam said. "Trust me, we don't like this either."

"If Cas does it-" Dean tries to cut in but it cut off by a glare from Crowley.

Crowley moves to a chair and sits, looking back at young you, who looked so scared. "Y/N...do me a favour darling and close your eyes."

"But-"

"Please." Crowley said softly and with a small whine, she complied.

Crowley shoots a look at Sam. "This better work Moose."

Without another word, he left his body, the smoke curling around and entering younger you.

The three men didn't say anything, but it was a little unnerving when Crowley opened her eyes and they were red.

"This...is not fun. What she sees is very confusing, it's a good amalgamation of colours and noise, I don't even know how she sees through it." Crowley growled, but it made Dean snort, biting his lip. "Oh, keep laughing chuckles, we'll see who's laughing when-" Crowley froze, seeing you still collapsed on the table. "Y/N?"

You didn't move.

Crowley hurried over, climbing onto the table so that he could look at you, your face pale and breathing shallow. "Y/N can you hear me?"

Your eyes didn't open until he gently touched your face, even then, it was clear you weren't seeing clearly. "Crowley..."

He frowned in concern, ignoring the others that were watching in tense silence. "What is happening love?"

"I wish I knew..." Your voice was quiet, your eyes closing again. "But that hurt like hell."

"If you were in Hell, you'd know it." Crowley said, making your mouth twitch in a small smile. "Listen love, you need to get back up, we're going to need you for this."

You just groan but don't have the strength to move.

"I know you're hurting, I can see it," He said, looking worried. "But you and her, you're the only two that can fight that thing."

"Crowley?"

"Yes love?"

"Will the sword kill me?"

Crowley looked at the sword and sighed, looking back at the others. "She wants to know if the sword will kill her."

"In theory, no." Sam said. "She's...well, she's virtually a ghost with a physical link. She should be able to use it just fine."

"Sounds comforting." You opened your eyes again to look over at them, even that feeling exhausting. "And if it doesn't work that way?"

"We'll deal with that if it comes to that." Crowley said. "Right now, you need to get up."

You hummed, closing your eyes again for a moment. "Do you know how weird this is?"

"Yes."

You smiled. "You've been so good with her."

Crowley's face turns a little grim. "Come on love, no talking like that. Get up."

You lick your lips and sigh before trying to sit up, your arms shaking as they tried to support you and you groan, clutching your stomach a little. "Good god he did a number on me."

Crowley rested a hand on your shoulder, the touch bringing the comfort you had been needing and you looked at him. "We need to find Dad after this, I somehow think he's going to have a lot of the answers."

He nods. "Whatever you want love, but let's deal with one thing at a time."

You struggle to stand, your legs shaking as you breathe hard. "Shit. Crowley..."

"You can do this love." Crowley said. "You have to do this."

Sam stepped forward. "I know you won't want to hear this Y/N, or you either Crowley, but would there be any reason why you could be sharing power?"

Crowley frowned at Sam as you concentrated more about staying on your feet, but it was Dean that answered with a heavy groan. "You guys didn't?"

Everyone looked at Dean, you giving a weak chuckle. "Well, he looks a bit differently on it now doesn't he?"

Dean was clearly caught between disgust and curiosity. "You really did, you went through with it?"

"Does that really matter Dean?" Crowley asked, looking annoyed.

"Well it answers his question doesn't it?" Dean said. "Not that it makes it any better, still damned-"

"Thank you." Crowley growled. "But to answers Sam's question there is a reason, but Y/N hasn't exactly been showing any signs of it."

Sam hesitates. "Not entirely true..." When Crowley stares at him, he winces a little. "Just small things I've noticed, I don't even think she's been aware of it herself, but if she's needed something, it's been there, just like that."

You frowned, still holding your stomach. "What?"

"Care to elaborate a little more?" Crowley asked.

"It's just so weird..." Dean mutters, earning a glare, looking odd from a little girl, from Crowley.

"It started with a pen," Sam explained. "I know Y/N has a bad habit of forgetting one when she's researching, and this was true the other week, but sure enough, there it was and then gone just as quick. I know it doesn't seem like much, but again, this time in the kitchen, she couldn't reach a mug. The mug came to her, I expected her to notice that one, but still, nothing."

You were frowning, as was Crowley. "That's...not exactly how I expected it to manifest, if at all."

"Yeah, right, like you didn't do it for some sort of gain." Dean said, making Crowley step forward, but you touched his shoulder.

"Don't." You said softly. "He's always going to be a jackass, just leave it."

Crowley nods, making Dean frown. "What did she say?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." Crowley snapped. "Samantha, is there a reason why this is important?"

Sam nods slowly, unsure. "It could be an advantage that this thing won't be expecting. If Y/N can tap into it, in theory, it should be enough to kill it, with or without the sword."

Crowley clearly doesn't like option. "Right."

"Crowley..." You sighed. "We knew there was a chance this would happen."

"I know, but throwing this on you so quickly-"

"And the alternative?"

Crowley looks at you, his expression grim and worried.

"You are worried for Y/N's soul?" Castiel suddenly asked, making Crowley grit his teeth. "I understand that you think it would work that way, but as a pure blood, it works differently. She gets to choose."

"Choose?" You asked, raising an eyebrow. "As in choose where I go when I die?"

"She gets to choose where she goes when she dies you mean?" Crowley asked, making Castiel nod.

"Most went to purgatory," Castiel said. "Obviously because they were often vampires or werewolves, but they still had the option."

"They didn't pick Heaven?" Dean asked, frowning. "I mean, seriously?"

You shifted uncomfortably. "This is currently irrelevant. I'm feeling like shit here."

"It's very relevant," Crowley said. "Love, if you get to choose-"

Despite your exhaustion, your look to him was clear. There was only one way you would ever pick.

His.

"Y/N-"

"Do you really want to have this argument now?"

He paused, feeling all eyes on him, before he sighed. "Fine. How would she tap into it?"

"She's already been doing it," Sam said. "I'm sure focusing would help."

You sighed and rubbed your head, focusing seeming out of the question. Unfortunately, you had very limited options.

Crowley was watching you, seeing everything, wanting nothing more than to just pull you away from all this, but knowing he couldn't.

You noticed, giving a small smile. "Relax love, I always pull through."

He sighs, hiding his smile. "Can you really see me?"

"No," You said. "That was news to me too." You looked at the sword and nod. "Alright. Let's do this."

"Y/N-"

"I'm sure." You said, confirming with a nod. "Now, get to being you. You...you don't need to see this."

Crowley looks taken back for a moment before chuckling weakly. "Who's protecting who here?"

"You really want me to answer that?"

Shaking his head, he walked back over to his body, but pauses. "You be careful love."

"I love you to." You said, smiling.

Crowley hesitates again for a moment before sighing and closing his eyes, leaving younger you.

Younger you swayed a little, blinking at Crowley. "That was weird."

Crowley gets up and scoops her back into his arms. "Yes it was darling. Are you alright?"

She nods before curling up against him. "I'm tired."

"She is getting weak." Castiel said. "We need to do this now."

"Don't I know it." You growled, limping around to the sword, looking a little tentatively at it, letting out a long breath. "Alright."

You knew that this could go wrong, knew that this could be the end of everything, but there was no other choice.

Carefully, you picked up the sword, which felt warm in your hand.

The four men watched the sword disappear.

"You okay Y/N?" Sam asked.

"My head hurts." Younger you mumbled, buried against Crowley.

"Sweetheart-"

"Leave her be Moose." Crowley said. "Y/N is fine."

"How can you-" Sam stopped at Crowley's look, concern flashing across his gaze, but Sam nods.

There was a moment of silence, you were getting used to the sword in your hand, eyeing the room, readying for the grey man.

There was no other option. You had to do this.

Drawing in deep breathes, you let the thoughts of worry leave you, you let the feeling of being drained fade away. You shuddered, suddenly very aware of a feeling within you, one that wasn't entirely unfamiliar, but definitely one you had never noticed before.

The cold started in the room, everyone feeling it.

Younger you squirmed in Crowley's arms, a small whimper rising from her throat.

The grey man appeared before you, cautious this time.

"You are meant to die." He said softly.

"I'm meant to be a lot of things." You said, holding the sword steadily in front of you. "Doesn't mean that I just give into it."

From what you can see, his face contorts into a snarl. "If you think that you can defeat me, blade or not, you would be very wrong."

"Well, I won't know until I try." You said.

His attack was fast, intent on disarming you, but you'd been hunting long enough to know the signs, to know how a fight could work. The sword in your hand swung, the grey man just dodging, and with an angry hiss, he tried again and again to get to you. The sword mightn't have been natural in your hands, but you had enough of an understanding of the basic movements to keep the grey man at bay.

Except it was tiring.

You could feel your strength wavering, still exhausted and in pain from your ordeal with him before, and this had the worry returning.

He could clearly feel it. "Why not just make it stop? Give into me, I can take the pain away."

You glanced at the four men, all tense, all eyeing the room, waiting for something to happen, your gaze lingering on Crowley. "Some things are worth the pain."

"No!" You were blasted back, the sword scattering away as you skidded across the floor, the men jumping as the sword appeared. Winded, you scrambled up to your feet and dove for the sword, the grey man marching towards you, holding out a hand.

There was tug on your ankle and you crashed hard into the ground, tasting blood as your teeth snapped down on your tongue as your chin his the floor and you yelped in pain. A violent energy curled around you and you threw it back, sending him staggering back, giving you enough time to grip the sword again and bring it back up in front of you, spitting out a mouthful of blood as the grey man growled.

A part of you froze in fear, his hood having been thrown off, dead, milky white eyes looking at you with burning fury, the eyes rimmed with red, cracking with blood trickling down. Another part of you pitied the creature and you looked at it grimly.

"That's what this is about?" You asked quietly. "Recapturing what you were? Recapturing life?"

"You know nothing." He hissed angrily and leapt again, hands out stretched.

You weren't sure what made you do it, but you let him hit you, crashing back into another bookshelf, his hand burying into your stomach making you scream a little before gritting your teeth through the pain.

"No!" The small voice reached you. "Leave her alone!"

The voice sounded so small and weak compared to earlier and you growled, suddenly pushing forward against him, getting your back away from the wall.

Younger you whimpered in Crowley's arms, tears streaking down her face. "No..."

Your hand curled around his wrist, the other tightening on the sword. "I don't think you get it buddy," Your voice was low, working through the pain, blood still filling your mouth. "I'm not going anywhere."

He tried to push back, but quickly found he couldn't, instead, you pushed him another step away, twisting his hand free of you and let the power flow your fingers. He hissed, contorting, trying to get away from you, but unable to break away now.

There was a buzz in your ears, drowning out the sound of your heartbeat.

"The grey man is scared." Younger you said, her eyes wide as she watched. "I've never seen him scared before."

"Scared of what?" Dean asked.

"Her."

Sam and Dean share a look, Castiel eyeing the room while Crowley looked worried. "Why...why is he scared of her darling?"

"She's fighting back. He's not used to them fighting back."

Power flared through your hand and he hissed in pain, his other hand snaking out, trying to hit you, only to be stopped short just of hitting you.

"Enough." You growled. "This ends now."

You didn't feel the two of you come into existence this time, nor hear the sharp intakes of breath from the four men, instead you were entirely focused on the sharp crackle of energy that you sent through your hand and into the grey man.

His hand crumbled under yours, making him shriek and stagger back, the blackness increasing up his arm and there was nothing he could do to stop it. You stepped forward, following him, the sword steady in your hand, your entire focus on him.

This was ending now.

You swung, hard, the sword burying deep.

An unearthly silence fell temporarily through the room before there was a high pitched ringing that had all of you covering your ears in pain, Crowley protecting younger you as she started to cry from the pain. You staggered back, the sound drowning out everything, your eyes watering and you swear you can feel blood between your fingers as darkness and light seemed to start to pour from the grey man.

With a final, unearthly shriek, seeming to echo down to your bones, he exploded, throwing you back.

The silence this time was a little different, tense, waiting for something else to happen.

"He's gone." Your younger voice squeaked, looking at the room. "He's really gone!"

She squirmed out of Crowley's arms and just as her feet hit the floor, she vanished.

"Y/N!" All four of them called but were greeted by silence.

That was when Crowley's stomach twisted and his gaze snapped over to you, slumped motionless against the wall. "Y/N!"

There was a lot of blood, an impossible amount of blood, mostly from the wound in your stomach, but also dripping from your mouth and your ears. Crowley was next to you in a heartbeat, his hand applying pressure to the wound, his other checking your pulse.

"Don't you dare Y/N," Crowley growled, his voice breaking. "Not after all that. Don't you dare."

Castiel joined his side, looking you over. "She doesn't have much left." Reaching over, he rests a hand on your shoulder, his hand glowing as he healed you.

Sam and Dean watched on, Dean still glancing around the room. "Where...where is the younger Y/N?"

Sam swallows. "I guess...I guess we have to assume she went back to her time?"

"I hate assumptions." Dean growls.

"Yeah..." Sam agrees, looking grim back to you.

Castiel moved his hand away but you still didn't move, your breathing shallow.

"Y/N?" Crowley asked, cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing you cheek. "Can you hear me?"

Castiel frowned at your lack of response and rests two fingers on your forehead. "She's in a very deep sleep. I...I do not think that I can wake her up."

"What do you mean you can't wake her up?" Crowley asked, his face flashing with anger but moving quickly back to you.

Castiel shakes his head, dropping his hand. "I cannot wake her up. She must come out of this herself. It...it is not entirely unheard of after being through so much, especially having shifted several times between the spirit world and the real one. No doubt it is more than just her body that is exhausted."

"Will she be alright?" Crowley forced himself to ask.

Castiel looked back at Sam and Dean for a moment, who both knew what he was about to say. "I don't know. I honestly don't know."


	6. Memories

It had been days now and the longer this went on, the worse Crowley got, no matter what anyone said.

“You just need to let Y/N rest.” Castiel said again. “There’s nothing else that can be done.”

“Everything feels fine,” Crowley growled, downing another glass of whiskey. “You can’t blame me for being worried.”

“No, but we can blame you for being a pain in the arse about it.” Dean said. “We’re all worried here.”

“You don’t get to speak Squirrel as you have no idea what it’s like.” Crowley said coldly.

Dean opened his mouth to argue but Sam kicked him under the table, making Dean glare at him. “You’re taking his side?”

Sam nods but remains silent, even as Crowley fills up his glass again, seemingly indifferent to the comment.

It was even longer before he came up with an idea.

He’d retreated to your room, having gotten tired of unhelpful company and them tired of him. He was watching you, trying not to let the worry gnaw at him, after all, you were only sleeping.

But there was only so many time he could tell himself that.

He blamed himself, a lot, for what happened, and it was slowly eating away at him that he could do nothing but sit still and wait. He’d never admit it to anyone but you, but he was scared, scared that it was something this new power was doing to you.

When he’d seen your eyes flash red, he’d felt so much at once that he wasn’t overly sure how he really felt about it.

As he watched you breath easily, an idea came to him, one he wasn’t overly happy about but he knew it would let him find out what was going on.

He hurries out to the others.

“What now?” Dean groans. “Why can’t you just sit and wait quietly?”

Crowley shoots him a dark look before looking at Castiel. “I have a solution.”

Castiel raised an eyebrow. “Why are you telling me?”

“Because to do it, I need your help.” Crowley said. “And as much as I don’t like it, I think it’s going to be the only way to get her back.”

“If you’re about to suggest what I think you are, why don’t you just do it?” Castiel frowned. “Why do you need me?”

“Because I need the tattoo removed first.” Crowley said.

“You want to possess her?” Sam asked suddenly. “Crowley I hardly think-”

“It saved you didn’t it?” Crowley snapped. “Look, the sooner I get Y/N back, the sooner I’ll be out of your hair.”

Dean was looking a little confused. “Y/N doesn’t have an anti-possession tattoo.”

Crowley rolled his eyes. “Of course she bloody does, I asked her to get one.”

“You-what?”

“I could hardly have demons coming and taking advantage of her if they found out, could I?” Crowley asked. “Especially after Abaddon’s threats.”

“Oh, so you protected yourself, well that’s great to know.” Dean growled.

“It was for both of us, I assure you. You can’t even begin to imagine what torture-” Crowley shook his head, stopping himself. “Look, this is beside the point. I’m trying to help her here dammit.”

“Then let’s go help,” Castiel said. “This arguing isn’t getting us anywhere and I think this is valid solution.” He shoots a glare at Dean. “I would think you should know better.”

“You can’t seriously want him to possess her?” Dean asked as Castiel followed Crowley out. “Cas?”

Sam and Dean followed after them.

“Y/N and Crowley are already bound Dean, this will make little difference.” Castiel said.

“Doesn’t make me feel any better about it.” Dean grumbled as they entered your room, you still motionless on the bed.

“You’d rather she just kept sleeping?”

“Honestly-”

“Dean, enough dude.” Sam cut in quietly. “Just leave it be.”

Dean folds his arms and falls silent.

Crowley snorts in amusement before carefully lifting up your shirt, the tattoo sitting just above your hip.

“She’s not going to be happy about having to put it back.” Castiel said, even as he rested his hand over and it starting to glow.

“I’ll deal with that later,” Crowley sat next to you on the bed. “For the moment I’m more worried about what’s going on now.”

Castiel stepped back. “If you’re sure.”

Crowley rolled his eyes before smoking out and into you.

He was a little stunned when he found himself in a park at the centre of a small town, a few people around. It wasn’t somewhere he recognised and certainly didn’t recall you ever mentioning something like it.

“I was starting to wonder if you’d turn up.”

Crowley spun and found you smiling tiredly at him from a park bench and he gave a sigh of relief. “Y/N.” He then looks you over, noting the tired lines under your eyes and the exhausted set in your shoulders, his eyebrows knitting in concern. “You look terrible love.”

You chuckle weakly. “Thanks. I like how that’s the first thing you say to me.”

Crowley moves and sits next to you, taking your hand and kissing it. “I’m sorry love, but if you’re aware of this then why haven’t you come back?”

You held his hand tightly. “I’ve tried, trust me I have, but I’ve been so exhausted that I haven’t managed it.” You sighed. “Not only that, I’ve been chasing memories, looks like I lost a fair bit.”

He watched as you looked around the town, eyes a little distant.

“I used to enjoy coming here,” You said quietly. “It always was something I looked forward to.”

Your gaze moved over to a car pulling up, opposite a white house and Crowley watched amazed as Y/F/N and the younger you got out, Y/F/N picking you up.

“I want to show you something,” You said quietly. “If you want to of course, although I don’t think it’ll make you feel any better about my father.”

“Well, considering you know what I have planned for him.”

“Exactly.”

Feeling your uncertainty though, Crowley stood and pulled you with him. “Come. Show me.”

The world shifted around the two of you, finding yourselves inside a home as a doorbell rang. A woman stepped out, humming and opening the door with a smile.

“Y/F/N, and here I was thinking that you’d forgotten about me.”

Your father looked grim, the younger you cradled on his arm, head resting on his shoulder. “This is serious Lia.”

Lia sighed heavily. “What has happened now? I’ve warned you about keeping her out of this.”

Your father stepped inside, his grip tight on you. “This is beyond what she’s seeing. She disappeared for over a day, Y/M/N was distraught, then she just appeared as if nothing had happened, but talking about angels and demons and some…grey man.”

“Dear, I told you she was going to be a magnet to this stuff,” Lia led through to a living room. “There is no helping it.”

“The demon possessed her Lia,” Y/F/N growled. “Told her some crap about it helping someone that only she could see-”

“It’s true Daddy-”

“Hush Y/N,” He said, a little angrily as he placed you on a lounge. “You can’t tell me that that is normal Lia.”

Lia still looked unfazed. “You worry too much. A demon can’t do much in a child’s body-” Crowley snorted. “-And even then, she seems unfazed by it.”

“Because she doesn’t know any better!”

“And whose fault is that?” Lia folds her arms. “I’ve warned you plenty of times, especially since the church incident, that she is always going to be involved, and as both her father and a hunter, you should know better, you should be helping her through it.”

Crowley could feel your uncomfortableness but when he cast you a glance, your expression was unreadable.

“She’s not to be involved!”

“Hence why you keep bringing her to a witch,” Crowley’s eyebrows shot up even as Lia stepped forward and cradled Y/F/N’s head between her hands. “When are you going to learn?”

Y/F/N sighed, holding her there. “I already have one involved enough in this, I don’t need both.”

“You’re going to get in trouble Daddy.” Younger you mumbled, not looking at them.

“Be quiet Y/N,” Y/F/N growled. “This doesn’t concern you.”

She poked her tongue out at him as his attention goes back to Lia.

Crowley could feel your heart aching and he squeezed your hand gently.

“Can you help or not Lia?” Y/F/N asked. “Or have you just been taunting me with it?”

Lia pouts but is stopped as another small voice comes in. “Mummy?”

Crowley stares at the young girl, who was watching on with eyes very similar to your own, the only thing giving the truth away.

Younger you perked up and waved. “Hi Angela.”

Angela frowned at her. “You seem different Y/N.”

“Angel, enough, go back to your room please.” Lisa said calmly. “Y/N is in trouble-”

“I didn’t do anything!” Younger you cried, eyes starting to shine. “I told the truth!”

“Sit down Y/N,” Y/F/N barked. “You are in enough trouble already.”

Sobbing a little, she sits, her head hanging.

Angela looks at Y/F/N. “What did she do?”

Y/F/N outlook softened and he went and knelt in front of her. “It’s nothing for you to worry about sweetpea. Why don’t you go play in your room and I’ll come see you later okay?”

Angela smiles and nods. “Okay Daddy.”

Younger you sniffs.

“I have no recollection of being treated in such a way.” You said quietly. “Even looking at ones after this, things weren’t…quite right.”

“It’s not your fault Y/N,” Crowley said. “You couldn’t have known these things.”

You nod solemnly as Y/F/N returns his attention to Lia. “Well?”

Lia sighs. “There is a spell dear, but it is risky. It could do more harm than good.”

“Will it keep her away from all this?”

“As long as she doesn’t run into anything supernatural, then yes.”

“Then let’s do it,” He said firmly. “This has gone on long enough.”

Lia looks at younger you, who looked more than a little scared and still upset, before she nods. “Alright, bring her to my room.”

The world shifts again and the three enter a small room, younger you being pulled along by Y/F/N before being forced to sit.

You could feel Crowley tensing. “There’s nothing you can do Crowley.”

“I know, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Lia started pulling things out of draws and cupboards, placing them in a bowl on the table.

“Daddy, I don’t like this.” Younger you said. “I want to go home.”

“It’s just some medicine to make you feel better sweetheart,” Y/F/N said. “Now sit still.”

Crowley watched as the room began to fill with purple swirling haze, thickening as Lia began to speak, making him glance at you.

“You could see the spell working?”

“Apparently.”

He looked around as the spell continued and for the first time noticed something glowing faintly on a wall.

“What is that?”

“I don’t know,” You said softly. “There is something on it that you can make out afterwards but it’s not something I recognise.”

There was a bright flash then, making you both squint, and very dark, almost bloodlike liquid sat in the bowl.

Lia poured it into a cup and placed it on the table in front of Y/F/N. “There you are, all she has to do it drink it.”

Y/F/N looked unsure. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Lia nods. “It should cut off her abilities, make it as if she’s never had them.”

“She’ll forget?”

“It’s possible. I did say there were side effects.”

Y/F/N stares at the liquid for a moment before picking it up and turning to face younger you. “Alright Y/N, this is going to help.”

She shook her head. “No.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not giving you an option here. You’re going to do as I say and drink it.”

Younger you shook her head and tried to scramble away. “No!”

Y/F/N caught her and held her tight on his lap, his hand clamped around her jaw forcing it open to start pouring the liquid in.

You shudder, the scene going quiet as she continues to struggle, Y/F/N looking blank as he holds her.

Crowley looks at you, your expression drawn and tired looking.

“I can’t stand hearing her scream again,” You said quietly. “I’ve watched it enough times to be able to replay it without anything.”

“Y/N…”

You shake your head. “There’s still more.”

Younger you went still, just sobbing quietly and continuing to drink, Y/F/N stroking her hair, the unusual ambience in the air starting to fade including the glow from the wall, revealing a symbol before disappearing into a rather primitive looking mask.

“It’s going to be okay Y/N.” He said. “This will make it all better.”

“You know, for a hunter, you’ve done some bad things Y/F/N.” Lia said, watching with an amused interest.

He is silent as he pulls the glass away from your lips, now covered in red, eyes empty, and strokes your hair. “I am simply doing what is necessary.”

Crowley didn’t like seeing you motionless like that and shifted uncomfortably. “So that got rid of your abilities and memories?”

You nod. “I’ve been trying to work through it, but there is a lot of black, I still can’t find anything about the church they mentioned earlier. I mean, you don’t remember much when you’re young anyway but…” You shake your head. “I’m not even sure I want to know.”

Everything looked frighteningly normal in the memory now, even as Y/F/N puts you gently back on the chair, pulling out a hanky to start cleaning your face, Lia watching.

“She may be out of it for a few hours.” She said quietly. “May be time for the three of us to catch up a bit.”

Y/F/N paused a little before he sighed. “Will she be right on her own?”

“Of course. You know nothing happens in this house without me knowing.”

Y/F/N nods, bends and kisses your head, before turning and leaving with Lia.

Crowley was furious. “You cannot be serious? That they put you through that and left you?”

“I said you wouldn’t like it,” You said through a sigh. “But yes, and they aren’t even aware I’m conscious.”

The only thing that gave it away was the tear that shed down your cheek.

Crowley’s chest ached, if it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have bat an eye, but this was you and he knew this would weigh on you.

“I’m sorry love,” He said quietly, pulling you into him, you not resisting. “I’m sorry you have been through all this.”

“It’s not the worst of it,” You mumble against him, having missed him. “It’s only partly why I haven’t come back.”

“What’s the other part?”

Just then, your hands clenched in Crowley’s jacket, a heavy groan leaving you as you tensed, the memory flickering into others, some Crowley recognised, and within that were flickers of what you should’ve been able to see.

You slumped as the small room came back into focus, Crowley holding you up.

“Y/N, what was that?” He tried to hold back the concern in his voice, but it just made you chuckle weakly.

“That’s the damn power trying to right itself.” You said, the exhaustion clear. “Seems it’s been muted this whole time, now it wants to try and see everything.”

Crowley was silent for a long moment, holding you as you regathered. “Is this my fault love?”

“No.”

“Y/N-”

“Crowley, I mean it, don’t.” You mumbled, still not moving. “This is not your fault, I think it was going to be bound to happen anyway, ever since I got into the hunter life. I guess the grey man was the final kick.”

Crowley’s jaw clenches, watching as you struggled to right yourself, the lines under your eyes heavier.

He cups your cheek and gives you a small smile before he rests his head against yours. “Come love, I think it’s time we got you out of here.”

With a soft kiss, you felt yourself pulled away, almost through a whirlwind of colour before you slowly blinked up at the bunker lights before groaning, your body aching.

“Easy love,” Crowley’s arms wrapped around you, helping you sit. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“Water?” You managed to croak only to find a glass already there. “Thank you.”

All four men were silent as they watched you drink before you have a heavy sigh and rest back.

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked.

“One hundred percent.”

Sam winched. “I’m sorry Y/N, we’ve just all been worried.”

You look at them through half closed eyes. “Well, I’m still kicking, that counts for something right?”

Just then, a bolt of paint went through your head, making you hiss in pain as you tried to blink the bleariness from your vision.

Crowley was the first to come into focus. “Are you alright?”

“I think I’ll be getting those for a while,” You rubbed your head. “Hopefully it’ll be something I can basically turn on and off, otherwise that’s going to be very distracting.”

“Your sight is breaking through?” Castiel asked and you nodded. “How did you lose it?”

You sighed and let Crowley help you off of the bed. “A long story, one I’d like to tell with food in my stomach.”

Crowley ended up doing most of the explaining, you wanting to actually eat a meal, hunger curling painfully away in your stomach.

Sam, Dean and Castiel had mostly listened, although it was clear that they didn’t like it any more than the two of you did.

“So that pretty much reiterates that your Dad is a dick,” Dean said. “And that there is another pure blood out there.”

You shake your head slowly. “Not necessarily. Angela was born from a witch, meaning she could just be a witch.”

“Or human,” Crowley said. “Which, in all honesty, let’s hope that.”

“Since when has our luck ever been that good?” You take a long drink. “Either way, I have a feeling that they are going to be the best bet for finding Y/F/N.”

There were looks shared that you missed as you ate some more food.

“You can’t seriously want to find him still?”

You looked at Sam, who, besides Crowley, looked the most concerned. “Of course I do, as much as it’s probably not the wisest decision, he’s the one with the answers.”

“He’s also likely to kill you given what’s happened.” Sam said.

“I’d like to see him try.” You and Crowley said together, making Dean flinch.

“You guys just keep making this weirder.” He grumbled.

“I can make it weirder if you want,” You said flatly, making him stare at you. “Or are you going to grow up a little Dean?”

“They share a profound bond now Dean,” Castiel spoke up. “Chances are, they are both now capable of things that we would never understand.”

“That’s reassuring.” Crowley said. “But I’d much prefer knowing what.”

Castiel shrugs. “We may never know. A demon and a Pure Blood have never been together before. It could have a vast number of affects that we just don’t know about.”

“Always comforting Feathers,” Crowley growled. “I would’ve thought that anything adverse would’ve happed by now.”

“In all fairness Crowley, I didn’t even realise that other stuff was happening.” You said with a small sheepish smile. “And neither did anyone else except Sam.”

“Something I’m still not overly happy about.” Crowley said. “But for all we know that could be it.”

“It also couldn’t.” Sam said. “Demon’s are incredibly powerful-”

“I hadn’t noticed.” Crowley quipped.

Sam’s jaw clenched, but he continued. “It could bring out a number of things that we haven’t seen before.”

“As long as she doesn’t start making giant suicidal teddy bears, I’m good.” Dean said, making three of you frown and Sam rolled his eyes. “What?”

“Jokes aside, I think you’re going to be better off taking it slow Y/N.” Sam looked at you seriously. “You’ve been through a lot and the last thing we want to do is push you beyond what you can control.”

“What exactly are you trying to say Sam?”

“Let us deal with it,” He looked at Dean, Castiel and Crowley for support as you frowned at him. “Let us find out what we can and when we think the time is right, we’ll tell you.”

“You want me to sit on the bench?” You asked a little incredulously, seeing agreeance across their faces.

“It would be better for the moment love,” Crowley said gently. “Especially if you keep getting-”

He was cut off as you suddenly drew in a deep breath of pain, your hand clenching the table as pain seared through your head, your knuckles turning white.

You weren’t even aware of Crowley’s hand on you until the pain faded, and even then, you had to focus on your breathing before you dared open your eyes.

“Those.” Crowley finished, giving your shoulders a gentle squeeze. “Are you alright?”

You looked up and winced, clearly seeing what younger you had been seeing, Sam and Dean both having an energy around them, Castiel’s wings tucked in neatly behind him.

Crowley felt the tension in your shoulders. “You can see it, can’t you?”

Mutely, you nod, dropping your head down, your eyes hurting.

He sits next to you, taking your hand. “Look at me love.”

“It hurts.”

“Please.”

Wincing a little, you look at him, the red very clear, but he wasn’t as hard to look at as the others and he brushed the tears away.

“You aren’t going to be up to doing much with that going on,” He said. “Especially when it hurts to see.”

You sigh and close your eyes, the pain getting too much. “I don’t like sitting still.”

“None of us do,” Dean said. “But when you are down and out, there’s not much you can do.”

“I’m still capable of handling myself,” You said a little angrily. “And who know what danger Y/F/N could throw at us with two witches behind him.”

“Exactly.” Crowley said gently. “Which puts you in greater danger.”

“But-”

“Either way, you look like shit Y/N.” Dean cut in. “Let us handle it for you. We’ll drag you in when we’ve got enough.”

You looked at Dean, trying to ignore your wavering vision. “I don’t want you guys sticking your necks out for me.”

“We can handle ourselves.” Dean said, then nods at Crowley. “Please, you know he’s not going to let you do anything.”

The argument went on, but the four of them wouldn’t have it, especially after another moment that had your vision return to normal but with no less amount of pain.

It was agreed that your time would be spent between the bunker and the apartment, depending on who was helping with what and you could at least help with research.

You didn’t like it, but with your headaches only getting worse, there wasn’t much choice.

Neither you or Crowley could expect the next problem that come along though.

It was a good day, something that you were grateful for, but you were still unwilling to leave the apartment you and Crowley shared, mostly because you’d noticed that it was always worse in the bunker.

You were sitting, reading, when there was knock on the door, making you frown. You were meant to be left alone by staff, that was the arrangement that Crowley had made.

The knock came again, this time followed by a voice. “House keeping.”

The voice sounded foreign, something you hadn’t noticed around here before, making your frown deepen, hunting instinct kicking in even as you went to the door.

“I didn’t order anything.” You said through the door.

“Oh? No tea or cakes dear?”

“No thank you, you are meant to leave this room alone.”

There was a low curse and you had just enough time to leap back from the door before it burst open, a fiery red head stepping inside.

Your vision blurred for a moment and you hurriedly blinked it away. “Well, at least you’re a witch and not a vampire, mind you, I’m not too fond of either.”

The woman was calm and collected, putting on a charming smile that made you raise an eyebrow. “I only wish to talk dear.”

“If you wanted to talk, I wouldn’t have recommended breaking down my door.” You said, eyeing her carefully. “Now, I’m going to give you one chance to leave.”

The woman smiled though, the door repairing itself behind her as she stepped inside. “Oh no dear, I’m not leaving till I get what I want.”

Crowley’s phone rang and he was irritated for a moment until he saw it was you, answering straight away. “Y/N? Is everything alright?”

“I’m wonderful Crowley, how are you?”

Crowley frowned, noting the several tense emotions in your voice. “I’m fine. Has something happened love?”

“No, well, unless your mother paying me a visit counts?”

Crowley went to you in an instant. “My mother?”

You hang up your phone, a glass full of ice and whiskey help to your head. “Yes, your mother.” You nodded to the other side of the room.

Rowena was strapped to a chair with iron huffs, a bruise forming under one eye and blood caked her nose. She still smiled. “Hello Fergus.”

Crowley groaned. “What are you doing here?”

“Making sure the little harlot doesn’t distract her boy from his throne.” Crowley looked at you and you shrugged. “Her words, not mine.”

He glared back at Rowena. “You’ve been spying on me?”

Rowena looks at him innocently. “Only because you seemed so distracted all the time. I had to make sure that the King of Hell was performing at his best.”

Crowley’s anger was palpable. “So you do it by attacking my wife?”

Honestly, it was hard to tell who was more surprised at this, you or Rowena.

Rowena scoffed. “I hardly hear your little demons talking about a queen.”

Crowley blanched at this, realising what he said, casting a glance at you as you raised an eyebrow, before he shook his head at Rowena. “It’s complicated, I wouldn’t trust any of those blunder heads anywhere near her.”

Rowena raised any eyebrow. “You’re telling me that you are dating a human?”

“A hunter more specifically,” You cut in, ignoring the small look of panic from Crowley. “Hence why you are beaten and tied to a chair.”

“I wouldn’t get too cocky dear,” Rowena clipped. “Humans are awfully frail.”

You growled, your eyes flashing, despite the pain it put through you.

Crowley grabbed you, holding you back. “”She’s not worth it Y/N.” He then frowns at a cut on your forehead, touching it gently. “Are you alright?”

“She hit me with a lamp.” You said, annoyed. “Some all-powerful witch she is.”

“Hold your tongue.”

“Or you’ll what? Yell at me some more?” You and Rowena glared at each other. “I think I proved exactly what I think of your witchcraft. If it wasn’t for the fact that you talked so much, you’d be nothing but a puddle on the floor.”

“Your wife is adorable Fergus, but I suggest she learn her place.” Rowena turned an angry gaze on Crowley. “I will not be mocked.”

“In all fairness mother, I have little doubt, should she be pushed to it, that she could render you as much less than a puddle on the floor.” Crowley said, ignoring the darkening of Rowena’s gaze. “But as for her place, she knows it very well and there’s no chance in heaven or hell that you are going to change that.”

He snapped his fingers and Rowena rubs her wrists, her eyes narrowing.

“I hope she hasn’t made you soft Fergus.” She said darkly. “Because that’s not going to work out for anyone.”

“And I suggest you keep your mouth shut about things you don’t understand.” He said coldly. “You so much as touch her again and there will be nowhere you can hide from me.”

Rowena brushed herself down as she stood. “I’m only trying to protect you Fergus. I have that right as your mother.”

“Well don’t,” Crowley growled, even as you went to talk, making his stance clear. “Not from Y/N.”

Rowena clearly didn’t approve, looking between the two of you for a moment before putting on her most charming smile that made your stomach twist. “I’m here to support you dear, so whatever you want, I am happy with.”

“Get out.” You cut Crowley off this time. “Now.”

Rowena bows a little. “Of course dear, it was such a pleasure to meet you.”

Crowley sighed. “Just go Mother.”

Rowena tuts, but leaves, leaving just the two of you.

“What a vile woman,” You growled, draining your glass before shooting him a glare. “Any reason you didn’t tell me she showed up?”

“Because the less you have to do with her, the better.” He said gently, watching you closely. “Are-”

“I’ve got a hell of a headache Crowley, I don’t recommend asking me that again.” You said angrily. “Now-”

Before you could move or say anything, Crowley pulled you to him, wrapping you securely in his arms, making you sigh.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He said quietly. “If I thought that she’d find you, I would’ve put more things in place.”

You wanted to argue, something you could tell he knew by the tension in his arms, but your head was hurting too much to do so, groaning and burying against him.

Crowley looked at you a little guiltily, everything coming through about how you were feeling, about how frustrated you were.

He kissed the top of your head. “How about I run you bath love? Then I think it might be best if you spend a few days with Sam and Dean.”

“That makes my head worse.” You mumble.

“I know,” He said gently, rubbing your back. “But until I can ensure that Mother won’t find you again, it’s going to have to be necessary.”

You looked at him. “We’re going to have to move?”

Crowley presses a chaste kiss to your lips. “Temporarily. Until I decide what to do with her.”

You didn’t like it and it clearly showed.

He smiled though. “It’s only rough now love, I promise it will get better. Our time is just around the corner.”

“It’s a long bloody corner.” You grumbled, settling against him again, making him chuckle.

“It’ll be worth it.” He then starts to guide you towards the bathroom. “I promise. Now, let’s get you relaxed to clear your head again.”

“Will you join me?”

“If you ask nicely.”

“Crowley…”

“I’m not going anywhere love.”

You smile at this and then glance at him. “So, wife huh?”

He winces, giving a small frown before he looks at you. “Too soon?”

You chuckle. “Crowley, we are bound anyway.”

“Yes, well, it’s not technically in a way a husband and wife is bound…”

“Does it matter to you?”

Crowley blinked, staring at you. “Well, no-not if it doesn’t to you.”

You smiled at him, kissing his cheek. “Relax Crowley, I was simply curious. As long as I am yours, you can call me whatever you want.”

He returns your smile. “As I said, I’m not going anywhere.”

Life back at the bunker was hardly ideal, retreating a lot to your room, unable to stand long periods of time with the boys or Castiel, your head aching too much. What was worse, was Crowley had limited his visits to protect you, Rowena apparently being even more annoying that she had been.

So to say you were feeling just a little miserable was an understatement.

It wasn’t to say that they weren’t trying to make you comfortable, keeping you stocked with books and food and company when you could handle it, but you didn’t like being kept out of discussions on how they were doing on finding your extended family.

Dean was working extra hard and you knew he was trying to make it up to you, not that he would admit it.

Sam was your most regular companion, often trying to keep things normal for you, something you were grateful for, but it didn’t stop you noticing his occasional looks of concern, especially when your headaches were worse.

Castiel would often be the best relief, drugs doing little against the pain, but he was limited with what he could do, both power wise and your own body reacting. You’d quickly worked out that letting him sooth the pain too long, it would make it a lot worse later.

Apart from that, it was often best to avoid the angel, he tended to be the one to ask awkward questions, one’s you didn’t have answers for, so you just avoided it.

Finally, after what felt like too long, you felt like your head was finally starting to settle a bit and you were actually getting some control over your abilities.

That was when you walked in on them talking. You knew Crowley had turned up but it wasn’t unusual for him to talk to them first, but you weren’t expecting them to fall silent as you entered the library.

You raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Crowley was first to react. “How are you feeling love?”

You frown. “Pretty good actually, no drama’s yet.” You looked between them all. “Well, apart from the four of you standing there looking very awkward.”

The only one who didn’t flinch was Crowley.

“You can tell me what’s going on you know,” You said. “It’s not like I’m going to pass information onto anyone or anything.”

It was meant as a joke but it just made them more uncomfortable.

Crowley clear his throat. “It’s not that we don’t want you to know love, it’s just that we’d prefer you not to, for your own protection.”

You looked at him. “You found them?”

“Yes,” Sam said before anyone could answer. “We want to go in and check it out, then we can decide what to do next.”

It was clear they expected you to be angry over this, but you just shrugged. “Okay, just don’t do anything without me.”

“You’re not mad?” Dean asked, still looking concerned.

“I’m finally starting to feel better, to be able to actually see normally again without pain flaring through my head, the last thing I want to do is jump start all that crap again.” You said. “So go see what’s going on, and be careful about it, I don’t want to have to come to the rescue.”

Dean snorts but you raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t push your luck Dean, I mean it.” You said seriously. “You four are prone to trouble, hate to have to ruin your reputations by coming in and saving the day.”

Sam, Dean and Castiel clearly didn’t know how to react, but Crowley stared at you.

“That was terrible love.” He said.

You grinned. “I know, I couldn’t help myself.”

“You were joking?” Dean asked.

“Well, I still don’t want to have to come save you, but yes.” You sit, giving a small smile. “Again, I’d rather not have to be recovering seriously again.”

“Agreed,” Crowley said. “Are you going to be alright by yourself?”

You stared at him. “I’m a big girl Crowley, I can handle myself.”

Amusement flashes across his gaze but he still looks serious. If anything happens-”

“I’ll call.” You promised. “You don’t have to worry about me all the time.”

The four of them planned a bit more before heading off, leaving you in somewhat peace in the bunker.

Crowley checked in regularly, often with messages to make you laugh, something you were grateful for, especially when small headaches plagued you still.

It was a couple of days before you felt an unease settle in your gut. You’d simply been reading and trying out moving small objects, but suddenly you couldn’t focus on any of that. You didn’t say anything, not wanting to make them worry more than what they already did, but the longer it went on, the worse it got.

Then you stopped hearing from them.

It took a lot of effort to stay calm, the feeling not helping, and it wasn’t until you paced back through the bunker for the hundredth time that you suddenly paused, a sudden thought coming to you.

The symbol that you’d seen in Lia’s house, the one that had been nagging at you, that you felt like you’d seen before but couldn’t place, you suddenly had a thought as to where.

You quickly pulled out one of the few books on pure bloods that you’d read a dozen or more times so long ago, flicking through until you found it.

“Shit.” You were dialling Crowley’s number before you could even think about it.

When it answered, you just started talking. “Crowley, listen. Do you remember that symbol that we saw? I finally know what it is and I need you guys to come back now, this is bigger than all of us and we are going to need one hell of a-”

“My, my, you do talk a lot.”

You froze, heart hammering as you straightened out. “Lia.”

“Ah, so the memories have come back. Well, I did warn him it would happen.”

“Where’s Crowley?” You growled. “And the others?”

“Oh, they’re all here, happily waiting for you.” There was an odd note in her voice that you didn’t like. “Y/F/N is particularly keen, he’s been so worried.”

You grit your teeth. “You do anything to them-

“That’s going to depend on how long you take, isn’t it? I suggest running along now, I’m sure I can think of some interesting uses for demons blood after all.”

The line went dead, making you curse and breath for a few moments, swallowing the panic.

They’d sent you the address, so that was no issue, but the thought of going in blind and without backup were not pleasing thoughts.

There was only one person who came to mind that would be of any use.

The house itself had changed little from what Crowley had seen in your memories, although there were a few more pictures around of not one, but two grown up children, still sharing the same eyes, something that gave Crowley an even worse taste in his mouth than just being in this situation to begin with.

He’d warned the three of them against trying to get into the house, but as usual, they didn’t listen. Now Castiel was god knows where, Sam and Dean were tied and gagged on chairs and he was stuck in a very elaborate devils trap that, had he been in a better mood, would have actually admired.

When Lia had answered his phone to talk to you, he’d been furious.

“I hope you realise what wrath you have just brought upon yourself,” He said, a little cheerier than what he felt. “Y/N is not someone to be taken lightly.”

Lia scoffs, tossing his phone down. “Trust me demon, I am well aware of what trouble I’m about to bring into my home and I am well prepared for it.”

“I seriously doubt that.” Crowley said.

Lia observes him before giving a smile. “What? Is she the type to think that a few demon powers she can hardly use will be enough? Or perhaps she thinks that a simple witch killing bullet to my heart will do it?” She walks closer to the trap, holding Crowley’s gaze. “This has been planned for years, and no false king of hell and his tainted demon bride is going to stop it.”

Crowley bit his tongue, drawing blood as he refrained from several unpleasant things that he wanted to say. “Underestimating her is going to be your downfall, I promise. Y/N is unpredictable, and if you think she’s going to let you use us against her, then you have another thing coming.”

The door opened, Angela walking in, carrying the same air and poise as her mother. “Does the demon ever stop talking?”

“Most demons don’t dear,” Lia said, ignoring Crowley’s comment and following glare. “We shall have a guest soon.”

Angela grins. “Good. We have a lot to catch up on.”

“I can’t imagine it’s going to be good family bonding.” Crowley growled.

Angela looks at him and smirks, before her and Lia exit, leaving the three of them in the room.

“Dammit,” Crowley snarled and then glares at Sam and Dean, who are struggling against the ropes. “If anything happens to Y/N, you two are dead.”

Dean growls in response, tugging hard at the rope.

“I told you that there’d be things in this house,” Crowley toed the edge of the trap, but knew there was nothing to be done. “But no, just another witch hunt, being easy as pie.”

Sam huffs in annoyance.

Crowley eyes the room, taking everything in. It looked the same, but something felt very different. “You better hope Y/N comes in with some sort of plan boys, otherwise I think this could be the end of all of us.”

He didn’t like feeling cut off from you and the longer it went on, the worse he felt.

It was a few days and Lia was clearly agitated, pacing in the room.

“Ugh, you would think that she would’ve been here by now.”

Angela was flicking through a book. “Maybe your plan of using them against her backfired?”

“Or she’s just a coward,” Lia growls. “Should’ve known-”

“Watch your tongue,” Crowley growled. “I assure you, you won’t know what hit you.”

Lia smiles. “I have to say, it’s oddly adorable seeing a demon in love, shame it won’t mean much once this over.”

Crowley scowls. “Is that all you witches are capable of? Talking? Or underestimating? I can’t decide which one is more pathetic to be honest.”

“Like that means much coming from a demon.” Lia scoffs. “All your kind do is manipulate words.”

“We’re at least good at it,” Crowley said. “You two are saying words for words sake. Keep that up when Y/N gets here and she’ll crush you under her boots.”

Lia laughs. “Oh, I’d like to see the little pure blood try.” She draws out a knife. “As for you, I think I need to give her a little more motivation.”

Crowley rolls his eyes. “Please. Do your worst. Torturing is what I do, if you think a little knife is intimidating, I’ll gladly show you my collection.”

“Like I’d torture a demon with an ordinary knife,” Lia purred just stopping at the edge of the devil’s trap. “This is more than enhanced enough to have you screaming as a babe fresh from the womb.”

At that moment, the lights in the room flickered, making Angela stand quickly and Lia look around.

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” Sam and Dean jumped as you appeared between them, looking calm and collected.

“Y/N-” Crowley started but Lia threw up her hand, something flashing around the trap, silencing Crowley, who scowls.

“So, you do decide to grace us with your presence,” Lia smiles. “Not a coward after all.”

“Last I checked, coward and hunter didn’t exactly belong together.” You said and then pointed at the knife. “Tell you what, you get rid of that and we can have a nice simple conversation.”

They all just looked at you for a moment.

“Do you really think you’re here just to talk?” Angela spat, making you look at her.

“Of course not,” You said, a slow smile coming to you. “Angela right? Or, what was it? Sweetpea? My, my, you let yourself go didn’t you?”

Fury crossed her expression. “Like you are one to talk.”

You shrugged. “Take it how you want, but I see straight through you.”

Crowley stared at you, a little stunned and more than worried, but the hint was clear. There was more going on here than what they could see.

“Now, as for that knife,” It flew out of Lia’s hand before she could react, burying into the wall near Sam. “There we go, that’s a bit better now isn’t it?”

“You think getting rid of the knife is going to mean much girl?” Lia scoffed. “We are witches! We could kill you where you stand!”

You smiled, opening your arms a little. “Believe it or not, I had noticed. The place was warded to the teeth, took me a little bit to work out how to get around, but the sheer fact I did should really make you question how afraid I am of you.”

Stepping a little closer, you take a quick glance around. “It really hasn’t changed much, has it? Mind you, the traps certainly stand out.” You point to an empty space in the middle of the room. “I have to say that one’s awfully nice, did you put that together just for me?”

The spell was launched fast, but you’d been expecting it, diving behind the lounge, grinning at Sam and Dean as they had muffled voices against their gags.

“You arrogant child, you haven’t changed at all have you?” Lia snarled. “Still thinking that you are completely infallible.”

“I don’t know about that.” You said. “I’m surprised you remember me at all considering how much you’ve changed.”

You moved just in time as another blast rocks through the air, a part of couch blasting away.

“For someone that doesn’t want to kill me yet,” You shouted. “You’re doing a piss poor job of showing it.”

Sam was struggling against his ropes, as was Dean, both seeing the situation getting out of hand, Crowley watching desperately. Sam suddenly tensed as he felt something cool pressed in his hand. He glanced at the wall, seeing the knife gone, so he closes his hand and feels it, catching your eye momentarily before you focused back on hand.

Sam swallows and starts to cut through the ropes.

“The spell is to immobilise you,” Angela said. “Then we can focus on killing you.”

“Cute,” You drew your gun, glancing over the lounge. “Shame you actually have to hit me first Sweetpea.”

Lia launches another spell, making you move, standing up and firing.

The bullets never hit.

Lia grins. “Little bullets like that don’t work on us.”

“Well, it was worth the shot.” You toss your gun down with a shrug, it landing between Sam and Dean. “Figured you’d be smarter than that though.”

Crowley didn’t understand what was happening, and it was clear from Sam and Dean’s expression that they didn’t either. You were too calm for this, too casual, but Crowley wasn’t about to doubt that you knew what you were doing.

A thoughtful expression crossed you. “Although, that may be a bit too much credit considering what you are involved in, especially you Sweatpea, this is a dangerous game that you are playing.”

“Shut up!” Angela shouts, launching yet another spell, but this time you don’t dodge, the spell stopping mid-air before it hits you.

You tilt your head with a smile, enjoying the stunned expressions. “Little spells like that don’t work on me.”

Crowley saw straight through it though, he saw the strain it was putting on you to do that. The longer he looked though, the more he realised that something else was very off about you too, and it was making him uncharacteristically anxious.

A small wave of your hand and the spell vanished. “So, it seems we’re at a little bit of an impasse here.”

Lia scoffs. “Trust me girl, we have a lot more tricks up our sleeves. There is going to be no easy way out of this for you.”

“Life isn’t easy,” You shrugged. “I’m used to it.”

Another spell, this one you let move around you, cracking hard into the wall behind you. “Didn’t we just establish that it wasn’t going to work?”

You felt the air crackle too late though, the spell having reformed after hitting the wall and you were blasted forward, tumbling over the lounge and into the circle that was laid out for you.

“Now you little bitch, why don’t you just-ah!” Lia and Angela both leap back as a burning light surrounds you, making everyone look away, the circle burning through the ground leaving deep dark lines.

You vanished.

Lia’s eyes burn with fury. “Witchcraft? You dare use witchcraft on us?!”

Crowley shared a look with Sam and Dean, all of them confused and wondering how you could possibly know witchcraft too.

Then Crowley groaned, realising what you had done.

“Show yourself!” Lia growled. “Or we will make you!”

They hardly waited, both of them starting a spell that made the room feel heavy and dangerous, the air crackling with magic, but even as the spell continued, there seemed to be no effect.

Angela cursed. “She couldn’t even come in person! I think it’s time that we start to just kill these unnecessary ones off!”

She draws a knife and starts stalking towards Sam and Dean, Sam quickly calculating what was going to do, the knife firmly held in his hand behind him, the ropes free.

The knife launched from Angela’s hand, flying across the room and straight into yours as you stepped into the doorway.

You smiled, leaning against the doorway, tossing the knife in the air and catching it. “Well, while not entirely to plan, I’m certainly glad to know that the two of you can’t be a bit more creative.” Everyone stared at you. “Oh? I’m sorry, did you really just expect me to charge in here?”

Still getting no response, you sighed. “Underestimating a hunter, tut tut. You two aren’t the only ones to be able to elaborately plan you know? Makes me sad to think that we are even related at all.”

“We are not related.” Lia spat. “Enough of-“

“No, we are definitely not,” You cut her off and held up the knife, letting your sight shift. “Isn’t this a pretty thing? I’m guessing it took some serious work to get this together.”

Lia screeches and another spell is launched at you, one you quickly dodge, the wall scorching.

“I’m sorry,” You smirked. “Am I delaying your plans by not cooperating?”

Lia goes to launch another spell but Angela holds up her hand. “Don’t.” Lia glares at her. “She’s protected. Whoever she got to help has done a damned good job of it.”

“I’m sure she’d like to hear that.” You step a little into the room, looking over at the trap now scorched to the floor. “Well, that certainly worked better than expected.”

Your eyes flickered up to meet Crowley’s and he knew instantly that you were terrified, that all this was an act, a distraction, for what, he wasn’t entirely sure and sure as hell wished he could ask. He didn’t like seeing you like this.

“Don’t kid yourself,” Lia spat. “It’s still more than capable of holding you.”

“Shame I have to be in it to do it then.” You said and then looked around. “Well, it seems we’re missing someone from this little party. Care to tell me Y/F/N is?”

Angela laughs. “You really want to see Daddy dearest?”

“Not really but you did offer.” You held her gaze, all expression of amusement gone. “So I suggest we get this show on the road, yes?”

The two of you hold each other’s gaze for a long moment and Crowley started to realise that the real challenge was between the two of you, making him look at Lia, wondering what could possibly be going on.

Angela smiles and turns to the back of the room, muttering a spell that allowed the wall to fade, showing Lia’s workshop behind, Y/F/N tied unconscious to a chair, another intricate circle beneath him.

You raised an eyebrow. “Um, wow, I can’t say I was expecting that.” You seemed to think for a moment, glancing at Sam, before back again. “You realise there’s a true vessel of Lucifer sitting right there don’t you?”

Sam, Dean and Crowley stare at you while Lia scoffs.

“An unwilling one,” She snarls. “One that got him thrown back into that damned cage.”

“True,” You agreed slowly. “But Y/F/N isn’t exactly going to be willing to this, is he?”

“He doesn’t need to be,” Angela said. “Once our spell is complete, Daddy dearest won’t even be there anymore.”

“Right, but-” Lia attacks again and this time you push it aside.

There was no hiding it this time, you trembled from the effort.

Lia grins. “How many more of those can you do, little pure blood?”

You steady your breathing. “As many as necessary, especially if it means taking down you two idiots in the process.”

Another spell, this one catching you off guard a little, straining your power just a little more than you would’ve liked, making your head throb, but you ignored it, knowing that they weren’t going to back down.

“You know, I’ve just about had enough of this.” You growled. “You two are clearly insane if you think it’s a good idea to break Lucifer out of his cage, and I don’t give a flying toss about any sort of prophetic bullsh-”

You only just managed to dive out of the way this time, the knife flying from your hand; two spells launched at once, sending both Sam and Dean crashing to the ground. With a shift of power you knew was unwise, you sent the lounge flying towards them, only for it to vanish and leaving you without any cover.

“You can pretend to know what’s going on all you want Y/N,” Lia spat. “But I promise you will never understand the full extent.”

Breathing hard, you return to your feet, the pain in your head increasing but you had to keep ignoring it, smirking. “What? You mean the sacrificing of a powerful pure blood to resurrect Lucifer isn’t what’s going on here? Honestly, I didn’t think it made much sense either but whatever keeps you going I guess.”

“You know nothing!” Lia and Angela both threw two spells at you and you only just managed to brace yourself, the air crackling around you and realised, as there was a shimmer of energy, that they’d removed the spell protecting you.

You had just enough time to straighten back up, gaze dark, before a flare of pain through your head took you off guard, making you cry out in pain and stagger slightly, the world blurring before you. You didn’t hear Sam, Dean or Crowley try to shout, but you did feel a knife slip into your lower back.

A sharp intake of breath had you freeze as the pain suddenly died from your head, focused entirely on the pain now radiating through your back, feeling your power drain.

Another hand grabbed you as you tried to bring yourself back into focus, the world swimming before you, and the hand kept you up.

“Where do you want her Mother?” The voice was male, but it was also void of emotion and any feeling, and you knew instantly that he was under some sort of spell.

Lia grins, triumphant. “In the circle please Ryder, there’s a good boy now.”

Your legs struggled to move as Ryder led you forward towards the circle. You wanted and tried to fight, but the knife was only twisted, making you hold back another cry.

“Remember, don’t join her in there.” Lia warns, stepping around as Ryder then shoves you forward, the knife pulling free and you collapse to your knees in the middle of the circle.

You felt it instantly, the air around you shifting and trapping you in place even as you breathe hard, glaring up at Lia and Angela, ignoring Ryder behind you.

“There, now isn’t that better?” Lia asked.

“I don’t think you’d like it if I answered honestly.” You said, feeling blood quickly soaking down your back. “I guess the plan is to just let me slowly bleed to death huh?”

Angela scoffs. “Expecting to get a say in the matter? You forfeited that right years ago.”

You didn’t dare look at Crowley, didn’t even dare to glance his way, you knew what you’d find there. “Did I? Must have been a good decision then.”

There was a blow hard across your face as Lia hit you, but you didn’t go down, just looking back at her with cold eyes.

“Insolent child,” She scowled. “You could’ve had the whole world if you wanted it.” She looks at Angela. “Get the ritual started.”

Angela moves away, grinning, and Lia kneels down to your level to hold your gaze.

“You don’t remember do you?” She asked with a cold smile. “You don’t remember the church?”

You swallowed and licked your lips which suddenly felt too dry. “Well, I thought that would be a given, considering the spell work that was put on me, but you know that, you watched it all happen.”

She looks a little surprised. “You can see me though? Now that is something I never thought you’d never be able to do again.”

“Everything,” You growled. “Guess it wasn’t hard for Angela to work a little spell like that, even on her own mother, not under guidance such as yours.”

Lia laughs. “And you are assuming you know who I am, you are adorable.”

A smirk tugs at your lips. “You’re Morgan Le Fay, a rather unfortunate namesake really, considering I’m sure the real Morgan Le Fay, should she have ever actually existed, would’ve easily wiped the floor with you.”

Her smiles fades, turning to a dark glare. “So, the little pure blood actually did her research.”

“You and your little Lucifer mad cult were taken down by the Men of Letters in the 18th century, but you were conveniently the only one unaccounted for.” You tried to straighten yourself, tried ignoring the throb from the wound in your back and the slow puddle of blood that was forming. “I’m guessing, that little mask I remember seeing, is where you’ve been hiding all these years, biding your time.”

Lia, or Morgan, sneered at you. “Well, with hardly any pure bloods around in that time, I knew I had to do something, especially with those bastard letter men on my tail. So yes, I got myself out of the picture, managed to get picked up by a gypsy camp who believed I gave them good luck. I knew I only had to bide my time before another witch found me and I could start my plan again, so I waited.”

“Let me guess though,” You fought back a shudder from the pain. “Lia was too strong simply to just take over.”

Morgan snorts. “That type of spell requires two witches dear, as does this.” She glances back at Angela for a moment before returning her gaze to you. “Truth be told, you were meant to be in opposite places.”

The shock on your face was clear, making Morgan’s grin return. “Imagine my surprise when not one, but two little pure bloods came along, only months apart, from a father that was convinced that he knew what he was doing was right. I could see the prophecy being fulfilled right before my eyes and I hadn’t even had to do anything yet.”

There was a violent spark through the air and Morgan looks over at Crowley, who was furious, his hands shaking, blood dripping from them where he’d tried to break through. “Oh hush now, don’t you want to know what all this about? I’m sure you must be curious, bound to her and all, that was certainly something I never saw coming.”

Her gaze returns to you. “You are the first pure blood in a very long time to have a gift, I hope you know that. When I learnt that you could see supernatural beings in their true forms, see peoples aura’s, I was overjoyed. You had been what I was waiting for. You were the one that Lucifer was meant to be bound to.”

An odd silence fell for a moment, making her grin widen.

“Oh yes, and he’d found you too, managed to gather enough strength to break out just a bit to see you.” Morgan shakes her head. “Your mother of course didn’t believe you about the man in the church with the large white wings, thought that you were talking childish nonsense and kept you away, apologising.” She gives a sigh of frustration. “All you had to do was touch just one feather, just one, and this all would have been a lot simpler.”

“Lucifer’s been trapped in the cage for centuries.” Sam snarled from across the room, having quickly pulled his gag away and then returned his hands behind his back. “It’s not possible that that’s who she saw.”

“Isn’t it?” Morgan asked. “You have witnessed the power of archangels; surely you don’t doubt that they are exceptionally powerful? Lucifer only needed a moment with her, a moment that her dear sweet mother wouldn’t have known appeared if it-”

Morgan was thrown backwards with a cry, fury beating at you as you growled. “You don’t get to speak of my mother.” You struggled to your feet, fighting off the wave of nausea and light-headedness. “And you certainly don’t get to act as if you are better than her.”

Brushing herself down as she got back to her feet, Morgan’s expression was smug. “Your mother was lucky to have your father at all, Lia came so close to making it so, but of course, you got in the way of that.” She shakes her head. “But it matters not, it was because of your mother that you rejected Lucifer-”

“Good!” Your voice rose, despite the tremble in your body, the churning of your stomach, and now the throbbing headache as the memory tried to break through. “I’m glad my mother saved me the hassle of doing it now!”

The air rushed out of you and, instinctively, your hands flew to your throat as you started to choke, but it wasn’t Morgan that was casting the spell.

Angela’s eyes shone with a faint purple light. “You don’t get to speak of him like that! Not when you have forfeited the right!”

You struggled against her magic, fighting with everything you had. She was powerful, of that you had no doubt, but you also knew that she was somewhat untrained, you could see it in the difference between the way the two of them worked, clearly Lia or Morgan had been holding her back.

“Angela dear, enough.” Morgan said as the lights above begin to flicker. “We don’t want to kill her yet.”

The pressure vanished and you struggled to stay up, coughing and forcing air back into your lungs.

“She doesn’t even deserve this,” Angela hissed. “We would be better off-”

“She is the only way we can free Lucifer.” Morgan said sternly. “I have waited enough years, I will not wait any more.” Her gaze moves back to you. “I had never been so insulted when you turned up that day having been connected to a demon, never seen such arrogance in a child thinking that you could just do whatever it was you wanted. I had hoped that Lia removing your memories would cause fewer issues down the line when we got to this point, however, I think I’m almost glad that it’s ended this way, certainly makes me feel more satisfied.”

There is another shower of sparks and Morgan faces Crowley again, Crowley hitting whatever field was around him again.

“Shall I deal with the demon mother?” Ryder asked.

Morgan shakes her head. “No dear, once Y/N here is gone, he won’t be of any threat.”

“Don’t bloody bet on it.” Crowley growled, even though none of them could hear him, looking at you, only to find you quickly looking around the room, despite the pained and exhausted set in your shoulders, despite the amount of blood you were still losing, you were alert and clearly trying to find something.

“You can get her tied down though.” Morgan nods back to you, drawing your attention. “And do make sure that she can’t move, I’d hate to think of her spoiling our plans again.”

A chair was dragged forward and you willingly sat, mostly so you didn’t have the threat of being stabbed again, the knife clear on Ryder’s belt.

“It’s pretty sad that you’ve got to control him with a spell.” You said loudly as he tied you to the chair.

“The boy is nothing special,” Morgan set. “He carries the pure blood genes but that’s about it. He will only be useful if we need to make more.”

You screwed your face up. “That’s…awful.” Then you thought for a moment. “Hang on a sec, if sweetpea there is going to Lucifer’s darling bride, and you are putting Lucifer in my father’s body…” You made a disgusted noise. “Do you even realise how wrong that is?”

They both ignored you, Ryder standing diligently to your side.

“Wow, you two are more messed up than I thought.” You muttered, your gaze once again returning to the room.

“Says the one whose own father wanted to try and claim them?” Morgan said lightly, helping Angela with several ingredients on a bowl next to Y/F/N.

“Well, if it had ever gotten that far, it’s not like it would’ve been-” You froze, staring at her. “It was a spell.”

“He never did try and stop keeping you safe,” She said. “Unfortunately for him this time, he got me instead of Lia, so I had to make sure I kept things interesting.” She looks back over at Sam and Dean, Dean fighting hard against his ropes. “It is interesting though that it affected one brother and not the other, I guess that had something to do with the fact that, as you said, one is Lucifer’s true vessel.”

“What was your goal? To make my life more miserable?” You asked.

“Yes,” She said flatly. “I wanted you to suffer as much as I could make you suffer without revealing our plan to you.” She smirks. “Isn’t it interesting though, if things went to plan, you’d be with the tall one.”

“Mother, it’s ready.” Angela said, effectively stopping whatever response you had.

A slight hint of panic overtook you, making your head swim for a moment, your head hanging as you fought to breathe deeply.

You had to convince yourself that you could do this, you’d been practising against the bunkers wards, had been able to focus enough that you could sense where everyone was, this was going to be no different, despite the wound and exhaustion.

If you could find what you were looking for, then this would be over quickly.

Sam was debating with himself whether to move or not, watching what was happening as the two witches started to chant, he could still see Dean struggling against his ropes, but right now, it was the least of his worries.

Their backs were turned, as was Ryder’s, so he figured that he had a chance.

Slowly, Sam moved himself, letting the ropes fall as he rolled onto his stomach, the knife still in hand, Dean caught his eye and tried to signal for him to come over, something Sam started to do before another bit of movement caught his eye.

The gun was shifting slightly.

Sam stared at it and sure enough, it started to move towards him slowly. He wasn’t sure how you were doing this, but he wasn’t going to argue, keeping low and reaching out, taking the gun as it closed in distance between him.

He glanced up at Crowley, clearly caught between watching you, watching the witches and looking around for something.

Dean made a small noise and Sam quickly silences him, pressing a finger to his lips. They all had to trust you and whatever it was that you were doing.

There was chanting, but you ignored it, sweat breaking out on your brow as you worked through the wards that were holding you, weakened after your earlier stunt. You had managed to get the gun to Sam, now you just had to find what you were looking for.

You’d been searching for it before you come in, but outside, as you’d been warned, it was near impossible. You’d had enough control to sense a little when you sent the illusion in, but again, it wasn’t enough and didn’t last anywhere near as long as you would’ve liked. Now here, tied to a chair, this was the last opportunity to manage it, to gain the control of the situation.

Your head hurt, mostly from your powers still raging through at inopportune times, but also from the fact that the air was growing heavy.

You managed to focus a little, to let yourself explore the room and just as you felt something tug at you, words were said and a hand gripped in your head, snapping it back as you growled.

“Keep her like that Ryder, I want her to know what’s happening after all.” Morgan said smugly and then nods at Y/F/N. “Wake him up. Time for him to play his role.”

You watched as your father was woken up with a heavy groan, not sure how you felt about all this. His eyes were hazed over for a moment before he blinks and focuses on you.

“Y/N?”

You grimace. “Dad.”

He shifts and looks around at Morgan and Angela. “Lia…Angela…what are you doing?”

“Aww, isn’t that just sweet, even after all this he still cares.” Morgan said. “Get the mark on him, I want to get this out of the way.”

“Mark…what…what is happening?”

“We’re being sacrificed to resurrect Satan.” You said and snarled as your head was tugged back further. “Remind me later to question your parenting methods, not to mention who you chose to cheat on Mum with.”

Y/F/N looked at Angela as she tore open his shirt and began painting on his chest. “Angela, honey, what are you doing?”

“She just told you.” She said coldly. “So if you aren’t going to listen to her, then why would you even listen to me?”

He blinks and you knew he was still a little foggy from whatever spell he’d been under. “But why?”

“Because she denied her birth right, so I get the honour of taking her place.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jealous much?”

“You don’t get to speak!” She spat. “He always cared about you more! You were always the favourite!”

You chuckled. “As I said, jealous much?”

She snarls and turns furiously to Morgan, even as Y/F/N watched with wide eyes. “What next?”

Morgan smiles. “Now we can begin dear, as long as you are ready?”

“More than ready.” Angela said, collecting the knife from Ryder and standing before you. “I have been waiting to do this for years.”

“Considering I haven’t even known you, I don’t think that that is really fair.” You watch her come in with the knife, the blade pressing sharply into your cheek, breaking the skin and letting a small drop of blood trickle down your cheek.

Her eyes burned with a slight madness, the purple in them flaring up again. “That doesn’t matter anymore. This all ends now.”

“Just make sure your timing is right Angela. I’d hate for it to be messed up because you got too eager.” Morgan said and picked up another blade and bowl, facing Y/F/N.

Angela stepped back a little, scowling, but still at the ready. The lights throughout the room flickered, causing Morgan to smile. “Ah, the angel has finally made his way back. Too bad it’s too late.”

You knew that it was going to be now or never as Morgan began to chant, the air instantly becoming oppressively heavy. You could sense Sam was free behind you, waiting for whatever you had planned. You could feel Crowley’s gaze on you, furious and terrified. The sharp sting of Ryder’s grip in your hair. The throbbing pain from the wound in your back. The headache that was still beating down on you.

You had to zone it all out.

Closing your eyes, you follow where you had felt the twinge earlier.

Crowley watched your hands grip the chair tight, the knuckles turning white, a frown creasing your forehead, he knew what you were looking for, knew that it would put an end to this madness.

Licking his lips, Crowley eyed the trap. If he could break it just enough, then he could help. He stared at the blood on his hands for a moment before it clicking, kneeling and starting to draw a symbol on the floor.

You felt a slight surge of power through you, almost letting it throw you off until you recognised the familiarity of the touch. Somehow, Crowley was helping.

It was enough though, enough that you found the mask buried in the far back of the room in a well-protected chest.

“Get out of the circle Ryder.”

Your hair was let go and you knew you were out of time.

With a furious growl, you called up everything you had, every single bit of pain, hate, anger, anything and everything you could use.

Just as Angela stepped forward, the knife raised, your eyes bled red and the chair disintegrated beneath you and you stood, taking her by the throat, her eyes going wide, a scream cut of in her throat.

There was light pouring from the circle around Y/F/N, who was struggling, clearly in a lot of pain. At the sound from Angela, Morgan turned, purple eyes flashing dangerously as she raised a hand to speak another spell.

The explosion in the back of the room stopped her and she turned, eyes going wide, just as the mask soured into view.

Sam was ready, firing without hesitation.

The shattering of several powerful spells at once rocked the house, light bursting everywhere, making everyone shield themselves as best they could. Wall cracked and the ground trembled under the force of it all, the lights and windows bursting, scattering glass everywhere. Symbols burst to life along the walls, each burning and sparking, smoke starting to fill the room.

All of this happened in a matter of seconds, but it seemed to take a long time for everything to settle.

Sam was first up, coughing as the dust and smoke started to settle and he hurried over to Dean, cutting him free.

“Holy shit,” Dean coughed. “What kind of magic was at work here?”

The burst open, Castiel coming in, looking around at everyone, a very curious Rowena behind him.

“Is everyone alright?” Castiel asked, going to Sam and Dean.

“Is anything about this alright?” Crowley asked as he stood, brushing down his suit. “Honestly, you idiots-” He froze, suddenly looking around for you.

You groaned from where you’d ended up on the floor, struggling up, almost nothing left as you fought to breath. A glint caught your eye and you just made out the knife that Angela had been holding.

Your mind foggy, it was hard to understand why you found that so odd.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Crowley called and tried to step forward before cursing. “Can someone get me out of this damned trap already?!”

You managed to get yourself in a seated position, head hanging as your vision went in and out of focus, the world spinning.

Angela…where was Angela?

“Angela don’t!”

The voice was your fathers, broken, exhausted, but still loud enough to get your attention.

Your breath left you and you looked at your chest, the glint of the knife now sticking into you, Angela’s hand holding the handle, triumph in her gaze.

“No!”

You couldn’t tell who shouted, maybe everyone? You hardly even registered as she exploded in front of you, already feeling yourself falling backwards, an unusual sensation tugging at the back of your mind.

A familiar hold had you then, the voice you loved speaking to you, about what, you couldn’t tell. You were too far gone.

Managing the faintest of smiles, you let it all go.

An eerie silence fell across the room, Crowley holding your now lifeless form. The shock was clear on everyone’s faces. This was not how it was supposed to go.

Crowley looked at Castiel, his heartbreak clear. “Bring her back.”

Castiel swallowed. “I can’t.”

“Bring her back!”

“I can’t, Crowley.” Castiel said. “It’s…it’s not how it works for purebloods. You know that.”

“She can’t, she can’t make that choice! You have to…to…” Crowley trailed off and he held you to him tightly, his head hanging.

“It was never going to be your choice Crowley,” Castiel said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“So…she’s not exactly dead then?” Rowena asked, holding her hands up at Crowley’s furious look. “I’m just trying to point out the positive dear, I don’t know what you are worried about.”

“It’d be better if you kept your mouth shut.” Castiel said to her coldly. “How you are even involved in this, I don’t know.”

“Y/N asked me, and considering Morgan Le Fay was one of my rival’s back in those days, I was more than happy to assist.” Rowena said sweetly, throwing in a smile, which quickly sunk at the dark looks. “Oh come, she’ll be back in no time!”

Sam let’s out a short breath of annoyance before moving, going over to Y/F/N, who was sitting with wide eyes, his shock clear, and cut him free. “Are…are you alright?”

Y/F/N blinked and looked at him, his eyes shining. “Y/N…”

Sam swallows and goes to answer, but is cut off by a growl, Crowley on his feet and glaring at Y/F/N with furious red eyes.

“Crowley, you can’t take it out on him.” Sam said quickly, stepping between the two of them.

“Why not?” Crowley snarled. “If it wasn’t for that blundering idiot, then none of this would have happened!”

“You can’t put all this on me!” Y/F/N yelled back. “If it wasn’t for you, then she wouldn’t have been re-exposed to all this!”

“If you hadn’t taken her memory in the first place! If you had taught her from the start!”

“I was protecting her!”

“You were making it easier for the witches!”

There was a groan, cutting them both off as they look over, Ryder struggling up, looking very confused.

Crowley went to take a step forward.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Dean hurried over, helping the kid up and standing in front of him too. “Crowley, you can’t just take it out on them. They are victims in this too.”

Crowley was breathing hard, his hands shaking. “I don’t care. He hurt Y/N and as far as I’m concerned he was no less involved!”

Dean flinches a little, but stands his ground. “I know man, but Y/N wouldn’t want this. She said he was bewitched, he didn’t know what he was doing. You can’t blame him for that.”

Y/F/N struggled to his feet and beckoned to Ryder. “Come here son.”

Crowley growled, even as Ryder looked terrified at him, hurrying over to Y/F/N. “So you are just going to let them get away with it?”

“The ones really responsible are dead Crowley,” Sam said. “Morgan’s spirit broke when I shot the mask and you…well, you made short work of Angela. We get it, we do, your angry, but we need to think this out reasonably.”

Crowley’s whole body was shaking now, fighting to try and contain himself, but without you there, without your familiar feeling, it all felt too much.

Castiel rested a careful hand on Crowley’s shoulder. “You need to worry about her Crowley, we don’t know what…condition she’ll come back in.”

It seemed to be enough, Crowley’s eyes going slowly back to normal as he shrugs Castiel’s hand off and moves back to you, flinching at the knife still in your chest. Sitting with you and pulling you into his arms, he carefully pulled it free, blinking furiously to stop tears falling, something he made sure to hide from the others.

Sam lets out a long breath, running his fingers back through his hair. “O-okay. Right.” Dean glances at him and Sam shrugs. “I don’t know man, I don’t know what to do after that.”

“You might want to check the other witch.” Rowena said, nodding into the corner of the room. “If I’m not mistaken, she’s still alive.”

Sam and Dean look over to Lia and see that she is still breathing, hurrying over to help her up.

Crowley growled from where he was. “I suppose you are just going to let her get away with it too.”

“Lia’s a white witch.” Y/F/N snarled, struggling to his feet.

“Yeah, and I’m an angel.” Crowley said coldly. “She was stupid enough to let a cursed artefact into her home and get possessed by it, not to mention whatever you got her to do to Y/N, that certainly wasn’t-”

“I was protecting her!”

“No, you were fuelling your own ego thinking you could live a double life!”

“Like you would even-”

“Enough!” Dean shouts. “Come on!”

Castiel joins Sam and Dean, resting a hand against Lia’s forehead, making her groan and slowly blink her eyes.

“Easy does it,” Sam said, helping her sit. “You’ve been through a lot, you need to take it slow.”

Lia looks around the room slowly, taking in everyone and then taking in the condition of her home. “What…what happened?”

There was a moment of silence.

“Your daughter went insane and resurrected an ancient witch into your body. Both of them then tried to free Lucifer by killing your boy toy and his better daughter.” Crowley said flatly.

Dean sighed. “What he said.”

Lia blinks at them. “What?”

Y/F/N manages to move, coming over to her. “Lia…there’s…there’s a lot to explain.”

Crowley zoned them out, he didn’t want to hear any of it, as far as he was concerned, all he wanted to do was string them up and torture to them, it was little more than what they deserved.

He focused on you, motionless in his arms, still no sign of anything.

Doubt, fear and worry gnawed at him. Would you be different because of your demon powers? Would you get the option to come back at all?

He shook his head, he couldn’t think like that. It would kill him if you couldn’t.

But he still couldn’t sense you.

Crowley brushed your hair back, noticing the shake in his hand, he sighed, clenching his hand and closing his eyes, for the first time in his life, praying that a miracle would happen.

“Wait, he’s what!”

Y/F/N cut through Crowley’s thoughts and he scowls at him, eyes dark.

“They’ve been bound for a while now, there’s nothing you can do about it.” Dean said. “So I wouldn’t even begin to-”

“And you had the nerve to blame me!” Y/F/N yelled at Crowley, stepping forward. “You had the hide to take this out on me! When I’ve just lost half of my family!”

Crowley’s eyes narrow. “And how exactly does me being bound to Y/N have anything to do with that? Did you not notice her power helped put a stop to all this? If it wasn’t for me, you’d be playing pony to Lucifer!”

“If it wasn’t for you, she wouldn’t have-”

“Y/F/N, stop.” Lia said softly, touching his arm, making him look at her. “The decision was put out of your hands long ago, and besides,” She looks at Crowley, understanding. “He loves her. He wouldn’t do anything to intentionally put her in harm’s way.”

Crowley huffs. “You’re lucky I don’t just kill you both. I’ve seen and heard what you’ve done to her, and I can promise neither of you are going to like where you go.”

Lia gives a small nod. “I can understand that, but you need to understand, that back then, I…I simply wanted Y/F/N for myself. I did what I did to remove other distractions from the picture, meaning that I and my family could have more time with him.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself.” Crowley growled. “Witches are all the same. They all do anything to get what they want.”

Rowena rolls her eyes. “Please Ferus, don’t be so dramatic.”

“Mother, shut up.”

“Rude.”

There was a heavy groan from within the house and they all looked around the walls.

“I think we may have to get out of here fairly soon.” Sam said. “I don’t think the structure liked being blasted with magic like that.”

There was a loud snap from somewhere upstairs followed by things falling.

“Yeah, I’ll second that.” Dean said and then looked at Crowley. “Are you…right with her?”

Crowley snorts and goes to answer back, but was beaten to it.

“You ask really stupid questions at times Dean.”

Everyone froze and then looked at you, smirking, eyes half open, from where Crowley was holding you.

Relief flooded Crowley as the connection between then two of you seemed to snap back in place, stronger than what it was before.

“Y/N?” He croaked.

Your smile widened as you managed to focus on Crowley. “Hey sunshine. Miss me?”

He broke into such a grin that it had you chuckled a little, leaning into him tiredly, your body and mind exhausted, something he quickly felt, his smile fading a little as he carefully helped you up.

Castiel was the first of the others to break the silence. “Y/N, you…you are human still?”

You nod slowly, Crowley’s arm around you to keep you standing. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“How?” Dean asked. “I thought that it was part of lore.”

Your hesitation was only momentary, enough that none of them noticed. “Guess I really am one of a kind.”

Sam smiled. “Glad you weren’t out of it too long Y/N, I don’t think we could’ve held Crowley off to much longer.”

You chuckled, even as Crowley shot Sam a glare. “Well, I still feel like shit, so I guess it was only a job half done, right?”

“I think I still owe them.” Crowley growled on the low to you. “Just say the word love.”

You leaned against him. “Maybe later, for now I’m too tired to deal with it.”

“Y/N…” Your father’s voice was unsure, staring at you with wide eyes.

You close your eyes, not moving from Crowley. “Later. For now, I think it best we get somewhere safe, especially before any police offers turn up.”

“But-”

“And no, I don’t know what happened to Angela.” You glanced at Y/F/N and Lia, who both tensed. “And nor do I care, she did just kill me after all, and I can promise that that isn’t a pleasant experience.”

“Here, here.” Sam and Dean agreed quietly.

There was another loud crack from within the walls, before there was snap, and they all reappeared in a car park next to the Impala.

“How-”

“”I trust you can all find your own way back.” Crowley said quickly, holding you firmly. “And I trust that none of you will bloody even try and contact us any time soon.”

They all stared at him, but Crowley no longer cared, with another snap, the two of you vanished.

Crowley’s lips were on yours before you even had a chance to register where the two of you were, everything being poured into the kiss as he pressed you against a wall, holding you as close as possible.

You didn’t resist, giving into him instantly, knowing that he needed it, at least for a moment.

He broke away, resting his forehead against yours, his voice broken. “Don’t you dare do that again.”

You hold him just as tight. “I didn’t even want to do it once, so I’ll think I’ll definitely pass on the second.”

Crowley groans and buries against you neck and it was only after a moment that you realised that he was crying.

“I thought I lost you.” He said. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”

“Of course I was,” You said, your fingers trailing into his hair, your own tears starting as the reality of everything seemed to finally settle over you and what you had just been through. “I’ve already promised that I won’t leave you, no matter what. No one is ever going to stop that from happening.”

He moved and kissed you again, gentler this time, assuring himself that you were there, that you were real. “I never thought I’d get close though, especially not like that.”

You brushed his tears away, returning several kisses of your own. “I’m okay Crowley, I promise.”

Crowley sighed and nuzzled his nose against yours. “You are exhausted; I don’t think that’s okay.”

You give a small smile. “It’s better than some of the alternatives.”

He gives you a small smile and next thing you know, you were being pulled up against him in bed, the blankets wrapped securely around you, making you smile and quickly bury against him, hardly fighting the tiredness settling over you.

“We can talk about everything tomorrow love,” He said softly into your hair. “For now, I want you to sleep, because I’m definitely not going anywhere.”

You hum, chasing away the thoughts of everything else and focusing solely on his presence. “Thank you Crowley.”

“I love you Y/N, no one and nothing is ever going to change that.”

“I love you too Crowley. I’m glad it was you.”

Crowley didn’t need it explained what you meant by that, quickly slipping into a deep sleep, even as he traced patterns along your skin, comforting himself with your presence. He knew that there would be more to come, more to deal with, but for now, this moment here, it was enough.


End file.
